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A man went to the doctor and said, "I've got a huge hole in my ass." The doctor looked at him over the top of his glasses, then said, "OK, drop your pants, bend over and I'll take a look". The man's anus was indeed greatly enlarged, and rather sore looking, too. "What on earth has happened to make your ass as big as that?" said the doctor, to which the man replied, "I've been shagged by an elephant."
"Yes, but an elephant's penis is long and thin, and this hole is enormous."
 
"Ah yes," replied the man, "but he fingered me first."
 
 
 
 
 
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Saw this yesterday on social media and it made me laugh:

 

Three men are caught by female savages and informed that their dicks are going to be removed consistent with what they do for a living.

 

The first man is a lumberjack so his will be chopped off.

 

The second man is a butcher so he will meet the slicing machine.

 

The third man has been laughing the entire time and when asked why by the females he says:

 

"I work for Dyson."

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