fringo

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Australian, a Kiwi, an Indonesian, an American, a German, a Peruvian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Tibetan, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, a Kazahk, an Italian, a Norwegian, a Dane, a Ugandan, a Nigerian, a Frenchman, a Colombian, an Argentinian and a South African went to a night club. The bouncer said: "Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai."

I've just been to see my doctor. "How can I help you?" he asked. I said, "I was chilling out this morning listening to 'In The Air Tonight' when suddenly my iPod accidentally slipped up my arse, now it's stuck." He looked at me with a puzzled face and said, "I've never heard that one before." I said, "It's a Phil Collins song."

Totally agree.

A man enters a monastery and takes a vow of silence. This can only be broken every 10 years and then the monk can only say 2 words.After 10 years he is allowed to say his 2 words. He says, 'food, bad'. Another 10 years passes and he's allowed to say another 2 words. He says,'bed, hard'. Another 10 years go by. He's been there 30 years now. He's allowed to say 2 words again. He goes to the leader of the monks and says,'l quit'. The other monk replies, 'l'm not surprised. You've done nothing but complain since you've been here!'

Brummie getting fitted up for a suit. Assistant asks him if he would like a kipper tie. "Yes please, 2 sugars".

Yeah she had to put an end to it and actually stop any Scottish questions. More stage managing by the BBC to try and bring that back "on track" . Very sad.

It's on the top right hand side. First time I've noticed it though. Might come in handy now 😃

I used to watch QT most weeks for years but it's become too cringy and stage managed now so I rarely tune in. I saw a chunk of it last night and that guy on 80 grand a week was remarkable. It's like he was living in a bubble on his £80k and had the cheek to complain about a possible tax rise (whether he got his facts right or wrong).

😃

'My wife told me sex is better on holiday. That was not a nice postcard to receive!'

What's all this hip hop nonsense ? Shouldn't that be in the "Tunes" thread ?

Are you Marge ? 😄

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said. “Where?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”

Sutton is a bit of a knob. But well done Celtic and looking like Rangers too as I type..