Mindimoo Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 (edited) Oh Mindi, you've possibly opened up a Pandora's box of crap seasonal jokes now Here's a starter or two - - Why is The Great British Bake-Off like the nativity? Because the Star is in the Yeast. - What do you get if you eat all the Christmas decorations? Tinselitis - Why did the bacon laugh? Because the egg cracked a yolk. Edited December 23, 2014 by fringo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mindimoo Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 (edited) This one's not a cracker gag but made me chortle Edited December 23, 2014 by fringo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mindimoo Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mindimoo Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 What goes in hard & dry & comes out soft & wet? chewing gum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 What did the Alien say to the garden? "Take me to your weeder" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred_Zeppelin Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittymeister Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Why don't Polar Bears eat Penguins? They can't get the wrappers off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Can't believe Flure's not all over this thread yet. Quick, get your crackers in now ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perthTam Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redstevie007 Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg. Genius Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Why did the man sleep under the car? So he could wake up oily in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mindimoo Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 Genius I'd like to take the credit for that one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daddybuc16 Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 This one's not a cracker gag but made me chortle :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redstevie007 Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 This one's not a cracker gag but made me chortle Nicked for CouponBook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TartanJon Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Why are there no pain killers in the jungle ? Cause the parrots ate them all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Still no Flure.................................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daddybuc16 Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Still no Flure.................................. What have ye done with him? Last year i started drinking advocaat in the morning. After that things just snowballed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mindimoo Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 What have ye done with him? Last year i started drinking advocaat in the morning. After that things just snowballed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 What have ye done with him? Last year i started drinking advocaat in the morning. After that things just snowballed. He's maybe having a nap before Christmas Eve. Busy 24 hrs for him at this time of year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mindimoo Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 He's maybe having a nap before Christmas Eve. Busy 24 hrs for him at this time of year. Aye, he's giving all his staff their "Christmas presents". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Aye, he's giving all his staff their "Christmas presents". Getting his butler to chuck out 100 oranges doesn't take that long surely ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally Bongo Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Why did the mushroom get invites to all the parties ? Cos he was a fungi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirk Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 What do snowmen eat for breakfast?? Ice Krispes Or Snow Flakes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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