Jokes - Page 2 - Anything Goes - Other topics not covered elsewhere - Tartan Army Message Board Jump to content

Recommended Posts

and one more

 

A guy goes into a Scottish baker's.

"How much is that cake?"

"A poond."

"And how much is that one?"

"A poond. All ma cakes are a poond!"

"Oh, OK. What about that one?"

"Ach, that one's two poonds."

"Oh. Why's that then?"

"That's Madeira cake."

 

😕

 

😀

Edited by fringo
Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, phart said:

That makes sense, the other one i couldn't stop seeing the fucking spaniel and obviously not an art fan so couldn't mind what it really looked like.

I was exactly the same. That pic popped up on Twitter the other day and I was like ‘ffs how did I no see that before?!’ before googling the original 😆

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any fucking bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any fucking bread, ask me again and I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar you irritating bastard of a bird!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A Dundee lass goes for her first driving lesson. 
 

Instructor says to her “Now I know you’ve not dreved a car before, but do you know the basics? How many gears are there?”

”feve” she replies

”good, and what’s the speed limit on the motorway?”

”70” she tells him

”excellent, now where’s the horn?” for the final question

She instantly replies ”On the road between dundee & Perth”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share




×
×
  • Create New...