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King Charles - Diagnosed with cancer


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50 minutes ago, The Black Bra said:

One of my mates had a camera up his knob recently, sounded horrific. He says he actually shouted ‘fuckin hell’ as they were doing it.

I had that done a few years back, certainly brought tears to my eyes & when they asked if I wanted to see the live stream of my inner workings I politely declined 😵‍💫

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58 minutes ago, The Black Bra said:

One of my mates had a camera up his knob recently, sounded horrific. He says he actually shouted ‘fuckin hell’ as they were doing it.

I had that done a few months ago.  Not as bad as it sounds actually.  However after the procedure, the first time you go for a pish it stings like fuck - far worse than the procedure itself.  Can't actually remember what they were looking for but apparently the inside of my bladder is is excellent condition, which I attribute to preserving it in alcohol.  The live video was a wee bonus.

Edited by Alibi
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31 minutes ago, Alibi said:

I had that done a few months ago.  Not as bad as it sounds actually.  However after the procedure, the first time you go for a pish it stings like fuck - far worse than the procedure itself.  Can't actually remember what they were looking for but apparently the inside of my bladder is is excellent condition, which I attribute to preserving it in alcohol.  The live video was a wee bonus.

Did you wait 80 weeks to see a Urologist ?

That's the waiting time in South Lanarkshire ... ( unless they suspect cancer i guess)

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1 hour ago, RDFH64 said:

I had that done a few years back, certainly brought tears to my eyes & when they asked if I wanted to see the live stream of my inner workings I politely declined 😵‍💫

Had this done when Craig Levein was Scotland manager, the nurse noticed my tattoos and we had a conversation about him (Levein) being a cunt during the procedure. Totally forgot about the tube being inserted inside little Dan and spent 10 minutes getting angry about Prague, left the room relatively stress free about the Cystoscomy but ragging about the speccy hertz prick 😡

Edited by dan cake
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42 minutes ago, dan cake said:

Had this done when Craig Levein was Scotland manager, the nurse noticed my tattoos and we had a conversation about him (Levein) being a cunt during the procedure. Totally forgot about the tube being inserted inside little Dan and spent 10 minutes getting angry about Prague, left the room relatively stress free about the Cystoscomy but ragging about the speccy hertz prick 😡

That was my 1st away game, paid £125 for a ticket after numerous warnings from SFA that there wouldn’t be any tickets sold at the ground, seen people walking up and pay about €12 for tickets 😡, the camera up the tadger was less painful that watching Leveins shocking tactics, on topic Leveins the biggest most arrogant prick going 🤬

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What are people getting up to that they need to get cameras up shoved up their cocks?

I’ve still got a few years to go before Im at the age where I’ll have to get a finger up the auld balloon knot and my arse makes buttons just at the thought of that. It makes me wince when I wipe too deep!

The only solace I’ve got is there’s enough gays and open minded wimmen in the world that take it up trap 2 so it’s obviously not that bad but

Up the japs eye? That’s a new one on me 😥

Edited by DoonTheSlope
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12 minutes ago, DoonTheSlope said:

What are people getting up to that they need to get cameras up shoved up their cocks?

I have a narrowing of my urethra therefore had to get my pish canal inflated, so have had a camera into my bladder a few times.

It's uncomfortable, especially when they have to force if past your prostate. On the plus side you get to see the insides of your boaby on the telly. It's real box office stuff. I should have won an oscar for my performance.

I also have to self-catheterise every week, which involves ramming a long plastic tube up my japseye and into my bladder. No big deal. It's amazing what you can get used to!

 

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20 minutes ago, DoonTheSlope said:

What are people getting up to that they need to get cameras up shoved up their cocks?

I’ve still got a few years to go before Im at the age where I’ll have to get a finger up the auld balloon knot and my arse makes buttons just at the thought of that. It makes me wince when I wipe too deep!

The only solace I’ve got is there’s enough gays and open minded wimmen in the world that take it up trap 2 so it’s obviously not that bad but

Up the japs eye? That’s a new one on me 😥

If you show blood in your urine it’s one of the checks to see if there’s an internal problem.

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Mate of mine had a similar procedure except up the back passage when he accidentally swallowed his glass eye, doctor said to him “I  can’t see anything”, to which he replied “funny that, I can see you”.

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6 minutes ago, Dave78 said:

I have a narrowing of my urethra therefore had to get my pish canal inflated, so have had a camera into my bladder a few times.

It's uncomfortable, especially when they have to force if past your prostate. On the plus side you get to see the insides of your boaby on the telly. It's real box office stuff. I should have won an oscar for my performance.

I also have to self-catheterise every week, which involves ramming a long plastic tube up my japseye and into my bladder. No big deal. It's amazing what you can get used to!

 

😱 ( and I am not even a bloke) 

The TAMB Braveheart award goes to ….

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42 minutes ago, Broath Boy said:

Mate of mine had a similar procedure except up the back passage when he accidentally swallowed his glass eye, doctor said to him “I  can’t see anything”, to which he replied “funny that, I can see you”.

How did we get far japs eye to glass eye 🤪

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45 minutes ago, TDYER63 said:

😱 ( and I am not even a bloke) 

The TAMB Braveheart award goes to ….

I had a genuine panic attack (couldn't breathe, only calmed down when my missus gave me a plastic bag to blow into) when i first tried (and failed) to self-cathererise. Now though i do it easily no bother. Like i said, it's mental what you can get used to

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1 hour ago, Dave78 said:

I have a narrowing of my urethra therefore had to get my pish canal inflated, so have had a camera into my bladder a few times.

It's uncomfortable, especially when they have to force if past your prostate. On the plus side you get to see the insides of your boaby on the telly. It's real box office stuff. I should have won an oscar for my performance.

I also have to self-catheterise every week, which involves ramming a long plastic tube up my japseye and into my bladder. No big deal. It's amazing what you can get used to!

 

Better in than oot?

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28 minutes ago, Dave78 said:

I had a genuine panic attack (couldn't breathe, only calmed down when my missus gave me a plastic bag to blow into) when i first tried (and failed) to self-cathererise. Now though i do it easily no bother. Like i said, it's mental what you can get used to

My husband almost had a panic attack when I read out your post  . He literally walked out the room shouting ‘stop stop’ when I got to the second paragraph ,  never mind the DIY procedure . 

That cannot have been easy for your wife to watch either , though easier than having to do it for you ! 😱

 

 

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1 hour ago, Dave78 said:

I had a genuine panic attack (couldn't breathe, only calmed down when my missus gave me a plastic bag to blow into) when i first tried (and failed) to self-cathererise. Now though i do it easily no bother. Like i said, it's mental what you can get used to

got handed a stress ball when I was getting my eyes lasered, it didn’t hurt but the smell of my eyeball burning is something I’ll never forget 

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Just now, dan cake said:

got handed a stress ball when I was getting my eyes lasered, it didn’t hurt but the smell of my eyeball burning is something I’ll never forget 

Was 20 years ago when i got mine done and i was offered valium beforehand

I declined and acted the big bravey ...

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3 minutes ago, dan cake said:

got handed a stress ball when I was getting my eyes lasered, it didn’t hurt but the smell of my eyeball burning is something I’ll never forget 

Same! The smell of burning flesh is... unique.

 

1 minute ago, Ally Bongo said:

Was 20 years ago when i got mine done and i was offered valium beforehand

I declined and acted the big bravey ...

I declined the anesthetic because i wanted to drive home when i had an endoscopy (camera down your throat into your stomach) around 20 years ago. Big mistake

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12 minutes ago, Ally Bongo said:

Was 20 years ago when i got mine done and i was offered valium beforehand

I declined and acted the big bravey ...

They waited till afterwards to tell me it was a new team of “technicians” and it was their first procedure without supervision! 

Edited by dan cake
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5 hours ago, The Black Bra said:

One of my mates had a camera up his knob recently, sounded horrific. He says he actually shouted ‘fuckin hell’ as they were doing it.

I've had it as well, not painful but extremely uncomfortable. 

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3 hours ago, Ally Bongo said:

Was 20 years ago when i got mine done and i was offered valium beforehand

I declined and acted the big bravey ...

I once got a filling without anaesthetic. I thought I’d had one when I was wee but couldn’t remember getting an injection. I found out from my mum later on that it wasn’t a filling I’d had

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I feel like I'm in the minority on here now for not yet having a camera up my knob.   So, I will try to just man up next time I'm getting my teeth polished.

I did work with a guy/a friend who never took anaesthetic at the dentist, but he was probably the weirdo Bill Murray riffed in Little Shop of Horrors 😋

 

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4 minutes ago, Grim Jim said:

I feel like I'm in the minority on here now for not yet having a camera up my knob.   So, I will try to just man up next time I'm getting my teeth polished.

I did work with a guy/a friend who never took anaesthetic at the dentist, but he was probably the weirdo Bill Murray riffed in Little Shop of Horrors 😋

 

Things seem to get more nerve-wracking as you get older. More awareness of what can happen and increased capacity for overthinking perhaps...I didn't mind the dentist in the past but on last 2 occasions for some procedure I've had a bit of funny turn afterwards. The dentist said it was the adrenalin. Had a tooth out that was giving me ulcers and it was around Halloween so the dentist reception had decorations up...including me sitting afterwards looking like a grey corpse in the corner 😅 A family came in and I tried to look relaxed so the kids wouldn’t freak out about visiting the place. 

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