Wibble

The weekend will see me, tanned - just like every other. I do reckon there will be folk, down here, that will not be best pleased if the Yes vote prevails. In fact, I reckon it will kick off in some quarters - pubs. If it's a goer, I will revel in winding some cnuts up; if it's a No, I will pretend I don't care. With no vote, I'm ambivalent, at best. Any, must dash, I'm off on a big adventure in Manchester. (Last night I lost ma wallet, bins and sanity... two of which turned up this afto in the Crown.) For J Strap... Cheerie-bye!!!!!

He was a fuqqin' hypocrite, though. Give peas a chance... aye, but his wife had a chilled room in their apartment for her fur coats. Relevance? Maybe not, but anyone, not an Eskimo - sorry, Inuit - who wears one for vanity is a cnut in ma book. (It's a wee book.)

Rangers' polo top. Was it the groom? If not - WGaF? There are no standards any more, anyway.

Mull of Kuntyre....

Flashers? Seem to recall getting what was left of your stock - when I was sober - in some piazza in Warsaw in March. And, once again, I returned home with none. Save me a dozen.

We have plans for you.

... and playing intae the hands of the 'No' campaigners, John. The UK loves and underdog and, with daftie getting egged, it gives the detractors of independence a puir, wee victim to nail their colours to.

The DM is full of shite on this, of course... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2737935/Id-play-Scotland-independent-says-Andy-Murray-doesnt-think-likely.html

But be aware - he'll be there. Any spaerr change, guv?

Coats & 'Ats? I shall be nekkid, from the waist down. Phew - wot a scorcher!

Just turn up - you'll get one.

No place for this type of thing. If it was because he was wearing a green cat suit, fair enough, but not 'cause of his politics - it's wrong. I used to rate the guy, not any more, but he's entitled to his beliefs, however skewed they are. IMHO. That said, if you sup wi' the devil, you need a long spoon.

Yer arse! She is/was subliminal. I have bought none of her stuff, but she is a true musical icon - and a decent pair of baps, tae.

You're haunted by the ghosts of 50,000 chickens!!! You'll never be alone!!!

Then may I suggest you use something more apt. (Bloody riff-raff trying to bring the tone of the new Tamb doon.)

Huv ye ever tried? Pics?

x2! I see my warning has stayed the same though.

Me. I'll give you one shiny German Euro for five of your grubby Spanish ones. Got that 1:5? Your liver will thank me later.

Well, Mrs Craddock used tae scare me as a youngster.

Ma Fanny husnae!!!

No, because you are Mad 1. I enjoyed that break.