dandydunn

Burn the shed down. Better to be safe

I'm glad I make you laugh

I've received several fines for parking on the road outside my own house. Fukking students at rgu. I haven't paid one. Argued them all,now it's free again. I also got away with parking my van on union street pavement for 3 nights in a row when I was doing night shift. The only grief I got,was when the police phoned my work about a week later and my boss wasn't too happy. Just warned about our future parking,but to be fair,I did explain to a copper why I was parked there and he was fine with it,given it was between 10pm and 5am. My boss was even less impressed when he was tagged in a photo on Facebook of a young lady being fingered on top of my bonnet at said time

Comrade it. I give up.

I still don't know what arsepiece is

No,I'm not. You #####.No offence.

That's what I'm trying to work out

Arseholes Shitebag Hun Kilmarnock Ayr Bollocks Sheepshagger Shite ####er Knob Mate Pal Chum Buddy Retard

A strike of the ball,where he asked for it the other end of the pitch,took a touch and then hit it. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Because I mentioned before that I was pissed off about the change with my tattoo being the old one and I'm quite a big deal down that way,so it changed back. True story.

It's the same minus the pin stripes I think. It does look slightly better right enough tbf.

Plug your phone in at asda and press print on the photo machine.

That red card was quite funny. Be even better if he hit the ref with the ball.

Voucher hunting very unsuccessful. After 2 hours sleep and a stinking hangover I proceeded to absolutely rip one down the first,surprising not least myself,but my pals who sat watching and listening to me warble absolute shite all the way up the road. It all went wrong from there,apart from my approach at the last,a towering wedge from 104 yards which stopped dead about a foot from the hole. Everything else in between was pitiful to say the least. Ah well,onwards and upwards.

88/89? Wasn't rangers the same,but blue?

Was listening to northsound 2 commentary and The commentator says "we've been hearing that big Josh has head butted own team mate at the killer game",co commentator replies with "but it was only Jamie Hamill,so it's not a problem"

Seen this in person yesterday. The top and shorts are indeed different colours. Although the front and back are different colours and the shorts are the same colour as the back of the top. Looks a bit better in person,but the trim still looks shit.

She a good coach??

Yup

I used my step daughters head as something to aim at whilst practising my chipping in the living room today. Does that count at all? After all,1 shank and the golf ball would've been through the glass table. I've got a video to prove it,but think her mum would be upset with me posting it of her 14 year old daughter for strangers to view.

No. Not really.

An impact driver is just a battery version of a torque wrench really. It's for lazy people,like me.

Duff House on Sunday for the latest stage of my North East open voucher hunt.

Set it to the torque you want then wrench it up.

I had an unscheduled day off yesterday and managed 4 wanks while she was at work and the kids were at school.