wheres the pies Posted September 27, 2020 Share Posted September 27, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted October 10, 2020 Share Posted October 10, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiny Tim Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 This guy called Simon on Stars in Your Eyes. Matthew Kelly says, "I hear you have a sad story, why don't you tell the audience?" So the guy says, "I was in a horrific car crash with my uncle. My uncle died and I lost both my legs. But the surgeon performed a miracle operation and transplanted my uncle's legs onto me". Matthew say's "What an amazing story. So tell me, Simon from Liverpool, who are you going to be tonight?" Guy says, "Well tonight Matthew, I'm going to be... Simon and half uncle". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 1 hour ago, Tiny Tim said: This guy called Simon on Stars in Your Eyes. Matthew Kelly says, "I hear you have a sad story, why don't you tell the audience?" So the guy says, "I was in a horrific car crash with my uncle. My uncle died and I lost both my legs. But the surgeon performed a miracle operation and transplanted my uncle's legs onto me". Matthew say's "What an amazing story. So tell me, Simon from Liverpool, who are you going to be tonight?" Guy says, "Well tonight Matthew, I'm going to be... Simon and half uncle". Ohya😄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiny Tim Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 4 minutes ago, bonzo said: Ohya😄 You done it? I need to read through things but now I can't find my way round here on my phone anymore I don't bother so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 “Posh hotels have a turn-down service. I had never heard of this and there was a knock at the door and a woman said, ‘I’ve come to turn down your bed.’ To which I said, ‘Well many women have in the past. Why should you be any different?’” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 'Two cannibals were eating a clown – one said to the other, 'Does he taste funny to you?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 13 hours ago, fringo said: 'Two cannibals were eating a clown – one said to the other, 'Does he taste funny to you?' 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killiefaetheferry Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 On 10/10/2020 at 7:57 AM, wheres the pies said: Not a joke but a true story. A girl I used to work with was in a play off for first prize in a pub quiz with her husband and another couple. Anyone from either team could shout out the answer to win. The question was, "What was Einstein's first name?" She shouted out, "Frank!" 😮🤷🏻♂️ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daviebee Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 12 hours ago, killiefaetheferry said: Not a joke but a true story. A girl I used to work with was in a play off for first prize in a pub quiz with her husband and another couple. Anyone from either team could shout out the answer to win. The question was, "What was Einstein's first name?" She shouted out, "Frank!" 😮🤷🏻♂️ 😂😂😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 On 10/16/2020 at 10:17 AM, killiefaetheferry said: Not a joke but a true story. A girl I used to work with was in a play off for first prize in a pub quiz with her husband and another couple. Anyone from either team could shout out the answer to win. The question was, "What was Einstein's first name?" She shouted out, "Frank!" 😮🤷🏻♂️ I had to read that 3 times before I got it . I was trying to think of a connection between Frank and Albert 🙄😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 My French friend said to me: ‘Did you know butterflies only live for one day?’ I said: ‘That’s a myth.’ He said: ‘No, it’s definitely a butterfly.’” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 A ventriloquist is doing his act 1 night with his dummy on his knee, he starts going thru his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde shouts "I've heard enough! Wot does the colour of a persons hair have 2 do with their worth as a human being? Its men like u who keep woman like me from being respected!" The red faced ventriloquist begins 2 apologise, but the blonde shouts "you stay out of this! I'm talkin 2 that little twat on your knee!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 A woman met a man at a club and went back to his place for sex. Afterwards, she said "You must be dentist. And a rather good one." He replied, "How did you know I'm a dentist?" She said, "I didn't feel a thing." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 A guy calls into work and says, "I can't come in today, I'm seeing spots." "Have you seen a doctor?" "No, just the spots." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 24, 2020 Share Posted October 24, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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