fringo Posted July 7, 2022 Share Posted July 7, 2022 A guy walks into a dentist office. He says "Doc, you have to help me! I think I am a moth!" The Dentist says "I can't help you, I'm a dentist, you need a psychiatrist. Why did you even come in here?" The man replies "The light was on." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted July 7, 2022 Share Posted July 7, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted July 8, 2022 Share Posted July 8, 2022 😄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 IMG_4323.MOV Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbo cop Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that, despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Cilla says, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer. Lets go back to my 'ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun." So they went back to her place and got comfortable. After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together. Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma willie in your right hand." Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says, "Okay." He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before. Then Sean says, 'Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to......." "I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem hun." Cilla complies with the routine. The results this time are absolutely mind blowing. Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks. "Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in de other - does it really stimulate yer that much?" Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a scouser, the bitch stole ma wallet." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Och Aye Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 Went to the doctor. He said I have to stop masturbating. I asked why? He said because I'm trying to examine you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted July 20, 2022 Share Posted July 20, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted July 25, 2022 Share Posted July 25, 2022 VID-20220720-WA0010.mp4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted September 2, 2022 Share Posted September 2, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 I really need to confront my phobia of German sausages, but I fear the wurst. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 Police caught a man once eating fireworks and batteries... They didn't know whether to charge him or let him off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ger intae them Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 (edited) Did I ever tell you I have a Polish friend who is a sound technician? …. And a Czech one, two…..a Czech one, two. Edited September 16, 2022 by ger intae them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 4, 2022 Share Posted October 4, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 4, 2022 Share Posted October 4, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 4, 2022 Share Posted October 4, 2022 100 pocket watches stolen. Police are looking for man with time on his hands. A lorry load of glue has been spilt on the M4. Police are advising motorists to stick to their own lanes. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins. Police described the scene as a turtle disaster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted October 5, 2022 Share Posted October 5, 2022 17 hours ago, fringo said: 100 pocket watches stolen. Police are looking for man with time on his hands. A lorry load of glue has been spilt on the M4. Police are advising motorists to stick to their own lanes. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins. Police described the scene as a turtle disaster 😂😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted October 5, 2022 Share Posted October 5, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dan cake Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 A man in Tesco tries to buy half a cauliflower. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole cauliflowers. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, 'Some prat out there wants to buy half a cauliflower.' As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.' The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?' 'Aberdeen, sir,' the boy replied. 'Well, why did you leave Aberdeen?' the manager asked. The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and footballers up there.' 'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Aberdeen.' 'You're kidding?' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play for?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 Doctor: “Do you do sports?” Patient: “Does sex count?” Doctor: “Yes.” Patient: “Then no.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 😆 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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