wheres the pies Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 7 minutes ago, slasher said: My cousin is in hospital battling covid and has been in and out of ICU for the last 3 weeks. Now it seems he needs a lung op at the HCI in Clydebank. Anyway, the point is I've been lifting some of the jokes off here and sending him them in his more lucid moments. He seems to have gotten a wee lift from them so if anyone has any more...... keep them coming plz. I know someone who appreciates them 👍 all the best to your cousin slasher hope we on here can give him a wee lift by posting oor jokes some good some no so good 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 1 hour ago, slasher said: My cousin is in hospital battling covid and has been in and out of ICU for the last 3 weeks. Now it seems he needs a lung op at the HCI in Clydebank. Anyway, the point is I've been lifting some of the jokes off here and sending him them in his more lucid moments. He seems to have gotten a wee lift from them so if anyone has any more...... keep them coming plz. I know someone who appreciates them 👍 Hope he's better soon. We'll keep posting the crap jokes.....😀 Well. I only mean "crap" with my posts... I'm not accusing anyone else's of being crap.😆 I nick quite a few from here too and pass them on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 I used to be brilliant at robotic dancing. I'm a bit rusty now though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty CTA Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 1 hour ago, slasher said: My cousin is in hospital battling covid and has been in and out of ICU for the last 3 weeks. Now it seems he needs a lung op at the HCI in Clydebank. He's on my prayer list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 40 minutes ago, wheres the pies said: S’now Def Leopard is it ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 2 hours ago, TDYER63 said: S’now Def Leopard is it ?? Don’t really know what to call them words fail me 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slasher Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 Thanks guys, I've reached page 10 of the thread 😀 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 13 minutes ago, slasher said: Thanks guys, I've reached page 10 of the thread 😀 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duncan II Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 2 hours ago, wheres the pies said: Zip? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted February 20, 2021 Share Posted February 20, 2021 I started dating this girl who works at the zoo, I'm pretty sure she's a keeper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted February 20, 2021 Share Posted February 20, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Och Aye Posted February 20, 2021 Share Posted February 20, 2021 14 hours ago, duncan II said: Zip? He wears a belt with his joggy bottoms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted February 20, 2021 Share Posted February 20, 2021 14 hours ago, duncan II said: Zip? I’m sure some of us have sort of squeezed into a pair of trousers with a tight belt or perhaps a even tighter zip trying to get a pish and half the pish is doon your legs trying to open the zip or belt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolling hIlls Posted February 20, 2021 Share Posted February 20, 2021 Went to see my friend in hospital today. He got run over with a steam roller. He is in ward 9, 10 an 11. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted February 21, 2021 Share Posted February 21, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orraloon Posted February 21, 2021 Share Posted February 21, 2021 9 minutes ago, bonzo said: That made me chuckle. You know what they say about big noses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colins96 Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 A man phones up Dublin airport and says "excuse me, can you tell me how long it takes the jumbo to fly from Dublin to New York? The girl says "just a min sir" "good god that is Fantasic!!" and he put the phone down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 2 hours ago, fringo said: I had this experience tonight. Was flashing my lights at a car in front of me on the way home, got a couple of wanker hand gestures, eventually got alongside the car at a red light, a young lassie finally put her window down and screamed “what the fuck you wanker, stop flashing at me, I’m driving the speed limit” then proceeded to apologise and say thankyou when I told her that her rear lights weren’t working 😂😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 (edited) 33 minutes ago, dandydunn said: I had this experience tonight. Was flashing my lights at a car in front of me on the way home, got a couple of wanker hand gestures, eventually got alongside the car at a red light, a young lassie finally put her window down and screamed “what the fuck you wanker, stop flashing at me, I’m driving the speed limit” then proceeded to apologise and say thankyou when I told her that her rear lights weren’t working 😂😂 A few years back I actually experienced the Inbetweeners "bus wanker" moment when standing alone at an isolated bus stop. Couldn't help but laugh out loud a few seconds after the situation sunk in . 😄 Edited February 22, 2021 by fringo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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