TDYER63

Too far. ? Like when you have watched Wile E Coyote get blown up for the billionith time and he is still alive, when a script becomes too unbelievable the humour is lost.

Yes, a woman can never have too many hoovers..

Nope. I am relatively sure I would remember bringing a hoover back with me. You were having a moan on a thread a while ago about never being able to please women and i said you were obviously doing something wrong. You were highly indignant that you had bought your girlfriend a hoover for her birthday and couldnae understand why she chucked you. At least I think it was you. Could have been another Fermer I suppose, there are so many of you. Anyway, I have taken on board your comments about my name. I have thought long and hard to come up with a classy, original scottish name. How about ' Fermers Wife' . I come with my own hoover.

Hahaha , dont panic ! Donny Osmond is still my wall pin up.... I do have a good memory for trivia. And anything related to food.

He would never understand creme egg etiquette, would he Ormond ?

I am from the moon . But i am the wee woman on the moon , no the man .

I wasnt trying to be classy or original , i thought you were quite quaint in your drunkeness and thought i would accompany it with a quaint saying . But carry on .

Ps , are you still trying to woo the ladies with a hoover ?

Would bring a tear to a glass eye .

Scottish people eating scottish food? Now there's a novel idea. You need to change peoples mindset. Chinese and Indian food, and kebabs, are like a national treasure and definetley compliment the booze culture. However If its tasty and affordable I cant see why Scottish food wouldnt work. Choice is good . Infact sometimes I actually look forward to my own food when i have worked myself through every takeaway in the village and every stale packet of bisuits in the cupboard. Think your friends idea is worth pursuing.

I was thinking more along the lines of a wee dog or cat . You can call it McGlashan if you want though . Please dont hurt me ...

I cant think of many uk tv programmes that make me really laugh. Its usually american cartoons I find funniest, from Tom and Jerry to The Simpsons. We need to come up with a scottish cartoon character, preferably based in Newtonmore, as according to google that is the most central place in Scotland. Then we can all guffaw to our hearts content without getting oneupmanship on which side of the country is funniest.

I agree that they are more likely to be ignorant of the facts rather than stupid. It doesnt help when, as has been previously mentioned, we seem to thrive on fast food. I live in a reasonably nice small village and there are 2 chinese takeaways, 2,indian takeaways, a chippy and a place that sells a mixture of everything . They must all be doing ok as they have all been opened for years. Its a ridiculous amount of outlets given the number of people who live there.......Says the person going home for a chinese takeaway tonight. I have however noticed a marked improvement in the standard of restaurants in Glasgow over the past few years. I dont know if this is being replicated in other cities . If so I would hope this will improve the country's reputation with visitors/tourists. Only by experiencing decent food in Scotland will views change. You can bang on about smoked salmon and scallops to anyone that will listen but if you then serve up a pile of poo, with fried mars bars to follow, it means absolutely nothing.

Its not a TV its a Magic Box ( as per wanky phrases) . And its magic cos weegies are on it. Pure magic infact.

Where have you been hiding Lulu ??

And the prize for ' how to win friends and influence people' goes to.... Its so bad you might be in a medal position . ?

We have gone from comedy to old firm to music to academics to writers in a few posts, with some animals thrown in . Anyway, whatever part of the country Brant is from wins hands down.

?? I am a proddy so I am allowed to laugh. Thankfully I am a West Coast Proddy with no interest in the old firm. Can anyone think of ANY good east coast comedians???

Well , at least we dont need to worry about more folk getting into debt under the new Term Funding Scheme. If banks pass on cheap debt I will gobble up my Greedy Banker hat and burst into one last chorus of Jesus Love Me.

If its not already been said on the thread, ' Love it ! ' Particularly when said in response to something pretty unremarkable.

This may be the ammunition I need to convince my husband we should get a dog . Thanks ?

He disnae read it either, he just looks at the pictures. I could never be married to someone who actually reads it.

Are you my husband in disguise? Thats exactly what he will say whilst shaking his Daily Mail at me. I have to be more cunning.

After an initial infantile snigger at the name ( sorry couldnt help it) i decided to check this breed out on google as i am not so familiar with hybrids. If i was ever seriously tempted to get a dog it would be one of those. I would of course have to say 'cockapoo' over and over again to get it out my system beforehand ?

Ah , so its you who buys all those 'happy birthday to my dog ' cards, always wondered who it was ? Nice story .