Cocaine addiction

[killiefaetheferry]

3 hours ago, Reevesy said:

That's good advice. The match on Sunday will be a test of will power. I'm actually considering going in the car instead of our supporters bus, but I'd rather not have to avoid my mates because I don't trust myself to behave like an adult.

Sounds like you are half-way there. This level of self-awareness means you can decide right now that you are simply NOT a cocaine user anymore. Keep telling yourself that very thing. Tell your wife that, and tell your friends. Tell them not to offer you because you simply don't use anymore.

It might have been a blast when you were younger and having mad mental times with your mates, but your 'good times' are now way down your list of priorities, with your children at the very top, and you know this. You are not that person anymore, and it sounds like you don't even ENJOY the stuff anymore. The reason you are chasing it is because it's just not the same buzz, as you are just not the same person. Is it at the back of your mind that you have to go back to your house where your children are sleeping ?

I think you should allow yourself to forgive yourself for the weekend/Monday, and take it as a warning of how close you came to jeopordising your employment and your family. Resolve never to dabble again and thank your lucky stars that you have been mature enough to take a tumble to yourself. Have a heart to heart with your Mrs, and make a commitment to her regarding your future behaviour.

Well done and good luck.

[dandydunn]

15 minutes ago, Reevesy said:

I don't really think there's anything bothering me that I'm trying to escape from. Certainly not abuse or anything like that. Possibly the death of two of my mates a couple of years ago, but I thought I was dealing with that reasonably well. Your post has made me think but I'd have thought I'd be taking it every day if it was to block something out.

I think it's more that I just make some bad decisions and my social circle doesn't help. I don't think it's an addiction but I definitely abuse it from time to time. Hearing my missus say she dreads me taking it has made me feel awful. I only have myself to blame for that though. 

 

 The home truths from the ones closest to us are the ones that hit home the most,but often they can act as a wake up call to the real damage that's happening. 

Really hope you can battle through this, I think someone said earlier that you should talk to your pals too,they may feel the same,they may think you're being over dramatic ,if it's the latter,do you really want them around you?

Sounds like your missus is wanting to help you and get you through this,that kind of devotion can't be replaced. 

[hunchy]

18 minutes ago, Reevesy said:

I don't really think there's anything bothering me that I'm trying to escape from. Certainly not abuse or anything like that. Possibly the death of two of my mates a couple of years ago, but I thought I was dealing with that reasonably well. Your post has made me think but I'd have thought I'd be taking it every day if it was to block something out.

I think it's more that I just make some bad decisions and my social circle doesn't help. I don't think it's an addiction but I definitely abuse it from time to time. Hearing my missus say she dreads me taking it has made me feel awful. I only have myself to blame for that though. 

 

It could be affecting you with out you knowing it. As to taking it every day na doesn't always work !Ike that. I've know alcoholics who would go for months without a drink or only the odd glass of wine but then the go on a bender for a week or 2 and end up going through bottles and bottles of drink. Like I say by the sounds of it you might be at the very beginning a of addiction but you see where things are going and don't like the destination. This is where the hard part comes getting off that train. Don't expect to be transformed overnight just take everyday as it comes. Each day you can choose not to have any Coke and before you know it months have gone by and it's easier to say no thanks. As others have said talk to your mates even if it's just to say you need a break off the gear for a bit. Some will understand and help you maybe even join you which will make things easier. I know it's hard but as time goes by try not to focus on how long you have not had any as for some this can be a negative depending on you. Hope this helps and at least you know there are plenty on here to help you

[Reevesy]

18 minutes ago, killiefaetheferry said:

Sounds like you are half-way there. This level of self-awareness means you can decide right now that you are simply NOT a cocaine user anymore. Keep telling yourself that very thing. Tell your wife that, and tell your friends. Tell them not to offer you because you simply don't use anymore.

It might have been a blast when you were younger and having mad mental times with your mates, but your 'good times' are now way down your list of priorities, with your children at the very top, and you know this. You are not that person anymore, and it sounds like you don't even ENJOY the stuff anymore. The reason you are chasing it is because it's just not the same buzz, as you are just not the same person. Is it at the back of your mind that you have to go back to your house where your children are sleeping ?

I think you should allow yourself to forgive yourself for the weekend/Monday, and take it as a warning of how close you came to jeopordising your employment and your family. Resolve never to dabble again and thank your lucky stars that you have been mature enough to take a tumble to yourself. Have a heart to heart with your Mrs, and make a commitment to her regarding your future behaviour.

Well done and good luck.

Thanks for the advice. That's a pretty accurate post about not enjoying it any more. I honestly don't think I ever really have if I'm honest. It's just been the "done thing" when we are off to football or a night out.

Used to be fond of an eccie or 10 when we would attend raves years ago but that was more of a daft phase, and I'd never have taken them at work so that was always under control. And they were actually enjoyable whereas cocaine just makes me black out, and there's nothing enjoyable about that.

[they've_been_suckered]

Have a couple of pals who I know get involved in all that kind of stuff on occasion. 

i can see how it happens though, it's easy to get carried away on the bevvying so can imagine it's a similar situation with the white stuff. 

Having read your post id say you need to seek some help, I'm sure you can call FRANK or something similar. Talking it through with someone who's trained to deal with these issues is a positive step I'd say. 

Ps. I'm the sensible pal in my crowd

[Reevesy]

23 minutes ago, dandydunn said:

 The home truths from the ones closest to us are the ones that hit home the most,but often they can act as a wake up call to the real damage that's happening. 

Really hope you can battle through this, I think someone said earlier that you should talk to your pals too,they may feel the same,they may think you're being over dramatic ,if it's the latter,do you really want them around you?

Sounds like your missus is wanting to help you and get you through this,that kind of devotion can't be replaced. 

I don't think my mates will mind if I'm not taking it tbh. It's more myself I'm not sure about. Maybe I should drink less too actually, it usually starts with a drinking session then the usual words of "shall we get gear dropped off" get uttered and before you know it you've wasted money to stick that shite up your nose and lost your memory and feel like crap the next day. Sounds ridiculous when you say it loud like that, but that's what we're actually paying for. 

I've spoke to my partner about it and she's happy to hear I'm admitting I have a problem, although she probably just thinks it's just words at the moment. That's understandable of course. I'm incredibly lucky to have her, she's put up with a lot over the years but always stuck by me.

[Reevesy]

26 minutes ago, they've_been_suckered said:

Have a couple of pals who I know get involved in all that kind of stuff on occasion. 

i can see how it happens though, it's easy to get carried away on the bevvying so can imagine it's a similar situation with the white stuff. 

Having read your post id say you need to seek some help, I'm sure you can call FRANK or something similar. Talking it through with someone who's trained to deal with these issues is a positive step I'd say. 

Ps. I'm the sensible pal in my crowd

Aye the talk to Frank think might be an idea but I would be a but embarrassed speaking out loud to someone I think.

I probably sound like a right shady cvnt but I'm a pretty normal person most of the time lol. 

[dandydunn]

32 minutes ago, Reevesy said:

I don't think my mates will mind if I'm not taking it tbh. It's more myself I'm not sure about. Maybe I should drink less too actually, it usually starts with a drinking session then the usual words of "shall we get gear dropped off" get uttered and before you know it you've wasted money to stick that shite up your nose and lost your memory and feel like crap the next day. Sounds ridiculous when you say it loud like that, but that's what we're actually paying for. 

I've spoke to my partner about it and she's happy to hear I'm admitting I have a problem, although she probably just thinks it's just words at the moment. That's understandable of course. I'm incredibly lucky to have her, she's put up with a lot over the years but always stuck by me.

I know that feeling. 

I don't see myself as an ex user,but I'm not hypocritical enough to say that I haven't. 

Last time I had was when Eminem played TITP and we just smoked and sniffed anything that was about. 

Cant remember a thing about that night and had my mates found me to get me back to the tent. That was enough for me,it gave me no enjoyment,I've had the occasional spliff at a gig or party,but that's been a while since too. 

Edited March 7, 2017 by dandydunn

[dandydunn]

7 minutes ago, Reevesy said:

Aye the talk to Frank think might be an idea but I would be a but embarrassed speaking out loud to someone I think.

I probably sound like a right shady cvnt but I'm a pretty normal person most of the time lol. 

Don't be embarrassed about it, you've admitted to needing help and it's out there to get it. 

Everyone is hiding something,it's not on the same level, but I am scared of the dentist,I have to get diazepam before I'll even go through the door,avoided it at all costs,but now I'm paying for it,as years of neglect have driven me problems. 

Youll find people are a lot more understanding if you give them a chance,just remember,they've seen it all before and are professional. They're not going to judge you and let you think any less of yourself. 

Life is full of challenges,it's how we deal with them is what makes us. 

[thplinth]

Not sure you should be apologizing so much. Maybe you do not like your life as much as you think you should. Maybe that is why you escape it now and then... 

 

[Reevesy]

12 minutes ago, thplinth said:

Not sure you should be apologizing so much. Maybe you do not like your life as much as you think you should. Maybe that is why you escape it now and then... 

 

I wouldn't say that's the case. I've turned my life around a fair bit from my teens and early 20s. I'm actually quite proud of what I have now. I don't have a fancy job or loads of money but I like where I live now and everyone comments about how different I am , for the better and how they think I'm a good father. I was involved in a lot of trouble with gang activity in our local area back then and it's a miracle that I was never sent to prison tbh, although I did get community service on a few occasions. That eventually prompted me to move away and have a fresh start.

The one thing I don't like is that we never seem to get together in our group of mates without getting out our faces on drink or drugs. I need to address that by either finding a new group of pals, or speaking to them about how I'm feeling. There's got to be more to a social life than getting into states like that for "fun".

[Nobby]

1 hour ago, Reevesy said:

Aye the talk to Frank think might be an idea but I would be a but embarrassed speaking out loud to someone I think.

I probably sound like a right shady cvnt but I'm a pretty normal person most of the time lol. 

Speak to someone there's plenty of places you can go and it will be a stranger.  Mentioned my mate, he was about your age and a had a successful business and north of 7 figures in the bank. Went out one night and had a nose full, battered some teenager half to death and got 6 years for gbh with intent. By the time he got out his family, business and money were gone . That's embarrassing , speaking to someone and getting yourself sorted isn't !! I'm not saying your headed for that but with two kids and a great Mrs you need to have a think about where your priorities lie. Don't mean to preach but I think you've worked them out for yourself now you just need to do something about it! Good luck ? 

[Reevesy]

5 minutes ago, Nobby said:

Speak to someone there's plenty of places you can go and it will be a stranger.  Mentioned my mate, he was about your age and a had a successful business and north of 7 figures in the bank. Went out one night and had a nose full, battered some teenager half to death and got 6 years for gbh with intent. By the time he got out his family, business and money were gone . That's embarrassing , speaking to someone and getting yourself sorted isn't !! I'm not saying your headed for that but with two kids and a great Mrs you need to have a think about where your priorities lie. Don't mean to preach but I think you've worked them out for yourself now you just need to do something about it! Good luck ? 

No you're not preaching mate. What you're saying is spot on. 

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I don't think it's totally out of control but I do intend to stop. Stories like your mate's just show how quickly things can change and can hopefully act like a wake up call to me.

[macy37]

Take a look in the mirror for the answer. Young kids as well eh? Take a good long hard look.

[they've_been_suckered]

1 hour ago, Reevesy said:

The one thing I don't like is that we never seem to get together in our group of mates without getting out our faces on drink or drugs. I need to address that by either finding a new group of pals, or speaking to them about how I'm feeling. There's got to be more to a social life than getting into states like that for "fun".

Hit the nail on the head there. It's the same for my pals and the drink. Shame really. 

[Stokesy]

I'd speak to a doctor if I was in your position.

(S)he'll have encountered this kind of thing many times before so should be able to give good advice or refer you to someone that can help.

[biffer]

13 hours ago, Reevesy said:

Aye the talk to Frank think might be an idea but I would be a but embarrassed speaking out loud to someone I think.

I probably sound like a right shady cvnt but I'm a pretty normal person most of the time lol. 

Quite often in group sessions it takes time for people to speak up, and that's acknowledged and accepted. Hearing other people talk first can be what you need to trust them back with what you need to say. Many of the other people in the group will all have been through a similar experience

[Freeedom]

I'm about the same age as you, i'm 31 I don't have any kids and I've never been an addict so I don't know what that's like but i'm going to be quite blunt with you anyway. I think you are a idiot, but I think you acknowledge as much yourself. If you are serious about getting off Cocaine then you need to cut contact with your friends, they are clearly no good for you. Your responsibility is to your kids and wife and if being around your mates is compromising your family life then you need to get shot of them right away, no if's no buts. You are a 32 year old man and if one of them calls you up and asks to go out for a few drinks you have to be honest with them and tell them that you are not interested, if they are truly your friends then they will understand and if not then em. Move on. I think you know what's important in life and going out and getting pissed and involved with fights is not one of them, it's up to you.

[PapofGlencoe]

Must be some folk in your group that don't take it?  Say no and stay with the lads that are just on the drink.

It  might not seem easy to do over the long run but make the conscious decision next time you're out to not get completely out your skull and see your pals who are on it.  guaranteed they cut about like utter fannies - probably be enough to put you off for a while and eventually get out the habit.  

i moved out of my hometown a while ago.  similarly, my pals basically watch the football every weekend in the same pub and get smashed.  Wasn't until i was away from it that I could see it.  

total cliche aye but must be a hobby you can take up.  language class, music, fishing, squash don't know.  sounds like you need to give yourself more options for a night out.

Bluntly, it sounds like if all your mates do is take cocaine you need to cut them out.  all the people i know that take it seem to be compensating for boring company (usually almost exclusively male and talk about very little apart from football and burds they never talk to).  

 

all the best.

Edited March 8, 2017 by PapofGlencoe

[TDYER63]

4 hours ago, Freeedom said:

I'm about the same age as you, i'm 31 I don't have any kids and I've never been an addict so I don't know what that's like but i'm going to be quite blunt with you anyway. I think you are a idiot, but I think you acknowledge as much yourself. If you are serious about getting off Cocaine then you need to cut contact with your friends, they are clearly no good for you. Your responsibility is to your kids and wife and if being around your mates is compromising your family life then you need to get shot of them right away, no if's no buts. You are a 32 year old man and if one of them calls you up and asks to go out for a few drinks you have to be honest with them and tell them that you are not interested, if they are truly your friends then they will understand and if not then em. Move on. I think you know what's important in life and going out and getting pissed and involved with fights is not one of them, it's up to you.

Think you might be confusing 'talk to Frank' with 'frank talk', though I am sure Reevesy will agree with much of what you have said. 

 Hope you are a bit more diplomatic with the No voters you want to convert on the Indyref2 thread ? 

[Reevesy]

1 hour ago, PapofGlencoe said:

Must be some folk in your group that don't take it?  Say no and stay with the lads that are just on the drink.

It  might not seem easy to do over the long run but make the conscious decision next time you're out to not get completely out your skull and see your pals who are on it.  guaranteed they cut about like utter fannies - probably be enough to put you off for a while and eventually get out the habit.  

i moved out of my hometown a while ago.  similarly, my pals basically watch the football every weekend in the same pub and get smashed.  Wasn't until i was away from it that I could see it.  

total cliche aye but must be a hobby you can take up.  language class, music, fishing, squash don't know.  sounds like you need to give yourself more options for a night out.

Bluntly, it sounds like if all your mates do is take cocaine you need to cut them out.  all the people i know that take it seem to be compensating for boring company (usually almost exclusively male and talk about very little apart from football and burds they never talk to).  

 

all the best.

Two more good replies, thanks.

I probably should have been a bit clearer in that I don't blame my mates for peer pressuring me into taking it. I don't think it makes much difference to them.

I just meant that when it's readily available then I find it more tempting just to get on it, despite the fact that without fail I always regret it afterwards. I make the decision to do that on my own though so it's only me to blame.

Not sure if I'm just oblivious to how others act on it when I'm on it myself but afterwards I always feel like I was more affected than everyone else by it. I don't seem to have much tolerance to it, which is weird cos it when it comes to alcohol I'm not what you'd class as a "lightweight". I just get far too greedy on it now and it's just not worth it at all. 

 

[they've_been_suckered]

6 hours ago, Freeedom said:

I'm about the same age as you, i'm 31 I don't have any kids and I've never been an addict so I don't know what that's like but i'm going to be quite blunt with you anyway. I think you are a idiot, but I think you acknowledge as much yourself. If you are serious about getting off Cocaine then you need to cut contact with your friends, they are clearly no good for you. Your responsibility is to your kids and wife and if being around your mates is compromising your family life then you need to get shot of them right away, no if's no buts. You are a 32 year old man and if one of them calls you up and asks to go out for a few drinks you have to be honest with them and tell them that you are not interested, if they are truly your friends then they will understand and if not then em. Move on. I think you know what's important in life and going out and getting pissed and involved with fights is not one of them, it's up to you.

Wow. Such compassion. 

1 hour ago, TDYER63 said:

Think you might be confusing 'talk to Frank' with 'frank talk', though I am sure Reevesy will agree with much of what you have said. 

 Hope you are a bit more diplomatic with the No voters you want to convert on the Indyref2 thread ? 

Seconded ??

[euan2020]

think you need to remove the "opportunity" if you do not have the discipline to say no - which means spending less time with your pals

people catch on shit, when opportunity presents itself even though it had not been in their plan - could be smoking, drugs, cheating on partner 

so rather than planning to say no and struggle, just remove the opportunity

I see this with folk around me - always a reason such as "social smoker" , "social drinker"  etc etc

South Africa has quite a problem with TIK which is Crytal Meth - dealers even feeding it to kids, so that they will manual handle the drugs to deal o n their behalf.

I was reading up about Krokodil, since someone we know apparently died of drugs

http://www.narconon.org/drug-information/krokodil.html

 

[Freeedom]

59 minutes ago, they've_been_suckered said:

Wow. Such compassion. 

Seconded ??

Yeah sorry, I don't feel too compassionate for people who do coke and start fights with strangers when they have family at home. stupid.

[they've_been_suckered]

9 minutes ago, Freeedom said:

Yeah sorry, I don't feel too compassionate for people who do coke and start fights with strangers when they have family at home. stupid.

You're right. Let's cast them out and give them zero chance to change. Good one.