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ThistleWhistle

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ThistleWhistle last won the day on June 17 2018

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58 Great guy

About ThistleWhistle

  • Birthday 04/21/1980

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    BabeStation's Futon

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  1. Missed the Crow Road when it originally aired. Probably been on I-Player since but still never seen it so would be good if that got an airing. Didn’t know until looking up Wiki that the same folk made a film of Complicity – anyone know if it was any good?
  2. Listened to Radio 4 this morning and in fairness they gave the Brexit Secretary a bit of a hairy ride. He got to waffle on for a while about last night being a victory before asking him what the alternative to the backstop was now considering they couldn’t negotiate it in 2 years. He fumbled and stumbled before saying ‘Some form of technology’ and was laughed at pretty much although they did concede EU might well consider concessions at the 11th hour to protect their settlement payment. The more interesting interview was the Irish Opposition leader, whose party support a minority government, who was originally pretty much left to answer the questions unopposed so long as it fitted the narrative of his invite. When he went off a tangent and stated that his party had recognised that the Brexit discussion went beyond party politics, and that their mps had put party politics aside to protect the open border/ Good Friday Agreement, whereas HoC was more concerned toeing party lines the interviewer tried to shoot him down/shut him up throughout. There was hints of colonialism about it as if it wasn’t acceptable for an Irish MP to be criticizing UK politicians. It was a really strange reaction to a very interesting point about how the shambles has been handled this side. The thing I hadn’t appreciated though is the government deadline is effectively two weeks whereas the 11th hour wobble they’re hoping on doesn’t hit EU really for another 7-8 weeks. As such, the new negotiating stance seems akin to the Sheriff of Rock Ridge threatening to shoot himself in the face.
  3. Part of me agrees that it does stink trying to wriggle out of it by giving the public a second go and that using voter ignorance as an excuse is condescending especially as it doesn’t recognise the abject failure to inform the first time around. The difference in the EU referendum to the Scottish one will stay with me for a long time – I remember seeing a debate where the Leave guy argued nobody could possibly know what leave would look like and the vote was purely whether we were leaving or not and he wasn’t challenged at all. Pretty prophetic now really but can’t help compare to when any SNP/Yes folk were spoken to and were regularly asked what happened 5,10,20,50 years later when oil ran out. On the other hand the ‘leave’ campaign more and more vocally playing the ethics card is a bit rich given pretty much all their promises were a fallacy and they all pretty much disappeared up their own @rse when the result came about. Shite bags like Michael Gove and Boris giving it the big one now is almost unbelievable until remember shark hurdling is pretty much an Olympic Sport now.
  4. Got Now TV and cancelled my ticket about a month into the season because I went about three weekends barely watching ten minutes. Got it for three months for £20 a month so kept it but made sure I cancelled it before it went back up. Fancied Spurs v Man U so bought a week pass but even though the game was ok ended up playing snakes n ladders with the wee lass within 20 minutes. Maybe it was the novelty or not knowing much about it but I watched the NFL game and enjoyed it far more - if it wasn’t for being on late would have watched the whole thing. Flicked on to Man City last night mostly down to getting my money worth and lost interest pretty much straight away as it was just a passing drill. The Wolves sending off was totally bananas to me but it seems genuinely accepted as the correct decision.
  5. You could check if he's from Quebec by shouting 'mange mon gode!' prior to striking him with the rubber cock if you wanted?
  6. If his shell suit has a picture of Darth Vader on the front the fella posts on here so you could pm him to stop being a bam. Elsewise don't stab him as its clichéd - have you access to a ten inch rubber penis to club him with? Couple of years in a mental hospital wing would be all you'd get then.
  7. Took wee lass to a Wacky Warehouse for her 4th birthday party and we got 30 kids. Greet most of the parents as they come in and give them the free light refreshment voucher – one of the dads says ‘oh I’m going just drop Dave and come back in about an hour if that’s ok?’ I agree and he is out of there before I can actually nail down which one of the hyperactive wee bastards is his. No problem I think – I’ll just ask Mrs Whistle but she says she hasn’t got a clue either who Dave is but suggests Whistle Junior will know. Unfortunately Whistle Junior is up on level four of the climbing frame and showing no sign of coming down any time soon. I have to drag my fat arse up the apparatus, through herds of mental sugar fuelled ‘rules of the jungle’ kids and finally catch mine swinging from the monkey branches - she reluctantly agrees to help me track down Dave. She’s like a ferret and trying to keep up with her through the tunnel, over the cargo net, under the rolling sausage things has me sweating like an absolute beast. She’s well ahead and disappears around a corner when I hear her shout glaekit ‘Quick Dave my daddy is chasing you’. Before I can get around the corner they’re down the slide cackling like lunatics and all I can see is the back of a 3 foot Hulk disappearing to in to the distance. ‘Fuck it’ thinks I – I’m just going sit here and wait for their return. Unfortunately a fat, red faced man sitting uncomfortably at the top of the slide without an obvious kid of his own is not a great look and a couple of parents at the bottom were evidently wandering what I was up to. Luckily Hulk turns up but wee lass has scarpered. ‘Are you Dave’ I say in a voice that I am overly conscious of being a bit creepy. ‘Sorry my dad says not to speak to strangers’ – which is a fair point but it takes me all my restraint not to tell him that’s all well and good until his dad fucked off to watch Liverpool v Man U leaving him in a room full of them but before we can get in to logical discussion he is tearing down the slide. I launch myself after him in a manner that would be deemed out of control, reckless and a red card offence in current football parlance or a quick word that’s then rescinded on appeal if I played for the Old Firm. I get there just in time to wheezily point him out to my wife expecting a pat on the back for my efforts as try to avoid a potential cardiac arrest. To my surprise she says ‘That’s not Dave – he’s in the party hut having a drink’. Feeling slightly uncomfortable I’d just chased the incorrect infant down a shoot because two kids turned up in a Hulk costume she compounds it by smugly telling me she knew who Dave was all along and just wanted to see my fat derriere struggle up the spongey ladder to get to level two. We’re about to argue the toss when the eponymous Dave comes over ‘Thistle Junior’s Dad – I need a poo’. I walk him to the toilet like a condemned man and as I see it I have four potential scenarios ahead of me: I get a request for a help to wipe with the single ply paper being all that is between my didgit and a four year old’s anus. I stand and watch a four year old wipe his arse and talk him through it oblivious to if anyone is listening outside. I hang about outside the cubicle and give general motivation chat or ask how he is getting on hoping nobody walks in. Leave him in the hope Dad turns up before he shits himself especially as the cuffs on his Hulk suit don’t look particularly jobby tight and if that streaks on the slide it’ll ruin it for everyone. Option C is obviously the best of a bad bunch and stand outside the cubicle but unfortunately ‘Junior’s Dad – I can’t get the suit off’. So I’m in a toilet cubicle trying to unfasten his Hulk costume without looking and think I’ve got away with it when he says ‘Finished’ but unfortunately he means finished shitting so his knob is out and he’s expecting a wipe. I’m not getting involved in that so decide it is his dad’s fault he’ll do home with an itchy arse; make sure he washes his hands though as I am not a total reprobate. Curveball – Dave’s mum turns up and she is proper proper fit. I’m nervous around moderately attractive women so I’m looking like a prime gammon when a second EU referendum is announced on seeing her and the situation is compounded by Dave straight off the bat telling the now leading contender on the Cancer Mum Replacement List I watched him have a poo. I got all flustered and told her he needed help taking his suit off and that I tried not to look but couldn’t help it! Her looking at me really very shifty exacerbates the problem and all I can think to say is jokingly ‘He’ll make a girl very happy one day – like a baby holding an apple!’ And that your Honour is how I found myself in the position of having a sweaty red face, looking extremely dodgy whilst complimenting the sexual reproductive organ of a 4 year old in a public place. Where do I sign and date the register?
  8. 100 euros for 12 tickets (4 tickets for 3 games in Nice).
  9. I now even find how he runs like he's carrying two heavy suitcases struggling to catch his train when he realises he is out of position endearing.
  10. I remember Stoke playing Leicester in the second leg of playoffs in 96 for the Premiership. Lennon was gesturing at the Boothen End throughout the game but absolutely shit his pants when the pitch invasion came - quickest he ever ran I reckon. The majority of the 6-7,000 terrace were on the pitch and if there hadn't have been police horses and dogs across the pitch there would have been serious trouble. Stoke fans were going on anyway and the majority were over the moon with even getting to the playoffs but with his nonsense was a catalyst for turning dark. Stoke fans were far from angelic but we'd been on the week before at the end of the regular season with no meither at all. Not one person on that pitch would have been after him for being a Catholic but there was defo complete weapons wanting to get a hold of him. I think he's a knob because he obviously hasn't learnt and could easily have incited a pitch invasion. If it were up to me whoever chucked the coin should get banned and Lennon should get a hefty touchline ban but that is never going to happen. Suggesting it's down to racism makes Scottish football look even more tin pot than it already is. MON jumped about like a lunatic and never got half the shit.
  11. Rumours a Palestinian enqired if an Israeli's da sells Avon so the response seems proportionate
  12. My Mrs is Buddhist but don't worry this isn't the time or place for religious bigotry - there's a two hour window later when I'll be able to make disparaging remarks about reincarnation and sing 'You can stick the Dalai Lama up yer arse' which I will look to utilise to its fullest though. However, she is always spouting hippy trippy stuff like 'see things from all angles and you will become more open'. What I think it means within the confines of our house is agree with her or I'm not getting sex for a month. In a wider arena though it probably would be a useful tool to use in understanding geopolitical clusterfucks like Brexit, Trump, Yemen etc but probably best to start small so applied it to Disney movies as my 3.5 year old bundle of chaos is well in to them with their perceived visions of good: Beauty and the Beast Previously I was happy the spoiled wee prick got what was coming to him but on watching it with a fresh pair of eyes the punishment really doesn't fit the crime. He's a 14 year old boy, rich, popular, with an empty and all the village fanny around for a castle party when an old woman rocks up demanding access to a finger-blasting chariot. He's no reprobate so his parent's room would still be free but the old woman's continence can't be vouched upon so if his parents come home in the morning to find the remnants of a huge party and a urine drenched witch in their bed they'll no doubt go tonto. The only reasonable course of action is to turn her away or at least ascertain if she is wearing rubber knickers. He is then cursed and has until 21 to break it. I can't imagine having the capacity at 21 to understand a female emotionally and physically enough to achieve true love especially if my kitchen utensils randomly sprang in to song when folk visited. Even approaching 40 I still don't really but much like the sit on Postman Pat van the wee lass was on at Sainsbury's the mechanics remain mysterious but things seem to occur when you stick a coin in (metaphorically speaking obviously - I don't put a quid in my wife's vagina and then jump on for the ride). Sweet lovely Belle is no different. Beast gives her a fucking huge library, saves her life from wolf attack following her complete inability to adhere to basic instruction and puts her needs ahead of his own to let her see her father yet if Gaston hadn't have been attacking she wouldn't have gone back thus consigning Beast to an eternity of hairy sweaty arse syndrome - wiping must be an absolute nightmare. Fast forward and she takes one look in his human baby blues and her knickers are around her ankles hosting balls to lord it over the peasants she was previously so derogatory about with her inverted snobbery. Had a talk with the wee lass after - 'if a man fights wolves for you and still lets you leave to find yourself he's a keeper and don't worry about the arbitrary judgement of witches making the SFA look competent as we drowned or burnt them all a few centuries back'. Little Mermaid Two races coming together through the love of two key protagonists whose species had previously completely distrusted each other - really lovely apart from Ariel being a fucking sociopath. How many men does it take to operate a clipper yet because Ariel deemed them too ugly to save they're consigned to Davie Jones locker. Prince Eric back on shore you'd think would be distressed about the families left without a father but nope he's totally consumed only thinking about how he can possibly get a gill-wank now. The remainder of the film is about a medieval world war that can't be solved via the medium of sea-creature dance and which solely arose through Ariel's poor negotiating of a contract. Talk with wee lass - Always seek proper legal advice before entering in to a binding agreement as singing won't avoid payment of damages. Moana Teenage girl, canoe, cute sidekick and a demi-god go on a voyage of discovery in the seas around Papa New Guinea. Can't help feeling that the success of this film is solely down to the backdrop. Teenage girl goes on a voyage of discovery with a long haired heavily tattooed fella in his Vauxhall Vectra and staffy bull terrier in the boot through the streets of Rotherham probably isn't going to achieve the merchandise sales they'd have hoped for. Talk with wee lass - Anyone offers to take you on a voyage of discovery come speak to your dad. Pocahontas Holiday romance causing death of local love interest but bringing two races of people together before John Smith sods off back to blighty leaving her to deal with the repercussions of her father. The true story though was she seemingly loved the white boaby and was off to blighty shortly afterward with another Caucasian leaving her dad to fight them off whilst she toured London as a society zoo animal before dying of pocks, scurvy, rickets and/or dysentery. Talk with wee lass - if you must abandon me to almost certain death please just make sure your shots are up to date and you have taken the relevant travel advice. Incredibles Superman must be spinning in his grave with these selfish fuckers. Bomb Voyage is still at large, Mr Incredible could have just left it and the bank's insurance would have responded but instead he destroys half a city causing untold disruption to commuters then basically says 'och fuck it - I'm off get married'. In the next film the Under-Miner robs a bank, again remit of their insurance, but this time the whole family destroy half the city causing untold disruption to commuters before he escapes and they again basically give a collective shrug then go home. However, superheroes are in danger and these bastards are all over it like a rash seeing it through to the very end. Talk with wee lass - if you do things that are exclusively for your benefit then you're a tory and will need move out at 18. We also have five star defacto house insurance so no need to be a hero if someone breaks in to steal the tele.
  13. Must have dreamt the moaning like absolute bitches when Barca won 7-0; wasn't fair - they pay players x buy players for y - how can we compete. All forgotten though when back to pumping diddy teams in the SPL. Then moaned like absolute bitches when folk pointed out the total lack of self awareness.
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