bonzo Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 😄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orraloon Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 🦔 🦔 🦔 🦔 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted May 10, 2022 Share Posted May 10, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbo cop Posted May 11, 2022 Share Posted May 11, 2022 A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.. You're crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking BA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "BA?" exclaimed the hairdresser.. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?" "We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste." "Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump." "We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it..." A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of BA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a £5 million remodelling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!" "Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I bet you didn't get to see the Pope." "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me" "Oh, really! What'd he say ?" He said: "Who the F*** did your hair?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted May 11, 2022 Share Posted May 11, 2022 20 minutes ago, robbo cop said: A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.. You're crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking BA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "BA?" exclaimed the hairdresser.. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?" "We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste." "Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump." "We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it..." A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of BA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a £5 million remodelling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!" "Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I bet you didn't get to see the Pope." "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me" "Oh, really! What'd he say ?" He said: "Who the F*** did your hair?" 😂😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted May 11, 2022 Share Posted May 11, 2022 😆 😆 😆 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 For @fringo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 😄👆 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted May 13, 2022 Share Posted May 13, 2022 😆 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Och Aye Posted May 18, 2022 Share Posted May 18, 2022 Should really have put this in the News thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted May 19, 2022 Share Posted May 19, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted May 19, 2022 Share Posted May 19, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted May 24, 2022 Share Posted May 24, 2022 From a year ago 😁 Irn Bru ad pre Euros. https://www.facebook.com/irnbru/videos/767524103962457 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted May 28, 2022 Share Posted May 28, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbo cop Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 I hear the Proclaimer's lawn is getting out of control and they are blaming B&Q. They've been to Bathgate, no mower, Linwood no mower, Irvine no mower, Methil no mower....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanderark14 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 On 6/3/2022 at 1:38 PM, robbo cop said: I hear the Proclaimer's lawn is getting out of control and they are blaming B&Q. They've been to Bathgate, no mower, Linwood no mower, Irvine no mower, Methil no mower....... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted June 20, 2022 Share Posted June 20, 2022 "Waiter, I'll have what he's having." "You can't sir." "Why not?" "Because he's having it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted June 20, 2022 Share Posted June 20, 2022 When I lost my fingers in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I'd be able to use my hand again. He said, "Probably, but I wouldn't count on it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted June 21, 2022 Share Posted June 21, 2022 VID-20220621-WA0001.mp4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Och Aye Posted June 21, 2022 Share Posted June 21, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted June 22, 2022 Share Posted June 22, 2022 😄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted June 24, 2022 Share Posted June 24, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted June 24, 2022 Share Posted June 24, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbo cop Posted June 28, 2022 Share Posted June 28, 2022 Teacher in a Glesga primary tells the kids that every Friday lunchtime she will give them a famous quote and whoever gets it right can go home early. First time she asks who said "an army marches on its stomach?" Jock's hand goes up but is ignored. Teacher asks kid at front who answers in a posh English voice"Napoleon Bonaparte miss." Correct Simon off you go. Jock is raging and swots up all week, come Friday he is primed. Teacher asks who said "we will fight them on the beaches?" Jock's arm is up like a shot but again she ignores him and asks another kid who says in a really posh English voice "Winston Churchill miss" Correct Tristan off you go. Jock's disgusted and says where did all these English c**ts come from. Teacher says"who said that?" Jock goes "William Wallace,see you Monday!" 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted July 6, 2022 Share Posted July 6, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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