phart Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 3 weeks is crazy. I took immodium over a weekend at a festival in 2001, left Friday didn't get home till Monday. Ate and drank shit loads no need to shite. It was the year Goran Ivanišević played Pat Rafter on a Monday final at Wimbledon cause of shite weather. I went into toilet at start of 2nd set and didn't emerge till halfway through 4th set, was fucking brutal, was thinking i'd have to try and break it up with a knitting needle to try and get it out. All weekend I was thinking about how smart i was to take immodium and not have to worry about the state of the bogs. Not pleasant at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 28 minutes ago, phart said: 3 weeks is crazy. I took immodium over a weekend at a festival in 2001, left Friday didn't get home till Monday. Ate and drank shit loads no need to shite. It was the year Goran Ivanišević played Pat Rafter on a Monday final at Wimbledon cause of shite weather. I went into toilet at start of 2nd set and didn't emerge till halfway through 4th set, was fucking brutal, was thinking i'd have to try and break it up with a knitting needle to try and get it out. All weekend I was thinking about how smart i was to take immodium and not have to worry about the state of the bogs. Not pleasant at all. The state of festival bogs is the least of your worries when you’re going home to destroy your own one 😂 But for what it’s worth I agree with you, that’s what I always did for T In The Park and big stadium gigs, my wife had to use a portaloo at hampden at The Stone Roses and the look on her face when she came out will live with me forever 😂😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Ramy 1314 Posted August 4, 2020 Author Share Posted August 4, 2020 42 minutes ago, dandydunn said: No. Still here. I see your obsession with me is still on going. Can you please stop referring to me, it’s a football thread, your hard in for me is not wanted here. I may have to report you for harassment if you don’t. Still at the bingo then. Aye ok then.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thplinth Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 People talk about eating disorders but I think shit disorders are as bad. The bogs in my school growing up were on a par with the trainspotting toilet. With those absurd micro sheets of greased proof toilet paper. If you were lucky. Anyone remember that stuff. You just learned to hold it in. Very occasionally if it was a Haribo sugar free situation I’d do it but only if my arse was holding a gun to my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 22 minutes ago, thplinth said: People talk about eating disorders but I think shit disorders are as bad. The bogs in my school growing up were on a par with the trainspotting toilet. With those absurd micro sheets of greased proof toilet paper. If you were lucky. Anyone remember that stuff. You just learned to hold it in. Very occasionally if it was a Haribo sugar free situation I’d do it but only if my arse was holding a gun to my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 1 hour ago, phart said: 3 weeks is crazy. I took immodium over a weekend at a festival in 2001, left Friday didn't get home till Monday. Ate and drank shit loads no need to shite. It was the year Goran Ivanišević played Pat Rafter on a Monday final at Wimbledon cause of shite weather. I went into toilet at start of 2nd set and didn't emerge till halfway through 4th set, was fucking brutal, was thinking i'd have to try and break it up with a knitting needle to try and get it out. All weekend I was thinking about how smart i was to take immodium and not have to worry about the state of the bogs. Not pleasant at all. 😂😂 thats not quite what your gran was expecting from her knitting needles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parklife Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 I'm a home only shitter. No chance I'm jobbying in some work toilet after some fat, smelly bastard has arse-spewed the lamb tikka masala he had last night down there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farcity Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 29 minutes ago, thplinth said: People talk about eating disorders but I think shit disorders are as bad. The bogs in my school growing up were on a par with the trainspotting toilet. With those absurd micro sheets of greased proof toilet paper. If you were lucky. Anyone remember that stuff. You just learned to hold it in. Very occasionally if it was a Haribo sugar free situation I’d do it but only if my arse was holding a gun to my head. My school toilet wasn't great either, no attempt whatsoever was made to pish in the urinal, you simply walked into the middle of the bogs and let it go everywhere. Up the walls, on the doors. Ahhh memories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 32 minutes ago, Big Ramy 1314 said: Still at the bingo then. Aye ok then.. The bingo? Tell me, where did the logic for that insult come from? Anyone with half a ducking brain would know that bingo halls etc aren’t allowed to be open because of the ongoing global pandemic. Once again, you’ve made yourself look fucking stupid by not only posting an insult completely out of the blue, but one that isn’t possible to be happening just now anyway. It amazes me with the new ways you manage to dumb yourself down every day, it’s spectacular. Do you have a book of online insults, or do you run them by your nurse first before those big clumpy fingers batter at a keyboard, sniggering away to yourself. Anyway, please leave me alone, you’re a bit creepy now, I’ve said it before, I’m flattered, but you’re really not my type, I prefer to date women that have fully evolved, not brain dead chimps from Canada. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 1 minute ago, Farcity said: My school toilet wasn't great either, no attempt whatsoever was made to pish in the urinal, you simply walked into the middle of the bogs and let it go everywhere. Up the walls, on the doors. Ahhh memories. Our school toilets weren’t used for going to the toilet, that had to wait until you got home. If you weren’t smoking or scheming up a way to get someone’s heed flushed, you had no business being there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farcity Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 1 minute ago, dandydunn said: The bingo? Tell me, where did the logic for that insult come from? Anyone with half a ducking brain would know that bingo halls etc aren’t allowed to be open because of the ongoing global pandemic. Once again, you’ve made yourself look fucking stupid by not only posting an insult completely out of the blue, but one that isn’t possible to be happening just now anyway. It amazes me with the new ways you manage to dumb yourself down every day, it’s spectacular. Do you have a book of online insults, or do you run them by your nurse first before those big clumpy fingers batter at a keyboard, sniggering away to yourself. Anyway, please leave me alone, you’re a bit creepy now, I’ve said it before, I’m flattered, but you’re really not my type, I prefer to date women that have fully evolved, not brain dead chimps from Canada. There's the answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thplinth Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 (edited) 17 minutes ago, TDYER63 said: . Edited August 4, 2020 by thplinth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 5 minutes ago, Farcity said: My school toilet wasn't great either, no attempt whatsoever was made to pish in the urinal, you simply walked into the middle of the bogs and let it go everywhere. Up the walls, on the doors. Ahhh memories. My primary school toilet (long time ago) was an outdoor affair and the goals for football was the other side of the wall. We used to try our hardest to pish up the wall and onto the goalie on the other side. Sorry for going slightly off topic but I thought I'd share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farcity Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 Just now, bonzo said: My primary school toilet (long time ago) was an outdoor affair and the goals for football was the other side of the wall. We used to try our hardest to pish up the wall and onto the goalie on the other side. Sorry for going slightly off topic but I thought I'd share. No no, not at all. There is room for everyone and everything. The door to this thread is always open. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErsatzThistle Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 As we're on the subject I thought I'd post this lovely memory I have here ........ It must have been about 1999 or 2000. I was in the waiting room of a garage in Paisley with my Dad. One of the mechanics comes in and enters the adjacent lavvie. A great cry of extreme horror and revulsion then erupts from within. Out comes a very pissed off mechanic who marches over to the door that gives access to the workshops. In the hoarse, raspy voice of a man who smokes about eighty a day (may he RIP) he then cries out: "Charlie ! There another floater in that lavvie again ! Ho Charlie ! There some cunt left another floater in that fucking lavvie again !" Maybe you had to "be there". I almost choked laughing. I wonder if they ever did find out who kept leaving floaters in the garage lavvie ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Ramy 1314 Posted August 4, 2020 Author Share Posted August 4, 2020 19 minutes ago, dandydunn said: The bingo? Tell me, where did the logic for that insult come from? Anyone with half a ducking brain would know that bingo halls etc aren’t allowed to be open because of the ongoing global pandemic. Once again, you’ve made yourself look fucking stupid by not only posting an insult completely out of the blue, but one that isn’t possible to be happening just now anyway. It amazes me with the new ways you manage to dumb yourself down every day, it’s spectacular. Do you have a book of online insults, or do you run them by your nurse first before those big clumpy fingers batter at a keyboard, sniggering away to yourself. Anyway, please leave me alone, you’re a bit creepy now, I’ve said it before, I’m flattered, but you’re really not my type, I prefer to date women that have fully evolved, not brain dead chimps from Canada. Colin at the bingo now.. 🖕 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Ramy 1314 Posted August 4, 2020 Author Share Posted August 4, 2020 Celtic are still top of the league folks. 10 in a row.. Yasssssssssss!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farcity Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 Just now, Big Ramy 1314 said: Colin at the bingo now.. 🖕 You given up poisoning the good citizens of Ottawa then? You are lucky to have got a new job so quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 3 minutes ago, Farcity said: You given up poisoning the good citizens of Ottawa then? You are lucky to have got a new job so quickly. I would imagine being poisoned would be a welcome tonic from the ramblings of a mentally ill, middle aged, bigoted man with his name on the back of his T-shirt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 19 minutes ago, bonzo said: My primary school toilet (long time ago) was an outdoor affair and the goals for football was the other side of the wall. We used to try our hardest to pish up the wall and onto the goalie on the other side. Sorry for going slightly off topic but I thought I'd share. Anything goes my friend, anything at all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 Now there’s a good topic. The emojis from iPhone. Who’s got the best one, that’s mine above. Rhamys is below Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farcity Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 He will be raging as he's sat there at the Canadian version of Mecca informing the loyal punters that there is double money for the four corners and the promise of big money if they hang around for the national link up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McTeeko Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 48 minutes ago, Parklife said: I'm a home only shitter. No chance I'm jobbying in some work toilet after some fat, smelly bastard has arse-spewed the lamb tikka masala he had last night down there. Know what you mean, however there’s something magical about doing a great big jobby at your work, knowing you’re getting paid to enjoy every rectal squeeze 👍🏼 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thplinth Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 57 minutes ago, TDYER63 said: That is the stuff. I thought naw at first as I had vivid memories of this stuff coming in a shity cardboard box and not even a proper roll. So looked it up... They had it specially made dispensers so you could only grab a sheath or two at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Ramy 1314 Posted August 4, 2020 Author Share Posted August 4, 2020 42 minutes ago, Farcity said: You given up poisoning the good citizens of Ottawa then? You are lucky to have got a new job so quickly. Same job. No worries...🖕 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.