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On 11/2/2019 at 4:27 PM, dandydunn said:

A Dundee lass goes for her first driving lesson. 
 

Instructor says to her “Now I know you’ve not dreved a car before, but do you know the basics? How many gears are there?”

”feve” she replies

”good, and what’s the speed limit on the motorway?”

”70” she tells him

”excellent, now where’s the horn?” for the final question

She instantly replies ”On the road between dundee & Perth”

cheeky cunt 😂

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Spotting that I'd only eaten half my pizza, the waitress at Pizza Express asked me : Do you want a box for that ?"


I replied : "No, but I'll wrestle you for it".

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A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said.
“Where?” he asked.
“Between the first and second hole.” she replied.
He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”

  • Haha 1

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21 minutes ago, fringo said:

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said.
“Where?” he asked.
“Between the first and second hole.” she replied.
He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”

:lol:

Every time I hear that joke it reminds me of this 

 

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Got to go back to my favourite years sgo on here. 

I think my burd is havin an affair. Gavin from Autoglass came round to insert some resin intae her crack. Shes no even got a fuckin motor.

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I’m just out of a Mexican fast food place for my denner scran today. There was a guy in front of me who looked exactly like George Michael. The wee Mexican lassie on the till asked him what he wanted with his burrito. He answered, "Well I guess it would be rice......."

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