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andreimack

The Get It Off Your Chest Thread...

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7 hours ago, andreimack said:

Yeah I’d read the Tamb was dead on Facebook so popped in to read the Thanks for the Mammories Thread, I see it's still around though, new owners? Did Ally and Susan sign it over to someone or is it all top secret? 

Based on the way it's going I think Dave King is the new owner.

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17 minutes ago, Larky Masher said:

Based on the way it's going I think Dave King is the new owner.

That bad? I noticed it’s now got a politics section, surely that must cut down a lot of the bawbaggery that used to infect every thread? 

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8 hours ago, TDYER63 said:

A guy at work loves that programme. I have never seen it so cant comment but I was talking to him about some war documentary I had seen , he told me I watch shite and that he doesnt watch anything that ‘goes back the way’ 🙄

Maybe he has the right idea.

 

Quote

Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it.

Some old dead guy said that.

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10 minutes ago, Grim Jim said:

 

Some old dead guy said that.

I have to admit I had to google that. I am feeling so intelligent today between this and Biffers post on the weather thread.

It will give me something to chat to Mr Tdyer about tonight as opposed to counting the number of birds on the shirt he is wearing .

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8 hours ago, TDYER63 said:

A guy at work loves that programme. I have never seen it so cant comment but I was talking to him about some war documentary I had seen , he told me I watch shite and that he doesnt watch anything that ‘goes back the way’ 🙄

Maybe he has the right idea.

I think he's talking out his arse, tbh.

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2 hours ago, TDYER63 said:

I have to admit I had to google that. I am feeling so intelligent today between this and Biffers post on the weather thread.

It will give me something to chat to Mr Tdyer about tonight as opposed to counting the number of birds on the shirt he is wearing .

Eh?

ra,unisex_tshirt,x2200,101010:01c5ca27c6

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4 hours ago, Grim Jim said:

Eh?

ra,unisex_tshirt,x2200,101010:01c5ca27c6

What’s he dain wae Amanda Holden’s t-shirt on?

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8 hours ago, Ormond said:

What’s he dain wae Amanda Holden’s t-shirt on?

It looks better on him that it did on Bob the Builders floor

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13 hours ago, Grim Jim said:

Eh?

ra,unisex_tshirt,x2200,101010:01c5ca27c6

 

9 hours ago, Ormond said:

What’s he dain wae Amanda Holden’s t-shirt on?

She's got the biggest tits in the country, they're called Walliams and Cowell. 

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15 hours ago, Grim Jim said:

Eh?

ra,unisex_tshirt,x2200,101010:01c5ca27c6

😀 

He was wearing a shirt with birds on it the other night. We were disagreeing about what species of birds they were. After 37 years together,   and on day 5 of being  24/7 on holiday , conversation sinks to a new low.

When I got bored of this debate I started a competition to guess how many birds were on the shirt. I got fed up counting at 1,847 then fell asleep 🙂

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My Mrs is Buddhist but don't worry this isn't the time or place for religious bigotry - there's a two hour window later when I'll be able to make disparaging remarks about reincarnation and sing 'You can stick the Dalai Lama up yer arse' which I will look to utilise to its fullest though.   However, she is always spouting hippy trippy stuff like 'see things from all angles and you will become more open'.  What I think it means within the confines of our house is agree with her or I'm not getting sex for a month.  In a wider arena though it probably would be a useful tool to use in understanding geopolitical clusterfucks like Brexit, Trump, Yemen etc but probably best to start small so applied it to Disney movies as my 3.5 year old bundle of chaos is well in to them with their perceived visions of good:

Beauty and the Beast

Previously I was happy the spoiled wee prick got what was coming to him but on watching it with a fresh pair of eyes the punishment really doesn't fit the crime.  He's a 14 year old boy, rich, popular, with an empty and all the village fanny around for a castle party when an old woman rocks up demanding access to a finger-blasting chariot.  He's no reprobate so his parent's room would still be free but the old woman's continence can't be vouched upon so if his parents come home in the morning to find the remnants of a huge party and a urine drenched witch in their bed they'll no doubt go tonto.  The only reasonable course of action is to turn her away or at least ascertain if she is wearing rubber knickers.  

He is then cursed and has until 21 to break it.  I can't imagine having the capacity at 21 to understand a female emotionally and physically enough to achieve true love especially if my kitchen utensils randomly sprang in to song when folk visited.  Even approaching 40 I still don't really but much like the sit on Postman Pat van the wee lass was on at Sainsbury's the mechanics remain mysterious but things seem to occur when you stick a coin in (metaphorically speaking obviously - I don't put a quid in my wife's vagina and then jump on for the ride).  Sweet lovely Belle is no different.  

Beast gives her a fucking huge library, saves her life from wolf attack following her complete inability to adhere to basic instruction and puts her needs ahead of his own to let her see her father yet if Gaston hadn't have been attacking she wouldn't have gone back thus consigning Beast to an eternity of hairy sweaty arse syndrome - wiping must be an absolute nightmare.  Fast forward and she takes one look in his human baby blues and her knickers are around her ankles hosting balls to lord it over the peasants she was previously so derogatory about with her inverted snobbery.   

Had a talk with the wee lass after - 'if a man fights wolves for you and still lets you leave to find yourself he's a keeper and don't worry about the arbitrary  judgement of witches making the SFA look competent as we drowned or burnt them all a few centuries back'.  

Little Mermaid

Two races coming together through the love of two key protagonists whose species had previously completely distrusted each other - really lovely apart from Ariel being a fucking sociopath.  

How many men does it take to operate a clipper yet because Ariel deemed them too ugly to save they're consigned to Davie Jones locker.  Prince Eric back on shore you'd think would be distressed about the families left without a father but nope he's totally consumed only thinking about how he can possibly get a gill-wank now. 

The remainder of the film is about a medieval world war that can't be solved via the medium of sea-creature dance and which solely arose through Ariel's poor negotiating of a contract. 

Talk with wee lass - Always seek proper legal advice before entering in to a binding agreement as singing won't avoid payment of damages.   

Moana 

Teenage girl, canoe, cute sidekick and a demi-god go on a voyage of discovery in the seas around Papa New Guinea.  Can't help feeling that the success of this film is solely down to the backdrop.  Teenage girl goes on a voyage of discovery with a long haired heavily tattooed fella in his Vauxhall Vectra and staffy bull terrier in the boot through the streets of Rotherham probably isn't going to achieve the merchandise sales they'd have hoped for.  

Talk with wee lass - Anyone offers to take you on a voyage of discovery come speak to your dad.  

 Pocahontas

Holiday romance causing death of local love interest but bringing two races of people together before John Smith sods off back to blighty leaving her to deal with the repercussions of her father.  The true story though was she seemingly loved the white boaby and was off to blighty shortly afterward with another Caucasian leaving her dad to fight them off whilst she toured London as a society zoo animal before dying of pocks, scurvy, rickets and/or dysentery.  

 Talk with wee lass - if you must abandon me to almost certain death please just make sure your shots are up to date and you have taken the relevant travel advice.

Incredibles

Superman must be spinning in his grave with these selfish fuckers.  Bomb Voyage is still at large, Mr Incredible could have just left it and the bank's insurance would have responded but instead he destroys half a city causing untold disruption to commuters then basically says 'och fuck it - I'm off get married'.  In the next film the Under-Miner robs a bank, again remit of their insurance, but this time the whole family destroy half the city causing untold disruption to commuters before he escapes and they again basically give a collective shrug then go home.  However, superheroes are in danger and these bastards are all over it like a rash seeing it through to the very end.  

Talk with wee lass - if you do things that are exclusively for your benefit then you're a tory and will need move out at 18.  We also have five star defacto house insurance so no need to be a hero if someone breaks in to steal the tele.   

 

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The whole House of Fraser thing is annoying me.

It stinks!

They go into admin and 10 minutes later Mike Ashley buys the lot for £90 million and shafts all the creditors.

He’s probably put the logistics company out of business, and several suppliers are owed millions for the stock they have on their shelves. It’s put thousands of jobs outside the business in jeopardy at companies who can’t afford to take the hit.

I was ambivalent to the situation until I remembered I still had a gift card from Christmas.

:lol:

I doubt I’d have a leg to stand on legally if I just went in and shop lifted to the value of my useless gift card. Would be a good laugh if you were into making those videos for the internet to try it.

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That Scotland is a region on a par with Midlands and the South West.  (of England I presume) 

 

Edited by G-Man
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The British media especially BBC obsession with American politics. We almost hear more about US internal politics than the doings of the European Parliament, or the internal doings of the devolved parliaments other than our own. 

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10 hours ago, exile said:

The British media especially BBC obsession with American politics. We almost hear more about US internal politics than the doings of the European Parliament, or the internal doings of the devolved parliaments other than our own. 

Spot on, I had a rant on here a while back about the bbc quoting prices in dollars. ‘We’ are obsessed with the yanks for some bloody reason. 

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I can understand it a bit. The UK is 100% subservient to the USA that is pretty clear. So why listen to the monkey instead of the organ grinder? 

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15 hours ago, exile said:

The British media especially BBC obsession with American politics. We almost hear more about US internal politics than the doings of the European Parliament, or the internal doings of the devolved parliaments other than our own. 

I think this is exactly why the UK is leaving the EU: the media likes to act as if Britain is twenty miles away from the US, rather than twenty miles away from France. The only time that our media comments on the European Parliament is usually when something negative is happening there; never when anything positive happens.

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Why are folk getting arrested for burning the greenfell effigy when Guy Fawkes night is about burning effigies.

How are you meant to know what effigies you can burn, surely they are all done in bad taste.

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People on social media who don’t live in the US going all out to show how much they hate trump and how people must vote for the democrats 

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1 hour ago, ParisInAKilt said:

People on social media who don’t live in the US going all out to show how much they hate trump and how people must vote for the democrats 

Or indeed the opposite.

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10 minutes ago, Mox said:

Or indeed the opposite.

Sadly my social media group is overwhelming left wing, for lack of a better term. The virtue signalling is strong.

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Heard Yazoo "Another page in your diary" last week and find myself still occasionally humming it 

Yazoo and Alison Moyet are artists that you cannot listen to for any length of time 

Need a big gap between sampling 

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2 hours ago, Ally Bongo said:

Heard Yazoo "Another page in your diary" last week and find myself still occasionally humming it 

Yazoo and Alison Moyet are artists that you cannot listen to for any length of time 

Need a big gap between sampling 

You’re wrong Son. I could listen to the Big A all day. 😊

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