dandydunn Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 2 minutes ago, Big Ramy 1314 said: For your baby bottle.. Surely the bottle would be in the pram, or maybe a bag? Having a basket on it would be really inconvenient and probably not very accessible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McTeeko Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 1 hour ago, thplinth said: People can say what they will about shit paper. 5 ply all the way. Even if you buy 4 ply you are still a mug. As for those idiots buying 3 ply... Back on thread, I’ve always wondered who decided the size of a sheet of toilet paper. Because who would fuckin just use ONE sheet, ever?!? I’m grabbing at least FOUR sheets, folded, before going in for the wipe. One sheet would just disappear up my ringpiece. One sheet is just nae good for anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiny Tim Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 51 minutes ago, thplinth said: Well between that and the slaughtered lamb post... Some of the shite's been cleared up since the slaughtered lamb post. Still a lot about though 🤔 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redz Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 26 minutes ago, slasher said: Mods lock the thread ffs 🙈 Indeed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killiefaetheferry Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 10 hours ago, bonzo said: Mmmm not sure, but I always love a pint in the Oz bar on the way into the Grassmarket. Love the view 👍 Thanks, but you might want to check with the thread owner before posting pictures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Ramy 1314 Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 23 minutes ago, dandydunn said: Surely the bottle would be in the pram, or maybe a bag? Having a basket on it would be really inconvenient and probably not very accessible. 🤣🤣. Quality Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 14 minutes ago, killiefaetheferry said: Thanks, but you might want to check with the thread owner before posting pictures. I'm sure he'll be fine, he's partial to the odd picture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jailender Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 Fuck's sake, in the long history of the TAMB, this has to be the most tedious thread ever, and none of the posters are coming out of it well !!😕 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farcity Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 9 hours ago, McTeeko said: Back on thread, I’ve always wondered who decided the size of a sheet of toilet paper. Because who would fuckin just use ONE sheet, ever?!? I’m grabbing at least FOUR sheets, folded, before going in for the wipe. One sheet would just disappear up my ringpiece. One sheet is just nae good for anything. You've got to use at least four. Isn't it annoying when you've sat there for a while, thinking you've done the business, you have that smug look on yer face as you feel pretty sure that you've had a clean break before having a courtesy wipe. Then the world collapses. You wipe, you inspect the paper and discover that there is half a shite attached to the bog roll. Where did that come from? Then you frantically reach for more paper, more paper, practically scrubbing until you are able to get somewhere approaching clean. You get it to that stage where there is only a tiny hint of brown on the paper and think fuck it, that will do. You know full well that skidmarks are on the cards on removal of the drawers later in the day, unacceptable but it provides a wee chuckle nonetheless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kumnio Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 Asian bumgun is the way to go, better than toilet paper any day of the week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thplinth Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 (edited) Agreed. And the Japanese are on the pinching edge of jobby clear up technology. The are the NASArse of crapper manufacturers. I have wondered how the wee wand thing would cope with explosive diarrhea but. You know that stuff that defies physics. Edited August 3, 2020 by thplinth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parklife Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 As a man who's anal hygiene routine very much involves the use of multiple wet wipes after a bowel movement, I've always wanted to experience the Japanese robotoilet. A stream of high pressure water aimed directly at the action area both worries and intrigues. Will the jobbie water be splattered everywhere? Will the area be effectively cleaned? Will I need to use paper too? Will the paper become saturated and break up as I try to wipe? Anyone ever used the robotoilet and can advise on the above? So many questions, so little answers around online (top tip: do not google "Asian anal cleaning" on your work PC). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McTeeko Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 2 hours ago, Farcity said: You've got to use at least four. Isn't it annoying when you've sat there for a while, thinking you've done the business, you have that smug look on yer face as you feel pretty sure that you've had a clean break before having a courtesy wipe. Then the world collapses. You wipe, you inspect the paper and discover that there is half a shite attached to the bog roll. Where did that come from? Then you frantically reach for more paper, more paper, practically scrubbing until you are able to get somewhere approaching clean. You get it to that stage where there is only a tiny hint of brown on the paper and think fuck it, that will do. You know full well that skidmarks are on the cards on removal of the drawers later in the day, unacceptable but it provides a wee chuckle nonetheless. Yes. Annoying as fuck. Especially after when you smear the shite around your hole and miss wee bits and they later harden and stick to your arse hair with what seems like industrial strength superglue and the only way to remove them is to snip them off with scissors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phart Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 So reading some of the replies I was thinking about getting a stationary bike for cross training. This seems cheap, also has a lot of positive reviews, anyone got any personal experience? https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ultrasport-Exercise-Training-Computer-Collapsible/dp/B00FZM5WEM/ref=sr_1_5?crid=3LP9RKAOLX9CY&dchild=1&keywords=exercise%2Bbike%2Bfor%2Bhome&qid=1596443062&sprefix=excercise%2B%2Caps%2C156&sr=8-5&th=1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farcity Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 (edited) I love this thread. So handy, these are the wee snippets and handy bits of advice you never seem to get from the usual channels. This is what it's all about. Dangleberries though. Once removed it is virtually impossible to simply toss away, oh no, you've got to roll them around a wee bit, if they are still attached to a hair the temptation to twirl it around like a wee broon helicopter is irresistible. Edited August 3, 2020 by Farcity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McTeeko Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 35 minutes ago, Farcity said: I love this thread. So handy, these are the wee snippets and handy bits of advice you never seem to get from the usual channels. This is what it's all about. Dangleberries though. Once removed it is virtually impossible to simply toss away, oh no, you've got to roll them around a wee bit, if they are still attached to a hair the temptation to twirl it around like a wee broon helicopter is irresistible. Dangleberries - no heard that term for years! Viz was always using that word along with cling-ons and winnits. Viz - what a great comic that was as a teenager growing up. I learned how to pump a lassie by reading Sid the Sexist. I wonder if he’s ever had his hole yet 🤨 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farcity Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 It was indeed, Postman Plod was a favourite of mine. The letters page and top tips were excellent too. Imagine my shock at getting a letter from my doctor advising me I only had a month to live but thankfully the letter was not for me but for my son with the same name who lives with us. Close call, Yours Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kumnio Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 4 hours ago, Parklife said: As a man who's anal hygiene routine very much involves the use of multiple wet wipes after a bowel movement, I've always wanted to experience the Japanese robotoilet. A stream of high pressure water aimed directly at the action area both worries and intrigues. Will the jobbie water be splattered everywhere? Will the area be effectively cleaned? Will I need to use paper too? Will the paper become saturated and break up as I try to wipe? Anyone ever used the robotoilet and can advise on the above? So many questions, so little answers around online (top tip: do not google "Asian anal cleaning" on your work PC). The Japanese experience is, well almost indescribable. Theres more controls than a Sky remote control, a warm dash to let you you prepare, then a splurge of water followed by hot air to dry, all with music being played, even a light show in some toilets. Toilet paper is there if you need it, but you just look at it for what it really is, just shitey paper, no thank you. Definitely the best toilet experience you will have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Ramy 1314 Posted August 3, 2020 Author Share Posted August 3, 2020 I guess the mods are exactly what I thought. They let certain posters do whatevwr the fuck they want , disrespect another posters thread, and do nothing. That's the way this board has gone now. Completely downhill. It's become a joke. Your clubs are all shite btw, and Celtic will still stroll this league again..Good luck fighting relegation.. Hail Hail.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farcity Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 6 minutes ago, Big Ramy 1314 said: I guess the mods are exactly what I thought. They let certain posters do whatevwr the fuck they want , disrespect another posters thread, and do nothing. That's the way this board has gone now. Completely downhill. It's become a joke. Your clubs are all shite btw, and Celtic will still stroll this league again..Good luck fighting relegation.. Hail Hail.. Don't feel sad Ramy, all this talk of shite and arseholes is with you firmly in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairbairn Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 On 8/2/2020 at 9:08 AM, Fairbairn said: If you’re going to call someone an idiot you probably want to make sure you use the correct grammar. I’d also be interested to see what examples you have of McCoist being bigoted? Ramy, I might have missed it among all the Japanese bog chat but did you manage to dig out those examples of McCoist being bigoted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 17 minutes ago, Farcity said: Don't feel sad Ramy, all this talk of shite and arseholes is with you firmly in mind. 😂😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RDFH64 Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 26 minutes ago, Big Ramy 1314 said: I guess the mods are exactly what I thought. They let certain posters do whatevwr the fuck they want , disrespect another posters thread, and do nothing. That's the way this board has gone now. Completely downhill. It's become a joke. Your clubs are all shite btw, and Celtic will still stroll this league again..Good luck fighting relegation.. Hail Hail.. NO you RH & big Ron are the reason, wake up & smell the coffee ffs 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parklife Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 25 minutes ago, Big Ramy 1314 said: I guess the mods are exactly what I thought. They let certain posters do whatevwr the fuck they want , disrespect another posters thread, and do nothing. Like you and your tediously dull mate RH spamming every thread with inane post and inane post? 25 minutes ago, Big Ramy 1314 said: That's the way this board has gone now. Completely downhill. I'd say the "downhill" descent is directly related to your posting. 25 minutes ago, Big Ramy 1314 said: It's become a joke. Your clubs are all shite btw, and Celtic will still stroll this league again..Good luck fighting relegation.. Hail Hail.. Every team is shite apart from Celtic? Weird that you'd take enjoyment at glory hunting a team who can only beat "shite" teams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farcity Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 Just now, RDFH64 said: NO you RH & big Ron are the reason, wake up & smell the coffee ffs 👍 Exactly, coming fae the biggest mudslinger on here tae. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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