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Mr Tidy and I were watching the assassination of Gianni Versace last night. The bloke who assassinated him had killed a few people before him but the FBI only seemed to ‘up’ the investigation when a VIP was killed. 

When the episode finished, and after 3 bottles of lager and 3 cans of McEwans Export, Mr Tidy jumped off the sofa and shouted loudly  ‘Right !  I’m off to assassinate a celebrity ! ‘ . 

Unimpressed,  but feeling I should at least feign some interest in his project,  I asked who he intended assassinating. 

‘WILLIE COLLUM !! he screeched enthusiastically.  

😕 he’s hardly a VIP  but my question to all of you is , which celebrity/vip would you assassinate given the chance? I am of course meaning hypothetically ....

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Huddersfield said:

If you line Sting & Bono up correctly & get a high enough powered rifle, could you get a BOGOF deal on the two of them?

A popular choice no doubt and who could resist such a BOGOF offer.

I would still however happily provide a stool to ensure Katie Hopkins’ head and shoulders were above them. 

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James Fucking Corden. 
There’s a reason he’s a success now in Yanksville. Childish humour we all chuckled at when we were 12.

Edited by WCTA

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23 minutes ago, WCTA said:

James Fucking Corden. 
There’s a reason he’s a success now in Yanksville. Childish humour we all chuckled at when we were 12.

Hey, fuck off. I enjoy childish humour but james Corden is a prick 

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4 hours ago, Huddersfield said:

If you line Sting & Bono up correctly & get a high enough powered rifle, could you get a BOGOF deal on the two of them?

image.jpeg.0347068eeec85294ddde2653f4cf0306.jpeg I believe this may be what sir requires. 

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Piers Morgan or Ronaldo. I'll borrow the above cannon when huddersfield is done with bono and sting

 

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Corden would be high on the list - tops probs Beckham , Clare Balding, Vanessa Feltz , Bojo, John Motson, Glenn Hoddle, the cast of the Made in Chelsea and the Only Way is Essex  -especially that big fat ugly  munter - in fact anyone from Essex full stop. 

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1 hour ago, Mark frae Crieff said:

image.jpeg.0347068eeec85294ddde2653f4cf0306.jpeg I believe this may be what sir requires. 

That wouldn't even scrape Katie Hopkins thick skin.

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1 hour ago, vanderark14 said:

Piers Morgan or Ronaldo. I'll borrow the above cannon when huddersfield is done with bono and sting

 

In my Fantasy Assassin League, those 2 would be the ‘BOG2F deal of the day ‘ along with Ms Hopkins. 

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1 hour ago, phart said:

Tony Blair.

Ah, the perfect revenge. To assassinate  the original silent assassin.  

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1 hour ago, irnbruman said:

Corden would be high on the list - tops probs Beckham , Clare Balding, Vanessa Feltz , Bojo, John Motson, Glenn Hoddle, the cast of the Made in Chelsea and the Only Way is Essex  -especially that big fat ugly  munter - in fact anyone from Essex full stop. 

😂😂 you are gonna need a bigger gun ! 

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1 hour ago, vanderark14 said:

Piers Morgan or Ronaldo. I'll borrow the above cannon when huddersfield is done with bono and sting

Jeez,  in a wee dyslexic moment I thought I was getting it 🥺

 

 

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2 hours ago, irnbruman said:

Corden would be high on the list - tops probs Beckham , Clare Balding, Vanessa Feltz , Bojo, John Motson, Glenn Hoddle, the cast of the Made in Chelsea and the Only Way is Essex  -especially that big fat ugly  munter - in fact anyone from Essex full stop. 

Great list IBman, but why do you watch those programmes? :-))

2 hours ago, ger intae them said:

Cordon’s an absolute defo...... and never ever watch strictly come dancing, but that plastic surgery’d clown off it would get the high caliber two for one special.

Aye right! :-))

 

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My list is interchangeable but currently front and centre would be (1) Piers Morgan (obviously), (2) that annoying weather wummin off stv news (Laura Tobin I think) and (3) that insufferable SAS wank Ant Middleton, although I accept assassinating him might prove a bit tricky 🤔 

I would also quite happily attack Jo 'I'm a mother to two young children' Swinson and that camp idiot who presents Sportscene results! 🤐

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I’d like to nominate Jo Swinson, death by driving off a cliff. Oops, unfortunately she was driving a bus filled with Lib Dem MPs, obviously including former cunts as the current cunt list wouldn’t fill a minibus. All that’s left is her gap toothed jaw, or is that Willie Rennie, who knows, who cares. 

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4 minutes ago, kumnio said:

I’d like to nominate Jo Swinson, death by driving off a cliff. Oops, unfortunately she was driving a bus filled with Lib Dem MPs, obviously including former cunts as the current cunt list wouldn’t fill a minibus. All that’s left is her gap toothed jaw, or is that Willie Rennie, who knows, who cares. 

I’ve been wondering how long it would take you to notice this thread. 😂

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I can’t be bothered making another username, but I want another go. My nominee is Owen Jones, I find him to be beneath contempt, a truly insidious  horrible two faced lying bastard, with absolutely no redeeming features. He damages the left by simply existing, I doubt he has ever done any good in his life. 
 

He is literally the last person on earth that you’d go to the pub with, there are racist, homophobic sexists that come above him, Milo Y for example, I disagree with everything about him, but he still comes across better than perennial victim Owen, and he’d be a laugh with a few pints. 

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14 minutes ago, WCTA said:

I’ve been wondering how long it would take you to notice this thread. 😂

I could write a cuntsaurus on this topic, whittling it down to even the last hundred would be hard. 

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