fishcumnock Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Woke up rough after a party at mates ,went hame for a wash and change,everybloodtwhere UNDER my clothes was painted sept for boxers . went with posh bird yin night , gave me crabs ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacTaz Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 Never been to bed with an ugly woman .............woken up next to some real hippocrocapigs though ....... One memorable "thing" was aboot 6 ft SQUARE ! ..... and bore a striking resemblance to Johann Lamont's uglier sister ! if it hadn't farted I wouldn't have known which end was which !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euan2020 Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 Benidorm 1978, first holiday abroad, aged 18 - had pulled a bird on the first night [so quite delighted] - went to put my arm over her in the morning and it got lodged up in the air, when i opened my eyes to see why ? - my mate had come back and was humping her !!!! The grin on his face still haunts me to this day sloppy seconds for your mate ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mariokempes56 Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 Prince Andrew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wellyman Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 sloppy seconds for your mate ? Without going into to much detail - but yes !!! Was once described by another a mate - "That he would shag a dead rat with piles" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
86glebestreet Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 About 40 years ago my pal was at a party , fell asleep and woke up to find some guy sucking his cock, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest flumax Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 About 40 years ago my pal was at a party , fell asleep and woke up to find some guy sucking his cock, a pal? aye right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 a pal? aye right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parklife Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 a pal? aye right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacTaz Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 (edited) I've just remembered another waking moment....New Year's Day 1982/3 woke up or rather got booted awake by some hairy arrsed Provo Sgt , to find myself in the jail , surrounded by a sea of vomit , my only recollection of the previous night was leaving the Mess with a litre bottle of Bacardi gold, heading for a party in Pads quarter ....... I needn't have worried though the lovely Provo Sgt chappie filled in the missing bits at 300 decibels as he beasted me round the parade square for an hour as I regurgitated the previous nights intake ..... then sent me back to my bed with a farewell boot up the arse WHERE I LAY DYING FOR TWO DAYS ! The postscript to this was a mate of mine thinking he was doing me a good turn brought me a bowl of vegetable soup from the cookhouse ...........then looked astounded when I rose from my death bed and sprinted to the loo at warp speed !! I have NEVER drunk the stuff to this day !! Edited January 5, 2015 by MacTaz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mariokempes56 Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 Soup? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 Soup? Maybe Boaxters ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
86glebestreet Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 a pal? aye right. This post is the funniest thing I have woke up to, Veey good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brummie Hibs Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 I have woken up in bed on Christmas day, at my mums, with my best mate lying in bed next to me. I have woken up in a rose bush in Norwich. I have woken up alone in a random car, in a carpark, lost somewhere I know not in Brussels, during the last Scotland game, and not knowing the location or name of my hotel. I know no whys, whats, hows or wheres. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kps022000 Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 I woke up in a ditch, 5 miles away from Leeds festival with no recollection of the previous 12 hours. Last thing I remember was drinking potcheen with some Irish guys in the adjacent tent. My brother woke up in his car. (In Leeds festival car park). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parklife Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 I have woken up in bed on Christmas day, at my mums, with my best mate lying in bed next to me. It could've been worse, he could've been sucking your cok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orraloon Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 It could've been worse, he could've been sucking your cok. Or vice versa even? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giblet Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 A no vote. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpyauldgit Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 In my dafter days, I woke up to find out I had done some crazy Sh*t, like going for a pint with my cousin and waking up in London. Getting engaged to some nutter I was trying to get rid off, or waking up with a broken ankle after the Italy match in 2007. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andymac Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 A naked Andy North Croy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZoltanBuchan Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Suffice to say the hoose now resembles Peterheid Harbour on a bad day. Full of seals? Is there ever a good day in Peterheid? Why does the Bloo Toon get such a slagging on here, especially from folk from various Central Belt mink holes? It's nae Barcelona, I'll give you that, but it's infinitely preferable to many places, for example the countless, soulless London overspill new towns. Not the worst but the scariest was waking up in a tiny box room in Paris(Berti's debut) after an encounter with a lady who could have been of dubious reput to find her 6 ft plus black boyfriend/pimp screaming at me to leave. My life flashed before me and I was wide awake and out in the street after about 1 min! Mate of mine - aye, a mate - once woke up in a Bangkok brothel with no idea of how he got there, or more to the point, how much he owed. He got dressed and legged it. Personally, I once woke up to find myself snuggling a kebab like it was a new born baby Finally, me and a mate (same mate who woke up in the Bangkok brothel, funnily enough), once went back to his with two girls we'd met in the pub, stopping off at the shop for several bottles of Buckfast. We woke up, at exactly the same time, to find all four of us in the same bed, the two girls in the middle with the two of us at either end. We both looked at each other, silently saying "We ing didn't...did we?", before checking under the covers to find all four of us fully clothed. Not sure if I was relieved or secretly disappointed, to be honest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orraloon Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Finally, me and a mate (same mate who woke up in the Bangkok brothel, funnily enough), once went back to his with two girls we'd met in the pub, stopping off at the shop for several bottles of Buckfast. We woke up, at exactly the same time, to find all four of us in the same bed, the two girls in the middle with the two of us at either end. We both looked at each other, silently saying "We ing didn't...did we?", before checking under the covers to find all four of us fully clothed. Not sure if I was relieved or secretly disappointed, to be honest You're not really expecting us to believe that that story ended there? Are you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitre Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 10 dozen bread rolls. Must have liberated them from outside the chippy door as I walked past early doors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orraloon Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 10 dozen bread rolls. Must have liberated them from outside the chippy door as I walked past early doors. In the trade, that's described as a "drunkard's dozen" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZoltanBuchan Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 You're not really expecting us to believe that that story ended there? Are you? You want to know the end of the story?...we all woke up and had a laugh about it. Over the next week, he (separately) shagged them both, while I got Sweet FA off either of them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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