ErsatzThistle

Two predictions from me. 1) Tierney isn't sold at all and spends most if not all of next season out injured. 2) Luca Connell, the £350,000 signing from Bolton, proves to be more useful to Celtic than those other signings they have made.

How have you enjoyed this year's marching season with your local lodge RH ? Ever year that goes by there seem to be less and less of you. None of you are getting any younger either and doesn't look like many kids are interested in joining up these days. That makes me smile.

Berti Vogts used the song to help him pick his squads. One Crawford, two Crawford, three Stevie Crawford, Four Kyle, five Kyle, six Kevin Kyle, Seven Thompson, eight Thompson, nine Steven Thompson, Heeeeey Robbie Stockdale !

It looks like you've got one now. Hatem Abd Elhamed - Hapoel Be'er Sheva and Israel right back. No fee mentioned.

Compulsive masturbation and Dundee Utd's eventual return to the Scottish Premiership are a much bigger threat to society than drugs, sugar or alcohol.

Is he fully committed to Scotland ?

You've honestly never heard of Liam Brady and Lou Macari's spells in charge of Celtic during the early 1990s ?

"But we get tae catch wir ain fish again !" That's why ahm voting Tory !" - Jimmy Dumbfuck from Peterhead. "I want my auld lightbulbs back. #BJ4PM" - Sheila Crapper from Stirling "PM Johnson should send the army in against the SNP NOW !!!!!" - Prof. Jill Batshit PhD from Edinburgh "Boris is our opponent. Not our enemy" - Duncan Afterbirth from Edinburgh

This might just be my weird tastebuds but I don't think that the new recipe tastes that bad as long as you have it in a glass with plenty of ice. That might just be me though. Who else would be willing to pay a wee bit more for a can if they brought back the old recipe as "Irn-Bru Classic" or something like that ? I would.

Out of interest, which players do you consider "the shite" to be ?

Are Hastie and Middleton going to be first team players for the season ahead ? Or is it more likely that one or both of them will be loaned out ?

Leigh Griffiths on in the eighty first minute. He's back

Nah, I chose porn instead.

To quote Ned Flanders "I hate to be a fussy freddy and all but ...." Burnley have actually managed to qualify for Europe before 2018. As 1959-1960 champions of England, they played in the 1960-61 European Cup. They subsequently played in the 1966-67 Inter-Cities Fairs Cup.

I'm afraid that some people are just never happy unless they are pissing all over everyone else's chips and generally being a miserable feckin buzzkill.