Wedding lists

[Marky]

On 06/03/2017 at 5:42 PM, TDYER63 said:

I would agree with this as I was the person that got 20 towel bales, all in dashing 1980's peach and avocado. I think lists are fine so long as the items are geared towards what guests can afford. There is always gift vouchers for larger items. 

I agree with the poster who feels that far too much money is spent on weddings these days , however I would also refrain from being too frugal.

My brother and his fiance had set a day for their wedding and my husband ( boyfriend at that time) spotted an opportunity to save some dosh by pigging backing on the back of their wedding by having a double wedding. Miraculoulsy my brothers fiance agreed to this. However cheap double weddings bring their own problems.  

The vicar got completely confused with all the people involved and tried to marry my brothers fiance off to my cousin. The hotel ran out of food as too many people had chosen chicken for their main course so the remaining guests had to make do with fish suppers from the nearby chippy. The hotel only had 1 decent bedroom so we had to toss a coin as to who got it after the reception, the other couple got it the next evening . We lost so my husband and i i had to come back to the hotel the next night. I can assure it wasnt worth the effort.  And i am not entirely sure the bed sheets had been cleaned.

We had our wedding breakfast in Cardosis in Paisley, I full fry up. It is by some miracle we are still married almost 30 yrs on. 

So, getting back to the avocado towels .....

Just saw this post. I don't remember the hotel running out of food or having to get fish suppers? Was I leathered by then?

I do remember winning the toss for the "Bridal Suite" though. 

What a privilege that was.  

And I'm glad that at least one half of that wedding lasted 30 years!! 

[TDYER63]

8 hours ago, Marky said:

Just saw this post. I don't remember the hotel running out of food or having to get fish suppers? Was I leathered by then?

I do remember winning the toss for the "Bridal Suite" though. 

What a privilege that was.  

And I'm glad that at least one half of that wedding lasted 30 years!! 

Clearly you were (again) and vindicates my position on the hangover thread ?  . Gran and grandpa, along with a few others,  took fish suppers to spare our embarrassment .

[Marky]

41 minutes ago, TDYER63 said:

Clearly you were (again) and vindicates my position on the hangover thread ?  . Gran and grandpa, along with a few others,  took fish suppers to spare our embarrassment .

I'd imagine they were the winners in that culinary experience. 

[Kirk]

On 12/03/2017 at 8:38 AM, Mark frae Crieff said:

better aff wi the Breville... 

Who did he manage? Is he available?

[buckielugger]

On Monday, March 06, 2017 at 9:13 AM, DonnyTJS said:

We just didn't tell anyone (apart from the two witnesses a week or so before). I assume our intention was posted somewhere as per the law but I don't know where and neither of our families knew anything about it. I can't remember how much the licence and admin. cost, but all in it was definitely under 100 quid. Rings added a bit to that, come to think of it ...

Have u considered being a Wedding Planner? Seriously that's just my type of wedding. I really despise the waste of money that goes on these ridiculous events. 

[euan2020]

28 minutes ago, buckielugger said:

Have u considered being a Wedding Planner? Seriously that's just my type of wedding. I really despise the waste of money that goes on these ridiculous events. 

my wife asked for a wedding planner - was told to feck right off - asked if her mother or my mother needed a wedding planner...... 

[hannibal smith]

6 hours ago, euan2020 said:

my wife asked for a wedding planner - was told to feck right off - asked if her mother or my mother needed a wedding planner...... 

I thought the wedding planner was the mother in law's job

[PapofGlencoe]

Even the charity donation seems weird to me.  Assumes people must spend money so better in this day and age let everyone know it's going to charity.

I think some money to help cover the cost of the wedding is more than enough but wouldn't ask for it.  Obviously expect to be out of pocket - nothing wrong with spending a little bit of money on a nice thing - but a small donation from most guests would go a decent way to ensure the more-often-than-not modestly paid couple dont wake up the next day with credit up to their eyes.

Although because everyone else is on tick (or mummy and daddy helped out) from their wedding people expect others to follow suit.

[Potted Heid]

Is having a list basically just asking for a type of present, and the whole point of those things being that they are meant to be voluntary, and the amount spent at the giver's discretion?

I have always bought a wedding present when invited, but never off of any list, as a point of principle.

 

[Parklife]

2 hours ago, PapofGlencoe said:

Even the charity donation seems weird to me.  Assumes people must spend money so better in this day and age let everyone know it's going to charity.

I think some money to help cover the cost of the wedding is more than enough but wouldn't ask for it.  Obviously expect to be out of pocket - nothing wrong with spending a little bit of money on a nice thing - but a small donation from most guests would go a decent way to ensure the more-often-than-not modestly paid couple dont wake up the next day with credit up to their eyes.

Although because everyone else is on tick (or mummy and daddy helped out) from their wedding people expect others to follow suit.

Yeah, that's what i do if i've been invited to a wedding. The way i see it is that it probably costs around £50/head to have folk there, so i'll give them that. Plus a bit extra if i really like them or if it's a fancier wedding. 

[PapofGlencoe]

1 hour ago, Parklife said:

Yeah, that's what i do if i've been invited to a wedding. The way i see it is that it probably costs around £50/head to have folk there, so i'll give them that. Plus a bit extra if i really like them or if it's a fancier wedding. 

Yeah, that's it. i'm probably more 50 between the two of us but it's due to too many weddings.  couldn't afford 100 a time but aye that's the idea.  I'm getting invited to around 4-5 a year at the moment.

I'm actually a fairly happy go lucky bloke but i'm actually worried about getting married.  Simply can't afford 15-20k on one day and even if i could I wouldn't want to.  About a million things i'd rather spend my money on...and she's the same.  

Also, discouraged because everyone seems to invite us to weddings and it seems to be the done thing to invite someone back to yours.  The girlfriend's parents' both have massive families as well.  

I have a few groups of friends that would probably be a bit miffed if they didn't get invited all day.  It starts to put the numbers up.  50 a head, and that's probably cheap.

I'm seriously wondering if it would be frowned upon to just have 40 people or so during the day and hoardes at night only.  All those day invites we've been to is coming back to haunt!

 

Edited April 5, 2017 by PapofGlencoe

[Parklife]

1 minute ago, PapofGlencoe said:

Yeah, that's it. i'm probably more 50 between the two of us but it's due to too many weddings.  couldn't afford 100 a time but aye that's the idea.  I'm getting invited to around 4-5 a year at the moment.

I'm actually a fairly happy go lucky bloke but i'm actually worried about getting married.  Simply can't afford 15-20k on one day and even if i could I wouldn't want to.  About a million things i'd rather spend my money on...and she's the same.  

Also, worried because everyone seems to invite us to weddings and it seems to be the done thing to invite someone back to yours.  The girlfriend's parents' both have massive families as well.  

I have a few groups of friends that would probably be a bit miffed if they didn't get invited all day.  It starts to put the numbers up.  50 a head, and that's probably cheap.

I'm seriously wondering if it would be frowned upon to just have 40 people or so during the day and hoardes at night only.  All those day invites we've been to is coming back to haunt!

 

Get married abroad and tell folk they're welcome to come if they want but are under no obligation to do so. 

If i get married, that's what i'll be doing. 

[PapofGlencoe]

8 minutes ago, Parklife said:

Get married abroad and tell folk they're welcome to come if they want but are under no obligation to do so. 

If i get married, that's what i'll be doing. 

Not bad advice that.  Had me thinking there.  It's her big family that's the stumbling point I think.   we'll see.

[they've_been_suckered]

3 hours ago, PapofGlencoe said:

Yeah, that's it. i'm probably more 50 between the two of us but it's due to too many weddings.  couldn't afford 100 a time but aye that's the idea.  I'm getting invited to around 4-5 a year at the moment.

I'm actually a fairly happy go lucky bloke but i'm actually worried about getting married.  Simply can't afford 15-20k on one day and even if i could I wouldn't want to.  About a million things i'd rather spend my money on...and she's the same.  

Also, discouraged because everyone seems to invite us to weddings and it seems to be the done thing to invite someone back to yours.  The girlfriend's parents' both have massive families as well.  

I have a few groups of friends that would probably be a bit miffed if they didn't get invited all day.  It starts to put the numbers up.  50 a head, and that's probably cheap.

I'm seriously wondering if it would be frowned upon to just have 40 people or so during the day and hoardes at night only.  All those day invites we've been to is coming back to haunt!

 

£50 per head is probably excessive in some people's eyes but that was roughly my figure. I cut out all the nonsense to stop it going any further north of £12k. none of the following were allowed; Illumintated dance floor, candy bar/chocolate fountain, ridiculous table decorations.

i spent some of that money saved on buying everyone a good 3-4 drinks in a package and some decent food along with an excellent band. 

I had 90 day guests (limited by ceremony space) but the missus and family went mental at night and invited practically everyone they'd ever met. Thankfully I didn't inform the hotel about these people so they were "free"

if I could go back I'd have a smaller event possibly abroad and invest the saved cash into my house. 

[Kirk]

8 hours ago, Potted Heid said:

Is having a list basically just asking for a type of present, and the whole point of those things being that they are meant to be voluntary, and the amount spent at the giver's discretion?

I have always bought a wedding present when invited, but never off of any list, as a point of principle.

 

Yep me and the gf are the same, always buy something of our choosing.

[Ormond]

9 hours ago, Parklife said:

Get married abroad and tell folk they're welcome to come if they want but are under no obligation to do so. 

If i get married, that's what i'll be doing. 

A guy who works with my Wife and was born in Poland is doing that by getting married in Krakow next year. Nobody here is under any obligation but the Wife and I are going to go. It'll be weird travelling back to Europe to go to a wedding that isn't at home.

Edited April 5, 2017 by Ormond

[dandydunn]

On 05/04/2017 at 0:09 PM, Parklife said:

Get married abroad and tell folk they're welcome to come if they want but are under no obligation to do so. 

If i get married, that's what i'll be doing. 

That's what we did for our 2nd innings....

[euan2020]

I got married abroad - but then again she was South African

Wedding was Wine Estate - iMeal at Wine Estate (good quality) was around GBP 15 a head

we spent around 6-8K but number floats around with x-rate & handled around 120 guest with free bar for beers and ciders, 40 bottles of wine,& bar didn't run out - decoration is what screws you  

[killiefaetheferry]

On 05/04/2017 at 0:09 PM, Parklife said:

Get married abroad and tell folk they're welcome to come if they want but are under no obligation to do so. 

If i get married, that's what i'll be doing. 

I mentioned earlier that we went abroad - we went to our favourite village in the Mani region of Greece. We had got engaged there so it was always a candidate. What sealed it was when we started to talk about 'wedding stuff' and quickly agreed 'fekc this' as we began to get bogged down with all the decisions and details, who to invite etc. We got married in the town hall by the mayor. It was still a full on wedding with kilts and themed decor etc but it seemed fun to do as it all felt like a holiday. The only pain was a couple of trips to London for documents at the Greek Embassy.

As suggested above, we were very polite in sending invitations to people but stating that we realised our decision meant it was unlikely we would see them in Greece but that they were welcome if they could make it. 50 did but we had no problems with venues as there were loads of spaced with nice outside areas. We had the wedding meal at night, outside as the sun went down, followed by Greek dancers (no plates were damaged !) and then our own playlist for a bit of a disco until about midnight.

We managed to enjoy ourselves and it all felt less stressful than I think it would have been getting married at home.

[thewolf_1980]

On 05/04/2017 at 10:33 AM, Parklife said:

Yeah, that's what i do if i've been invited to a wedding. The way i see it is that it probably costs around £50/head to have folk there, so i'll give them that. Plus a bit extra if i really like them or if it's a fancier wedding. 

Nearer £70/head for my wedding and it wasn't particularly fancy. That included £4/head for seat covers which was not a specific item in our wedding budget. We had 150 folk at our wedding so spending £600 on white sheets to sit on a chair was an unfortunate surprise to me...

 

On 05/04/2017 at 0:09 PM, Parklife said:

Get married abroad and tell folk they're welcome to come if they want but are under no obligation to do so. 

If i get married, that's what i'll be doing. 

My wife's cousin got married in a 5 star, half-board hotel in a remote part of Cyprus and she was asked to be one of the bridesmaids. We were 'compelled' to attend and spend £3,500 for a 10 day holiday in the same resort as the wedding, excluding spending money. Not even all inclusive. On that occasion, we did feel obligated to go.

[dandydunn]

2 hours ago, thewolf_1980 said:

Nearer £70/head for my wedding and it wasn't particularly fancy. That included £4/head for seat covers which was not a specific item in our wedding budget. We had 150 folk at our wedding so spending £600 on white sheets to sit on a chair was an unfortunate surprise to me...

 

My wife's cousin got married in a 5 star, half-board hotel in a remote part of Cyprus and she was asked to be one of the bridesmaids. We were 'compelled' to attend and spend £3,500 for a 10 day holiday in the same resort as the wedding, excluding spending money. Not even all inclusive. On that occasion, we did feel obligated to go.

It doesn't have to go that far though. 

We went away and people came and went at various times of our time away. 

My folks arrived before us,left the day after the wedding,2 best men arrived on the Saturday and left again on the Wednesday,wife's bridesmaids,dad and his partner arrived on the Sunday and stayed there after we left,her dad didn't even stay in the same hotel. 

Its all what you make it,it can be as cheap or as expensive as you want,I would hate to think that people came to our wedding because they felt they had to.