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This guy called Simon on Stars in Your Eyes.

Matthew Kelly says, "I hear you have a sad story, why don't you tell the audience?"

So the guy says, "I was in a horrific car crash with my uncle. My uncle died and I lost both my legs. But the surgeon performed a miracle operation and transplanted my uncle's legs onto me".

Matthew say's "What an amazing story. So tell me, Simon from Liverpool, who are you going to be tonight?"

Guy says, "Well tonight Matthew, I'm going to be... Simon and half uncle".

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1 hour ago, Tiny Tim said:

This guy called Simon on Stars in Your Eyes.

Matthew Kelly says, "I hear you have a sad story, why don't you tell the audience?"

So the guy says, "I was in a horrific car crash with my uncle. My uncle died and I lost both my legs. But the surgeon performed a miracle operation and transplanted my uncle's legs onto me".

Matthew say's "What an amazing story. So tell me, Simon from Liverpool, who are you going to be tonight?"

Guy says, "Well tonight Matthew, I'm going to be... Simon and half uncle".

Ohya😄

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“Posh hotels have a turn-down service. I had never heard of this and there was a knock at the door and a woman said, ‘I’ve come to turn down your bed.’
To which I said, ‘Well many women have in the past. Why should you be any different?’”
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On 10/10/2020 at 7:57 AM, wheres the pies said:

53A852DA-C37D-419C-A10F-46E6DDA65860.jpeg

Not a joke but a true story. A girl I used to work with was in a play off for first prize in a pub quiz with her husband and another couple. Anyone from either team could shout out the answer to win. The question was, "What was Einstein's first name?"

She shouted out, "Frank!"

😮🤷🏻‍♂️

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12 hours ago, killiefaetheferry said:

Not a joke but a true story. A girl I used to work with was in a play off for first prize in a pub quiz with her husband and another couple. Anyone from either team could shout out the answer to win. The question was, "What was Einstein's first name?"

She shouted out, "Frank!"

😮🤷🏻‍♂️

😂😂😂

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On 10/16/2020 at 10:17 AM, killiefaetheferry said:

Not a joke but a true story. A girl I used to work with was in a play off for first prize in a pub quiz with her husband and another couple. Anyone from either team could shout out the answer to win. The question was, "What was Einstein's first name?"

She shouted out, "Frank!"

😮🤷🏻‍♂️

I had to read that 3 times before I got it . I was trying to think of a connection between Frank and Albert 🙄😁

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A ventriloquist is doing his act 1 night with his dummy on his knee, he starts going thru his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde shouts "I've heard enough! Wot does the colour of a persons hair have 2 do with their worth as a human being? Its men like u who keep woman like me from being respected!"

The red faced ventriloquist begins 2 apologise, but the blonde shouts "you stay out of this! I'm talkin 2 that little twat on your knee!"

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