Flora MaDonald Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Right, I wasn't going to post this, but I feel it may do me some good, as I have some dear friends on here. I am an alcoholic. I had a lovely evening in the Royal Infirmary in Glasgow, due to me falling and cracking my skull. As I write this, I am drinking whisky, which I know shall not be my last. My mum forked out thousands for me in the Priory, and I've slapped her on the face. I tried to drown myself in Lake Garda. Ach, I don't know where I'm going with this post, but I'm not half the man I used to be. 41, no wife, no kids, no job, nowhere to run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EddardStark Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Jesus Flora. You are going through it mate. You have admitted that you are an alcoholic which is a start . Clearly your mum loves you so you need to give her faith that you will let her in. There are plenty of people out there that will help you but you need to do your bit. btw the way Lake Garda is a fantastic location and hopefully you will go back there under better circumstances. All the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scunnered Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 I have no advice to give as I've no experience on the subject, but with most things they do say that admitting you have a problem is the hardest thing to do, and that's true. If you ever need an ear or just someone to vent to, feel free to drop me a message. You're among friends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flora MaDonald Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 Jesus Flora. You are going through it mate. You have admitted that you are an alcoholic which is a start . Clearly your mum loves you so you need to give her faith that you will let her in. There are plenty of people out there that will help you but you need to do your bit. btw the way Lake Garda is a fantastic location and hopefully you will go back there under better circumstances. All the best. Cheers, Eddard. Greatly appreciated. We may have had our differences over fitba teams, but the good guys always come to the top. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flora MaDonald Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 I have no advice to give as I've no experience on the subject, but with most things they do say that admitting you have a problem is the hardest thing to do, and that's true. If you ever need an ear or just someone to vent to, feel free to drop me a message. You're among friends Top man as ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TartanJon Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Send me your new number G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thplinth Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Maybe have a browse of this Flora... http://allencarr.com/29/easy-way-to-control-alcohol It is a different perspective to the one you will have been told I expect. Cost you a tenner or less and you never know it might work. Personally I don't believe there is any such thing as an alcoholic or a disease called alcoholism just as there is no disease called cocaineism or herionism of nicotineism... (I don't wish to annoy anyone on here, just my view.) Try it, it is refreshing outlook. Hope your luck turns around soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairbairn Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 just as there is no disease called cocaineism or herionism of nicotineism There is, it's called addiction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thplinth Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 (edited) They do seminars as well. You'd have to travel for one but they are so successful they offer a full money back guarantee. http://www.allencarrseasyway.co.uk/mall/productpage.cfm/AllenCarr/_Alcohol/-/Alcohol%20Seminars%20-%20Helping%20you%20to%20stop%20drinking "Based on the 3 month money back guarantee the success rate is over 90%." Edited March 13, 2015 by thplinth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasgowmancity Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Right, I wasn't going to post this, but I feel it may do me some good, as I have some dear friends on here. I am an alcoholic. I had a lovely evening in the Royal Infirmary in Glasgow, due to me falling and cracking my skull. As I write this, I am drinking whisky, which I know shall not be my last. My mum forked out thousands for me in the Priory, and I've slapped her on the face. I tried to drown myself in Lake Garda. Ach, I don't know where I'm going with this post, but I'm not half the man I used to be. 41, no wife, no kids, no job, nowhere to run. Sorry to hear this. The fact you have no wife or kids at 41 isn't necessarily a negative, there's plenty people in that situation these days whether through career choice, divorce, personal choice or many different reasons, so don't beat yourself up over it. It sounds cliche, but it's true, you need to battle any addiction 1 day at a time - don't look on it as I'll never drink again, but more I'll not drink today. You can beat it & you will beat it but, and there's no point denying it, it will be tough. Make sure that any close friends know your situation & that will help you through. Good luck & I hope it all works out for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillinger Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 My dad gave it up cold turkey nearly ten years ago and it was one of the best things he ever did. Still struggles occasionally, but the hardest step is the first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flora MaDonald Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 Cheers, lads. It means a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weekevie04 Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 You're a brave man, Flora. They always say the first step is acknowledging you may have an issue. 41, nae wife, bairns nor job is nothing to feel bad about. Unemployment can lead the sturdiest soul up some dark paths. I remember you had an interview in Aberdeen for a council gig - so even if that job didn't go your way, you will find a job and some luck will come your way in the job front. You are intilligent, funny, clever and a good sport on here, I bet you do likewise on application forms. It can be soul destroying at times filling in application form after the other. And anyway, all that can come once you feel better. Don't know much about the AA process, but there's a radio station that plays AA interviews/meetings throughout the day/night and I listen in occasionally - it's very interesting to hear the stories. One huge thing they tend to always say is that 'it's one day at a time' and focus on getting through the day. Is the alcohol a crutch to help you break up the mundane days of doing nothing? I spent a few years back about 4-5 months straight on the dole and it was a awful experience. Seeing friends, family all working, succesful and feeling like absolute shite the times you'd meet them or their parents, cousins and that 2nd question after How's it going was always 'Where you working these days?'. Everyone is different, but I took up a lot of running, cycling, jogging, when I was unemployed to help pass the day and it would give me a bit of a boost (sereatonin) after being out. This is a bit all over the place, but take care, and you're always welcome to message me. Anyhoos, I thought about deleting this as it's all over the place a bit, but I am not, as although I don't know you well. People do care and please take care of yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thplinth Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Right, I wasn't going to post this, but I feel it may do me some good, as I have some dear friends on here. I am an alcoholic. I had a lovely evening in the Royal Infirmary in Glasgow, due to me falling and cracking my skull. As I write this, I am drinking whisky, which I know shall not be my last. My mum forked out thousands for me in the Priory, and I've slapped her on the face. I tried to drown myself in Lake Garda. Ach, I don't know where I'm going with this post, but I'm not half the man I used to be. 41, no wife, no kids, no job, nowhere to run. Don't underestimate how stressful this is having no job especially as you get passed 35. Men especially find it very stressful and it is a leading cause of suicide. So cut yourself a wee break as well during this time. It is probably why you are drinking too much. It is really not easy finding work once you are 35+ and you will be under a huge amount of internal and external pressure whether you are aware of it of not. Make sure you establish some structure in your life while job hunting. Spend a bit of time job hunting each day but also take advantage of your freedom and get a bit of exercise as well. If you keep chipping away your luck will turn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenfrewBlue Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Both my parents died alcoholics and you don't want that, trust me on this. My father-in-law had been a non-performing alcoholic for over 15 years now but it was a hard road. The guys are right, admitting the problem is the first step and wanting to change comes next. Please go to an AA meeting. They are good people and they will help you. It won't be easy but you can do it. I'm sure your Mum would help you again in any way she can. You just need to keep trying. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Col Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 I would also focus on the no job part of your situation. With no job you have no routine so it's very easy to fall into bad habits. Even if you are struggling to find employment is there any volunteer work you can do or any local groups or clubs you can join? Anything to get some sort of daily routine (that doesn't involve drink) back in your life is my advice. I've been made redundant 4 times now and the first time I took it hard. The weeks of unemployment turned into months. I turned into an alcoholic vampire - sleep all day, sit up all night drinking and watching crap tv. Ended up taking a crap job on minimum wage but in that job I made the connections that lead to the better job I'm in today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flora MaDonald Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 This is the life and times of an alccy: Raid your mother's drawer for whisky (because she's hidden it). Play your guitar / piano or golf (if capable). Watch the Wright Stuff, greet about independence, phone pals from Italy (who are sick of me), and then try and get a job. Good, eh? I can honestly say, this board at times really ups the game. Thanks, boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbcmfc Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Getting out and doing something other than sitting in drinking or going to the boozer would probably help. If only those bastards hadn't stolen your golf clubs! Kidding aside, I hope you can get the help you need. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisInAKilt Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 As everyone has said, admitting you have a problem, not just on here but to yourself is the first step to beating the addiction. There's a lot of options for help out there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cove_Sheep Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 A brave thread! Positive first step and all that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tartandon Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Flora As others have said, You've made a brave first step by acknowledging you have a problem. Addiction is horrible, and I've suffered with addiction over the years. So I know that the pattern can be destructive. Help is available and I know that asking for help is horrible. Don't punish yourself for previous failed starts. You know you have a problem and you know that you want some kind of help. The key is finding the method of recovery that will help you. AA may be the thing that helps you, but equally it may not be the type of thing that will help you. But if you've tried AA and it didn't work for you, that doesn't mean that there's not something that will help you. You tried to end it all in Lake Garda. I tried to end it with pills. But we both have lived on since then. So there must be something to live for. Have you been to see your GP? They may be able to put you in contact with support groups who can help you in your road to recovery. You've reached out to us as a group and we're here to offer any support and advice we can. The important thing is that you were motivated to post your message. I wish you all the best. Things that go on in the mind, and chemical imbalances, can have an awful impact, arguably more than some 'visible' physical injuries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flora MaDonald Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 Flora As others have said, You've made a brave first step by acknowledging you have a problem. Addiction is horrible, and I've suffered with addiction over the years. So I know that the pattern can be destructive. Help is available and I know that asking for help is horrible. Don't punish yourself for previous failed starts. You know you have a problem and you know that you want some kind of help. The key is finding the method of recovery that will help you. AA may be the thing that helps you, but equally it may not be the type of thing that will help you. But if you've tried AA and it didn't work for you, that doesn't mean that there's not something that will help you. You tried to end it all in Lake Garda. I tried to end it with pills. But we both have lived on since then. So there must be something to live for. Have you been to see your GP? They may be able to put you in contact with support groups who can help you in your road to recovery. You've reached out to us as a group and we're here to offer any support and advice we can. The important thing is that you were motivated to post your message. I wish you all the best. Things that go on in the mind, and chemical imbalances, can have an awful impact, arguably more than some 'visible' physical injuries. Firstly, thanks for a great post. Appreciated. Yeah, tried AA, and fell out with them. I should explain, my Dad died when I was 2, and I would do anything for my mum. Only child, great musician and sportsman. I had to win at all cost. When I lost anything, my mum would skelp me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasgowmancity Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Yeah, tried AA, and fell out with them. Possibly try another meeting rather than going back to the one you fell out with. I think there is quite a few around Glasgow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotlad Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Really sorry to hear that you are through the mill at the moment Flora. I was unemployed too for a while; only 3 months but it felt much, much longer and man, it was grim. Eventually I found a job ... and heaven knows I'm miserable now! Sometimes though even a pishy 'stop gap' job can bring you out of yourself - gets you back into a routine, gets you meeting and engaging with people etc. No situation lasts forever though and every situation can be improved. I agree with Tartandon - have a word with your GP. All the best, bud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TartanTeddy Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 (edited) Start with the positives - you could be a Rangers fan!! Having acknowledged the problem, now take the second step and go sit with some people who can provide advice, give support and offer a shoulder when required. AA seem to be the right people and you'll be amongst folk who have and are facing the same situation, that has to be a positive. It's a steep hill but getting people around you who can help is definitely the first step, and it's a sign of strength to go out and make a fresh start. Beyond that I would agree with everything above, get a routine that gets you up and out of bed in the morning. Take exercise - see this as a chance to get fit. Consider volunteering, there are plenty organisations out there and there will be something that will keep you mentally challenged. And keep plugging away looking to get yourself some work - even a few days a week helps rebuild your CV and demonstrates to future employers that you have drive and determination. It's not easy, and there will probably be setbacks but everyone has the strength within them to get back on their feet - you just have to remember to keep taking the next step forward! TT Edited March 13, 2015 by TartanTeddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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