Lamia Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Bit of a different argument is it not Lamia? Putting gifts before paying rent is plain idiotic. Anyone doing that just to keep the Bairns happy at XMAS needs their head read imo. Christmas has always been a big thing in my house. We weren't well off when I was young, but I was still lucky enough to receive very generous gifts. That, though, is only a small part of it. My wee yin was given a ridiculous amount this year by friends and relatives , although the vast majority are the sensory/learning type toys, it was still too much. Some of these will go to the local community groups ( as we did with birthday gifts) and as she gets older she will get involved with actually choosing what she want to hand in, and be educated why we are doing it. it's something I did when I was a nipper so it will be passed on to her. What really excited her though, was the amount of people that came to visit and tbh that's exactly what christmas is about for me. it's a time of year when people do have that wee bit extra time and therfore have more time to see each other. Presents will inevitably change hands. Im as guilty as anyone for spending too much on people, but you know whit? They all deserve it and I know it's appreciated. Anyway been.Reading this thread with interest so here's my two pence worth. I think your argument/point is going in the right direction and is probably well meaning but you have maybe put it across the wrong way? You are right, throwing ridiculous gifts at a bairn won't teach them anything, but then I dont think any parent on here would claim to use One singular day as a tool to teach their kids about the value of things. Similarly though I don't believe buying a wean an xbox is going to damage them, it's what you do every single day that will shape their upbringing. That's the reason I asked if you had Bairns by the way, not because I think you aren't allowed an opinion on.the subject. There is nothing wrong with taking joy in seeing your kids light up at being given a gift imo, it's what you teach them, about the meaning of giving and receiving gifts that really counts. And of course that's only a very small part of raising a child, and hopefully guiding them down ( what you perceive to be) the right path. I agree with much of what you say and as I said my observation isn't about all parents and all presents. You raise a good point about what you do the rest of the year to instil the proper values and I think if you get that right the kids won't actually want loads of things. I read with interest what you are doing with the excess presents to help others and that is great and if your daughter grows up happy to hand over her present to others then that will be a great life lesson - I do however think there are many many kids that just would't want to do this and yes that is all part and parcel of what parents do all year round. I would challenge one thing though. If anyone spent too much on me I would actually hate it, maybe I am alone in this but I hope not and do believe there are others that don't actually appreciate lots of gifts. I do however make it abundantly clear that I would rather people spend their money on other things and I give money to charity instead too. Everyone I know already has everything they want so I would rather spend my money on people who don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angus_Young Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 I agree with much of what you say and as I said my observation isn't about all parents and all presents. You raise a good point about what you do the rest of the year to instil the proper values and I think if you get that right the kids won't actually want loads of things. I read with interest what you are doing with the excess presents to help others and that is great and if your daughter grows up happy to hand over her present to others then that will be a great life lesson - I do however think there are many many kids that just would't want to do this and yes that is all part and parcel of what parents do all year round. I would challenge one thing though. If anyone spent too much on me I would actually hate it, maybe I am alone in this but I hope not and do believe there are others that don't actually appreciate lots of gifts. I do however make it abundantly clear that I would rather people spend their money on other things and I give money to charity instead too. Everyone I know already has everything they want so I would rather spend my money on people who don't. Haha believe it or not I'm the same. There is an 'argument' every year about what mum buys me. Im embarrassed by it. In fact maybe not embarrassed but certainly humbled....I then go out and do the exact same bloody thing Giving stuff away isn't a new thing for us, I do it all year round anyway. Would also like to point out I don't think this means I'm better than those that don't give to charities or such like, nor do I think their children will turn out to be wee b@stards if they dont. Its just something that's stuck with me. It of course helps those that aren't so fortunate, which is the main.aim but it does teach you to have a bit of humility and most definitely helps build perspective when it comes to assessing your own problems/situations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Well I met loads so they exist. I also see the after effects when people can't afford to pay their rent as a result. People laugh when at the days kids were happy to get an orange and parents weren't under pressure to show how much they care with how much they spent but they were more genuine times. Well scurvy was a killer back in the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbcmfc Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 There are certainly folk who think Christmas is a willy waving contest, to show off how much they've spent on their kids, which they equate with how much they love them. So I can see where Lamia is coming from, although a bit extreme! There's a happy medium where you don't take out a Wonga loan to spend hundreds of pounds on your kids, but do get them things they want or need. (If your kid had asked for an Xbox or laptop and it wasn't a ridiculous request, when's a better time to get them it? Getting it "just cos" isn't a great lesson either surely?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishcumnock Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Got my youngest a fitted suit , that's him 16 and left school ,can buy himself noo he's starting college. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iainmac1 Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Kinda backs up my point Not at all. Who gets excited by an orange. Who takes joy in their child eating an orange. Let's wait till you have kids. Then give them an orange for Christmas and see how things go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErsatzThistle Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Not at all. Who gets excited by an orange. Orangemen ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lamia Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Not at all. Who gets excited by an orange. Who takes joy in their child eating an orange. Let's wait till you have kids. Then give them an orange for Christmas and see how things go. People used to - that is the point. And you are doing exactly what I was saying people do dismissing this. Yes this is an extreme but very real example to illustrate the issue that people are in general a lot more materialistic than they were in the past. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haggis McBasher Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 People used to - that is the point. And you are doing exactly what I was saying people do dismissing this. Yes this is an extreme but very real example to illustrate the issue that people are in general a lot more materialistic than they were in the past. I think I definitely agree with your point although I think you probably put it across in the wrong way. I myself know folk who still rely on their parents in their 20/30s,and that is clearly a product of them being spoiled their whole lives,which is obviously a bad thing. However, giving your kids a gift at Christmas and taking joy from their happiness most definitely is not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toepoke Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 Yes this is an extreme but very real example to illustrate the issue that people are in general a lot more materialistic than they were in the past. It's also a lot easier to access said material though. You could spend 100 quid at the B&M Store and fill your house with a load of toys the weans will lap up... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I'm 32 and still get Christmas presents that I don't want or need. It's great for kids but otherwise it's a load of shite When a wiz wee Christmas week a hud tae take ma auld toys tae the local childrens hame before a got new toys et Christmas maybe gie that a thought when you've got shit prezzies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lamia Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 It's also a lot easier to access said material though. You could spend 100 quid at the B&M Store and fill your house with a load of toys the weans will lap up... All part of the same issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scunnered Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Got a lifesize cardboard cutout of Ed Miliband for Christmas! Faith restored! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stewart_Aberdeen Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Got a lifesize cardboard cutout of Ed Miliband for Christmas! Faith restored! I've seen photographic evidence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cove_Sheep Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Got a lifesize cardboard cutout of Ed Miliband for Christmas! Faith restored! You do realise that Stewart is now going to get you a lifesize cardboard cutout of someone else for your birthday now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stewart_Aberdeen Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 You do realise that Stewart is now going to get you a lifesize cardboard cutout of someone else for your birthday now... You? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cove_Sheep Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 You? Ha ha. His proper hero. The one from Northern Ireland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 People used to - that is the point. And you are doing exactly what I was saying people do dismissing this. Yes this is an extreme but very real example to illustrate the issue that people are in general a lot more materialistic than they were in the past. That's because there is more choice, goods are cheaper and people are wealthier. I remember my folks renting a tv. My Grandpa didn't have an inside toilet until his mid thirties. People "doon the water" as that is what was offered. It's good there is choice and options. People have individual freedoms to spend their own money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orraloon Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 You do realise that Stewart is now going to get you a lifesize cardboard cutout of someone else for your birthday now... Katy? It will be a soggy tattered mess within a week. Mind you, so might Ed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cove_Sheep Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Katy? It will be a soggy tattered mess within a week. Mind you, so might Ed? Big Josh is his real hero. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scunnered Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Katy? It will be a soggy tattered mess within a week. Mind you, so might Ed? I'd get it laminated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McExpat Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Got my youngest a fitted suit Did he ask for the suit? Why did you / he go with that gift ? Just curious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scunnered Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Big Josh is his real hero. Stop it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angus_Young Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 When a wiz wee Christmas week a hud tae take ma auld toys tae the local childrens hame before a got new toys et Christmas maybe gie that a thought when you've got shit prezzies Similar to.what I did/do. Good habit to get into. Would encourage any family that can afford to do this sort of thing to give it a go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lamia Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 Ha ha. His proper hero. The one from Northern Ireland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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