Armchair Bob

Aye, why not Rothesay? If it is the right time of year, you can even get the Waverley paddle steamer from the centre of Glasgow. (ach just checked - it's not on the Clyde this autumn) http://loveofscotland.blogspot.co.uk/2010/10/isle-of-rothesay.html

Here's a fusion joke, containing elements of five other jokes. As a result, it should be five times funnier than any normal joke. Two skeletons are enjoying oral sex together, when he notices a piece of paper hanging out her pocket, and starts plucking out her pubic hairs. Suddenly a voice from the cupboard says, " the bees!"

Whilst Debbie may be inspirational (my own inspiration is Jamie Andrews) theres no point in the likes of us exacerbating an injury and having trouble waking for the next couple of months just to do a fun run...

Putin's inexplicably missing on the Alex Salmond Dictator Comparison Bingo card - need to get that added:

"Robinson said he had taken several personal lessons from the episode" Telling the fecking truth would hopefully be one lesson but I wouldn't hold my breath.

There's a line in Princess Bride where a character says "inconceivable!" about something that is actually happening. Another character says "that word - I don't think it means what you think it does." Anyway, Dugdale, socialism, that.

Puddles Pity Party.

Apparently.

He wasn't particularly welcome in Ireland either - popping over whilst they were having a famine and killing Irishmen - no big difference to the English from an Irish point of view. From a Scottish point of view though, the post-Bannockburn period was quite something - retaking Berwick, exacting tribute from across Northumberland and Tynedale, causing the Earl of Cumberland in Carlisle to switch sides and marauding at will across northern England. All ended pretty soon after Bruce died though.

I love it when people quote 'PC gone mad' when it is clearly not a PC issue, for example having to wear safety equipment to deal with an asbestos roof (something my father in law has also done).

I used to do cold calling. Mori opinion polls, so it could have been worse. Had to work during Euro 2004 - is there any point? I asked the supervisor, but whatever came up on the system was what we had to do, i.e. phone up a bunch of people in the East Midlands and ask them questions about social attitudes and consumer preferences. I remember the sheer sense of disbelief and anger in some of the voices when I was interrupting their viewing of England v Croatia and to be honest, I perfectly sympathised with them.

Hawick 10k for me at the end of the month. Embdy else doing this one?

Spade is a new one on me. The missus fell out with her dad recently over his use of the 'n' word - he sees nothing wrong with it and reckons *he* is the one wronged for being unfairly chastised. I wonder if in 40 years time that will be me with my daughter, and the word 'spade'?

2 things - if 50mins is flat out for a 10k, then 1hr 40 pace is pretty quick for a half. The other is that you might just be needing a wee bit of rehydration for the longer distance - a half cup of powerade every 5km (including just before you start) works for me.

Nae bad for an ugly auld khunt frae Paisley.

Got a strong urge to get shit faced and watch the Blues.Brothers right now. "Illinois Nazis? I hate Illinois Nazis."

Ted 2 should be remade. With an entirely different plot, involving a buddy roadtrip across America to deliver a load of weed.

Flash Gordon The Blues Brothers

1. switch your phone off. 2. go round to your mate's house and pish through his letterbox.

Is Corbyn going to be the 21st century's Cromwell - a leader who overthrew the English establishment and whose policies the Scots basically agree with, but resent the fact he'll send the tanks in if we even consider a second referendum??

Subjection? We're the only part of the UK that has voted to remain

I've always thought the way to get tourists to Lanarkshire is to turn the county into a tolerance zone for soft drugs. Think of all the pot heads who would flock to the brown cafe scene that would flourish after such a change, bringing money into the economy of an otherwise unvisited part of Scotland.

It's a good point. Might have to book myself a wee city break somewhere abroad.

St Kilda? Iona? Scalasaig? In what way are places with less than 100 population (0 in the case of St Kilda) towns? And where is Dalkeith, Eyemouth, Haddington, Kirkcudbright, Selkirk, Melrose, Montrose? Despite that, I've still been to 81 of them. One or two gems of Ayrshire/Renfrewshire I've managed to avoid.

I'd move to New Zealand if that became the national flag. What an absolute belter.