Have a couple of pals who I know get involved in all that kind of stuff on occasion.
i can see how it happens though, it's easy to get carried away on the bevvying so can imagine it's a similar situation with the white stuff.
Having read your post id say you need to seek some help, I'm sure you can call FRANK or something similar. Talking it through with someone who's trained to deal with these issues is a positive step I'd say.
Ps. I'm the sensible pal in my crowd