andymac Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 Classy lady like you must be from Paisley. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jock strap Posted October 25, 2016 Author Share Posted October 25, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orraloon Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 I think the muslims have got this one right. One hand for eating with, the other for wiping your erse. Not at the same time preferably. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euan2020 Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 1 hour ago, Orraloon said: I think the muslims have got this one right. One hand for eating with, the other for wiping your erse. Not at the same time preferably. what about if its a kebab ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ormond Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 4 hours ago, euan2020 said: what about if its a kebab ? Same taste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orraloon Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 8 hours ago, euan2020 said: what about if its a kebab ? I wouldn't risk wiping my erse with a kebab, just in case it's a really hot, nippy one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 12 hours ago, andymac said: Classy lady like you must be from Paisley. ?? Class A in Paisley I think you will find. Class is overrated and no fun whatsoever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jock strap Posted October 26, 2016 Author Share Posted October 26, 2016 So I've finally established the hints and tips to be mobile in one hand, kebab in the other and wipe with a spare pair or boxers. Thinking I need 3 hands for that but I'll figure it out. Where would I be without the sound advice of the TAMB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euan2020 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 23 hours ago, TDYER63 said: ?? Class A in Paisley I think you will find. Class is overrated and no fun whatsoever. whats this story that women flush as soon as stool hits the water, so no smell ? ie - if poop 3 times in 1 sitting - there are 3 flushes ? Just imagining this as olympic sport for women, with quick reflexes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McDange Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 4 hours ago, euan2020 said: whats this story that women flush as soon as stool hits the water, so no smell ? ie - if poop 3 times in 1 sitting - there are 3 flushes ? Just imagining this as olympic sport for women, with quick reflexes A courtesy flush is good manners sometimes. Especially after a night on the Guinness... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 6 hours ago, euan2020 said: whats this story that women flush as soon as stool hits the water, so no smell ? ie - if poop 3 times in 1 sitting - there are 3 flushes ? Just imagining this as olympic sport for women, with quick reflexes Yes, I have heard that story too but personally do not partake in that particular ritual. If it is a large poo that sticks out of the water I suppose their could be merit in this theory however if it is a wee lady poo which is small enough to be submerged in the water I would imagine the smell is stifled anyway. I do of course have no scientific evidence to back this up. Where is Phart ( no pun indended) when you need him? I can however confirm that women regularly fill the pan with toilet paper to deafen the noise of a pee. Apologies to all my fellow lady Tambers for giving these top secrets away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euan2020 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 (edited) 5 minutes ago, TDYER63 said: Yes, I have heard that story too but personally do not partake in that particular ritual. If it is a large poo that sticks out of the water I suppose their could be merit in this theory however if it is a wee lady poo which is small enough to be submerged in the water I would imagine the smell is stifled anyway. I do of course have no scientific evidence to back this up. Where is Phart ( no pun indended) when you need him? I can however confirm that women regularly fill the pan with toilet paper to deafen the noise of a pee. Apologies to all my fellow lady Tambers for giving these top secrets away. was my wife who said she does the quick flush when in public toilets I was at Police Station in Cape Town, few months back, and was speaking to 2 of the staff women's toilet was right next to accounts section, which is where i was - 1 of them took off to the toilet not shutting the outside door I could hear here pissing like a horse Edited October 27, 2016 by euan2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mindimoo Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 5 hours ago, TDYER63 said: Yes, I have heard that story too but personally do not partake in that particular ritual. If it is a large poo that sticks out of the water I suppose their could be merit in this theory however if it is a wee lady poo which is small enough to be submerged in the water I would imagine the smell is stifled anyway. I do of course have no scientific evidence to back this up. Where is Phart ( no pun indended) when you need him? I can however confirm that women regularly fill the pan with toilet paper to deafen the noise of a pee. Apologies to all my fellow lady Tambers for giving these top secrets away. No secret and entirely accurate! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Why are women so embarrassed to pee. Its perfectly natural,I can understand they don't like leaving the smells after a few proseccos and a kebab the night before,but again totally natural. On a slight tangent,when I've to go into female toilets,I obviously get a female to check them first and the amount of lassies that have came out afterwards with bright red faces from the smell they've left makes the job all the more worthwhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orraloon Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 10 minutes ago, dandydunn said: Why are women so embarrassed to pee. Its perfectly natural,I can understand they don't like leaving the smells after a few proseccos and a kebab the night before,but again totally natural. On a slight tangent,when I've to go into female toilets,I obviously get a female to check them first and the amount of lassies that have came out afterwards with bright red faces from the smell they've left makes the job all the more worthwhile. Sounds like you have a very unusual job. Are you an official ladies toilet sniffer? I'm not surprised some of the lassies get red faces, after finding out they have been part of your toilet sniffing survey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deecie Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 4 minutes ago, Orraloon said: Sounds like you have a very unusual job. Are you an official ladies toilet sniffer? I'm not surprised some of the lassies get red faces, after finding out they have been part of your toilet sniffing survey. Plumber...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orraloon Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 3 minutes ago, deecie said: Plumber...? Aye, she'd have a red face after that right enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 26 minutes ago, deecie said: Plumber...? Close. Educated tradesman. Sparkie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euan2020 Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 some females are not fussed and just need to go I've driven past females in Italy pissing on side of road on dual carriageway In South Africa folks are doing 1000 km drives and sometimes the rest stops are not too frequent - so if you got to go you got to go - with Lorry Drivers honking at the females as they drive past, as they are trying to do a shyte Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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