ErsatzThistle Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 At the back of the house there's a chap (about 35-45) wearing an ancient tracksuit currently screaming mental abuse at someone on the other end of his mobile, stamping his feet on the pavement and banging his fists off the fence. What should I do ? Should I phone the polis or something ? Or just let him "burn it out" ? There's no feckin way in hell I'm going out to speak to him, he looks mad and handy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 20 minutes ago, ErsatzThistle said: At the back of the house there's a chap (about 35-45) wearing an ancient tracksuit currently screaming mental abuse at someone on the other end of his mobile, stamping his feet on the pavement and banging his fists off the fence. What should I do ? Should I phone the polis or something ? Or just let him "burn it out" ? There's no feckin way in hell I'm going out to speak to him, he looks mad and handy. Video it on your mobile and stop pissing about on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotland Ever More Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 Stab him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest faircity Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 It's Macy and he's standing there waiting on his evidence. He is merely stamping his feet to keep warm, it's chilly out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phart Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 13 minutes ago, Scotland Ever More said: Stab him I was going to say if you ever wanted to kill someone now is the ideal time. Big radger shouting, you innocently ask him to calm down he attacks you, you bury a kitchen knife in him. Self Defence everyone heard him shouting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThistleWhistle Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 If his shell suit has a picture of Darth Vader on the front the fella posts on here so you could pm him to stop being a bam. Elsewise don't stab him as its clichéd - have you access to a ten inch rubber penis to club him with? Couple of years in a mental hospital wing would be all you'd get then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Ramy 1314 Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 Is he bilingual by chance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThistleWhistle Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 You could check if he's from Quebec by shouting 'mange mon gode!' prior to striking him with the rubber cock if you wanted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phart Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 44 minutes ago, ThistleWhistle said: If his shell suit has a picture of Darth Vader on the front the fella posts on here so you could pm him to stop being a bam. Elsewise don't stab him as its clichéd - have you access to a ten inch rubber penis to club him with? Couple of years in a mental hospital wing would be all you'd get then. Good point I was so focused on the chance to murder someone I didn't take the time to think about how cliched a stabbing would be. He could asphyxiate him with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exile Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 (edited) It must be the arse-end of the new year holiday, parliament in recess, and football winter break. Just a few short degrees of slippery separation from phone rage to bilingually aggravated murder by dildo. Edited January 6, 2019 by exile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 10 minutes ago, exile said: It must be the arse-end of the new year holiday, parliament in recess, and football winter break. Just a few short degrees of slippery separation from phone rage to bilingually aggravated murder by dildo. Really don't know what version of cluedo you got for Christmas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cove_Sheep Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 1 hour ago, Big Ramy 1314 said: Is he bilingual by chance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErsatzThistle Posted January 6, 2019 Author Share Posted January 6, 2019 (edited) 21 minutes ago, bonzo said: Really don't know what version of cluedo you got for Christmas? The special limited edition Tartan Army Message Board version. I want to know who the characters are ! *Mrs Ormond, Colonel Parklife, Miss DoonTheSlope, Professor Squirrelhumper, Miss TDYER63 & Reverend Orraloon perhaps ? The weapons being a fitba, a ginger bottle, a ceramic statue of Barry Ferguson, an XL 2007 maroon away strip, a framed signed photo of Craig Levein & by popular request a large dildo. Whodunnit ? *No offence meant to anyone named Edited January 6, 2019 by ErsatzThistle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisInAKilt Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 Ask him what his username is? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exile Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 1 hour ago, ErsatzThistle said: The special limited edition Tartan Army Message Board version. I want to know who the characters are ! *Mrs Ormond, Colonel Parklife, Miss DoonTheSlope, Professor Squirrelhumper, Miss TDYER63 & Reverend Orraloon perhaps ? The weapons being a fitba, a ginger bottle, a ceramic statue of Barry Ferguson, an XL 2007 maroon away strip, a framed signed photo of Craig Levein & by popular request a large dildo. Whodunnit ? *No offence meant to anyone named Perhaps death by Glengarry feather? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McDange Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 Was it a proper old school shell suit in a suitably offensive high visibility colour? The uniform of choice in Edinburgh for the less desirable types seems to be the grey hoodie / cotton joggies combo. So vanilla. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErsatzThistle Posted January 7, 2019 Author Share Posted January 7, 2019 (edited) 8 minutes ago, McDange said: Was it a proper old school shell suit in a suitably offensive high visibility colour? The uniform of choice in Edinburgh for the less desirable types seems to be the grey hoodie / cotton joggies combo. So vanilla. Oh it was a proper old school eighties/nineties tracksuit with red and white stripes (colours faded though) going all ower the place. A real collectors item. Edited January 7, 2019 by ErsatzThistle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-Man Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 If there were big bite marks on the suit and the knees ripped to fuck on broken glass then I could hazard a guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Ramy 1314 Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 2 hours ago, G-Man said: If there were big bite marks on the suit and the knees ripped to fuck on broken glass then I could hazard a guess. 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Guilty as charged. 😃 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 Does he have a perm and a large moustache? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 1 hour ago, wheres the pies said: Does he have a perm and a large moustache? Calm down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 32 minutes ago, bonzo said: Calm down. 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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