My Emotions

[Fred_Zeppelin]

I took my son (19) into Glasgow on Wednesday. We are both big Yessers and Yes had been occupying George Square all week so the day before the referendum (yesmas eve) we wanted to sample the atmosphere. Sometimes when you do these things they don't really live up to the hype. But Wednesday did, in bucket loads. We had something to eat then went round to the Square in time to listen to Tommy Sheridan. He wasn't talking to undecided people so he was in full Yes flow, at times I was wiping my eyes but kept my cool and laughed at some of his stuff "We don't want the crumbs from Westminster's table any more, we want the bakery" brilliant stuff that set the mood in front of thousands of us. We went for a pint in the Yes bar just for the hell of it and since I am proud of the city of my birth I took my son into the Horseshoe bar, as you do as a Dad. Of course in the Horseshoe we bumped into a random drunk person who also turned out to be both a tim and a Yesser.

Having been refreshed we returned to the square and by that time it was getting dark and the atmosphere was really building. The next couple of hours went by quickly, listening to Yes speakers, poets and singers. The highlight was singing "Caledonia" with 20,000 other yessers, people hugging strangers and dancing. I am 57 and had never experienced this, it was exhilarating, I had to stem my tears once again. I will never forget this evening.

Thursday was terrible, I was dying to vote Yes and my son and I had agreed we would do it together so I worked from home to facilitate this. My wife was working late and would vote on her way home. So, being a student he didn't get out his bed until after lunchtime. I had a tear waiting in my eye waiting on him, my emotions were really getting the better of me.

Eventually we were ready. My son wore his Lidl kilt as he said he would, he also wore wore his Scotland Supporter's club top. It was only 200 yards to the polling station but we got abused from passing cars twice. We just laughed. I thought the emotional bubble might burst when I saw the ballot paper and the pencil. But no, it was a breeze. We walked out the polling station and walked the 200 yards back like Clint Eastwood.

I knew then that the bubble would burst when the result was announced.

Celtic at least gave me something to forget about the referendum in the evening. Decent game, decent result, point away although we lost the lead twice. But I was happy with that.

As said, I knew then that the bubble would burst when the result was announced. But it didn't. It probably would have if we'd won, but we didn't. I spent all night awake and went to bed at 5am, getting up for work at 9am, now very fragile, although I was working from home so didn't have to actually face anyone.


Alex Salmond announced his retirement. I was OK.

Westminster reneged on their late promises which probably won them the referendum. I was OK.

This picture sent me over the edge.

I am in real despair here.

[BlueBonnetsowertheBorder]

I took my son (19) into Glasgow on Wednesday. We are both big Yessers and Yes had been occupying George Square all week so the day before the referendum (yesmas eve) we wanted to sample the atmosphere. Sometimes when you do these things they don't really live up to the hype. But Wednesday did, in bucket loads. We had something to eat then went round to the Square in time to listen to Tommy Sheridan. He wasn't talking to undecided people so he was in full Yes flow, at times I was wiping my eyes but kept my cool and laughed at some of his stuff "We don't want the crumbs from Westminster's table any more, we want the bakery" brilliant stuff that set the mood in front of thousands of us. We went for a pint in the Yes bar just for the hell of it and since I am proud of the city of my birth I took my son into the Horseshoe bar, as you do as a Dad. Of course in the Horseshoe we bumped into a random drunk person who also turned out to be both a tim and a Yesser.

Having been refreshed we returned to the square and by that time it was getting dark and the atmosphere was really building. The next couple of hours went by quickly, listening to Yes speakers, poets and singers. The highlight was singing "Caledonia" with 20,000 other yessers, people hugging strangers and dancing. I am 57 and had never experienced this, it was exhilarating, I had to stem my tears once again. I will never forget this evening.

Thursday was terrible, I was dying to vote Yes and my son and I had agreed we would do it together so I worked from home to facilitate this. My wife was working late and would vote on her way home. So, being a student he didn't get out his bed until after lunchtime. I had a tear waiting in my eye waiting on him, my emotions were really getting the better of me.

Eventually we were ready. My son wore his Lidl kilt as he said he would, he also wore wore his Scotland Supporter's club top. It was only 200 yards to the polling station but we got abused from passing cars twice. We just laughed. I thought the emotional bubble might burst when I saw the ballot paper and the pencil. But no, it was a breeze. We walked out the polling station and walked the 200 yards back like Clint Eastwood.

I knew then that the bubble would burst when the result was announced.

Celtic at least gave me something to forget about the referendum in the evening. Decent game, decent result, point away although we lost the lead twice. But I was happy with that.

As said, I knew then that the bubble would burst when the result was announced. But it didn't. It probably would have if we'd won, but we didn't. I spent all night awake and went to bed at 5am, getting up for work at 9am, now very fragile, although I was working from home so didn't have to actually face anyone.

Alex Salmond announced his retirement. I was OK.

Westminster reneged on their late promises which probably won them the referendum. I was OK.

This picture sent me over the edge.

I am in real despair here.

Not only you!

[exile]

Well you are not alone.

[JohnW]

Excellent post ek, kinda sums it up for me as well but we can move on, I'd love to say 'rise now and be the nation again' but that will come

[Grim Jim]

We are the 45 !

Don't let the bastards grind you down.

[ErsatzThistle]

We haven't always agreed on things ek_celt but that summed it up for a lot of us.

Now is the time for all of us to beat the No hangover and prepare for the next time when we will triumph !

[Pool Q]

EK, they are an irrelevance, that's why they need to resort to this kind of thing, they have no other way of having anyone pay any attention to them. In the big picture, while the referendum result is devastating, the direction of travel is clear. And on a UK wide basis the Unionist parties are in disarray. The pledge for greater Scottish powers may have helped get a No vote, but it is actually undeliverable and will tear the Westminster politic apart. Labour simply cannot support it; by coupling it to English Devolution Cameron has made anything meaningful undeliverable in the short to medium term. UKIP and English nationalism is on the rise, Barnett is finished, and if we do end up with English votes for English Laws (reasonable enough) then the Union as a concept is on borrowed time. Tam Dalyell was actually right all those years back, Devolution has set in motion the end of the Union and greater Devolution will destroy it.

Edited September 19, 2014 by Pool Q

[exile]

What gets my goat is that when the Yessers were on the streets in a joyous mode, the mainstream media didn't report it. It was as if they did not want to admit a major grassroots movement was happening under their feet, under their radar. The BBC if I remember, did not cover the Buchanan St rally on the Saturday.

Then, the protest at Pacific Quay - that was then used in the likes of the Daily Mail to be spun as an intimidating mob trying to stifle free speech, and the smear could be found echoing in other newspapers, who could start to sprinkle references to intimidation or 'things turning vicious' - the Independent - and then the likes Farage warning of riots when there was not hint of actual violence.

Then this happens, just after the media circus has rolled out of town... the media are now consumed by the English Question in Westminster, and what happens on the streets of Glasgow is now back to being just 'the news where you are'. No sense of menace, intimidation, or anything to do with 'nationalism' of the British variety. Meanwhile we must all kow tow to the sage words of our beloved Queen, while 'her boys' are setting off flares on her Majesty's Highway.

Normally I'm not too fussed about flags, even the odd burning flag is not such a big deal compared with personal injury. But I don't think I've ever felt more the feeling of menace, that the union jack here being used as a symbol of domination and occupation, rather than something consensual or a slightly reluctant pragmatic flag of convenience for a nation-that-is-not-quite-a-nation-again.

[highland_john]

"THE CAMPAIGN IS OVER. THE DREAM WILL NEVER DIE"

[HIGHTOWER 1314]

You arent alone mate we are all feeling the same.

[faddyisyerdaddy]

I think we all got a glimpse of what life could be like in a positive inclusive forward thinking society. The images from George Square are depressing but I believe that a section of our population have been energised by this process and this far outweighs the negativity of tonight's scenes.

[MacWalka]

I'm gutted mate. I was down but not out after the results of this morning. Salmond resigning made me sad but not overly so. However after seeing the images of Glasgow tonight I cried. I cried a lot and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I haven't been able to process it yet. All I know is that I feel like an outsider in my own country. All I wanted was a chance to build our own land for the betterment of all. I didn't want more thsn my share, in fact I'd be happy with less if it meant others had a faur chance at life.

However, I misjudged my countrymen.

[Fred_Zeppelin]

I'm gutted mate. I was down but not out after the results of this morning. Salmond resigning made me sad but not overly so. However after seeing the images of Glasgow tonight I cried. I cried a lot and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I haven't been able to process it yet. All I know is that I feel like an outsider in my own country. All I wanted was a chance to build our own land for the betterment of all. I didn't want more thsn my share, in fact I'd be happy with less if it meant others had a faur chance at life.

However, I misjudged my countrymen.

Spot on. There is now a reality about Scotland that I don't want to face.

[ThistleWhistle]

I'm gutted mate. I was down but not out after the results of this morning. Salmond resigning made me sad but not overly so. However after seeing the images of Glasgow tonight I cried. I cried a lot and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I haven't been able to process it yet. All I know is that I feel like an outsider in my own country. All I wanted was a chance to build our own land for the betterment of all. I didn't want more thsn my share, in fact I'd be happy with less if it meant others had a faur chance at life.

However, I misjudged my countrymen.

Spot on. There is now a reality about Scotland that I don't want to face.

Sums it up perfectly for me. Thought we could have started something amazing; another path others could follow. Instead we get this shit. Ironically I feel foreign - this isn't how I've ever pictured Scotland.

Edited September 19, 2014 by ThistleWhistle

[thplinth]

And to think folk used to get a hard time on here for calling them quislings.

[Hertsscot]

The union flag used to be seen as an emblem of the far right in England but seems to have been reinvented via Cool Britannia. Only in Scotland does it now appear to be the rallying point for the extreme right.

[IAteAllThePies]

Deflation has been replaced with anger. At work this morning.

Alex Salmond should be ashamed of himself for last night's scenes apparently.

Most no's don't even admit to being no.

I am having a hard time making eye contact with some people.

Cowardice.

[Armchair Bob]

MacWalka - same here.

Something in me died yesterday.

I am not sure where that is going to lead me but I have been surprised at the depth of my emotional response.

[thplinth]

I took my son (19) into Glasgow on Wednesday. We are both big Yessers and Yes had been occupying George Square all week so the day before the referendum (yesmas eve) we wanted to sample the atmosphere. Sometimes when you do these things they don't really live up to the hype. But Wednesday did, in bucket loads. We had something to eat then went round to the Square in time to listen to Tommy Sheridan. He wasn't talking to undecided people so he was in full Yes flow, at times I was wiping my eyes but kept my cool and laughed at some of his stuff "We don't want the crumbs from Westminster's table any more, we want the bakery" brilliant stuff that set the mood in front of thousands of us. We went for a pint in the Yes bar just for the hell of it and since I am proud of the city of my birth I took my son into the Horseshoe bar, as you do as a Dad. Of course in the Horseshoe we bumped into a random drunk person who also turned out to be both a tim and a Yesser.

Having been refreshed we returned to the square and by that time it was getting dark and the atmosphere was really building. The next couple of hours went by quickly, listening to Yes speakers, poets and singers. The highlight was singing "Caledonia" with 20,000 other yessers, people hugging strangers and dancing. I am 57 and had never experienced this, it was exhilarating, I had to stem my tears once again. I will never forget this evening.

Thursday was terrible, I was dying to vote Yes and my son and I had agreed we would do it together so I worked from home to facilitate this. My wife was working late and would vote on her way home. So, being a student he didn't get out his bed until after lunchtime. I had a tear waiting in my eye waiting on him, my emotions were really getting the better of me.

Eventually we were ready. My son wore his Lidl kilt as he said he would, he also wore wore his Scotland Supporter's club top. It was only 200 yards to the polling station but we got abused from passing cars twice. We just laughed. I thought the emotional bubble might burst when I saw the ballot paper and the pencil. But no, it was a breeze. We walked out the polling station and walked the 200 yards back like Clint Eastwood.

I knew then that the bubble would burst when the result was announced.

Celtic at least gave me something to forget about the referendum in the evening. Decent game, decent result, point away although we lost the lead twice. But I was happy with that.

As said, I knew then that the bubble would burst when the result was announced. But it didn't. It probably would have if we'd won, but we didn't. I spent all night awake and went to bed at 5am, getting up for work at 9am, now very fragile, although I was working from home so didn't have to actually face anyone.

Alex Salmond announced his retirement. I was OK.

Westminster reneged on their late promises which probably won them the referendum. I was OK.

This picture sent me over the edge.

I am in real despair here.

Crushed is how I feel.

My heart has been broken. Everything feels different.

I have lost friends and they do not even know it.

You took a lot of shit on here over the years for being a plastic irishman. Most of it from plastic jocks. I hope at least that will be seen now for it was and is.

I am very sorry for me, for you, but mostly for your boy... it did not work out as it was meant to be.

edit: sorry i see he is 19

Edited September 20, 2014 by thplinth

[IAteAllThePies]

MacWalka - same here.

Something in me died yesterday.

I am not sure where that is going to lead me but I have been surprised at the depth of my emotional response.

I think a large percentage of us yessers are going to just jack it.

We've fought hard and it just feels so hard to explain.

Being Scottish was a big part of my identity and "they've" took that away.

[thplinth]

I am going to have to change my whole morning routine because I just can't look at newspapers or give a shit about anything they have to say. I feel hollow.

[thplinth]

Thought I might feel better today, I don't it is intensifying and not going away. This is going to change a lot of people.

[ShedTA]

Thought I might feel better today, I don't it is intensifying and not going away. This is going to change a lot of people.

Same. Thought the anger would fade. It hasn't.

[Al1978]

Feel worse today. Getting into arguments with No voters on facebook isn't helping.

[Hertsscot]

I think a large percentage of us yessers are going to just jack it.

We've fought hard and it just feels so hard to explain.

Being Scottish was a big part of my identity and "they've" took that away.

Don't jack it in. I think it was Emerson who said that many of life's failures are because people didn't realize how close they were to success when they gave up. the Yes cause has come a long way in the last few years, just needs another 6%, it won't be tomorrow but it is by no means unachievable particualrly when they start breaking their promises.