WCTA Posted December 28, 2019 Share Posted December 28, 2019 IMG_2886.mp4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 Gone a bit quiet here so it's about time for a wee joke or two....... I was once applying for a blacksmiths job and was asked if I had any experience shoeing horses. I said no, but i once told a donkey to f*ck off... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Och Aye Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 This thread definitely needs resurrected. A guy has just driven by on a tractor shouting The End Is Nigh. Think it was Farmer Geddon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas Pete Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 How could you tell the scarecrow was good at his job? He was out standing in his field. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 I was sat on the edge of the bed last night, pulling off my boxers when the wife said to me : "You spoil those dogs" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killiefaetheferry Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 2 cows in a field. Which one is on holiday? The wan wi' the wee calf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 2 minutes ago, killiefaetheferry said: 2 cows in a field. Which one is on holiday? The wan wi' the wee calf. 10 cows in a field. Which one is from the Middle East ? Coo 8. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killiefaetheferry Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 4 minutes ago, fringo said: 10 cows in a field. Which one is from the Middle East ? Coo 8. Can I still do the Santa one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Och Aye Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 I came up with a brand new word today. Plagiarism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, killiefaetheferry said: Can I still do the Santa one? flintstones ? 😄 Not sure I recall the Santa one ? Edited March 26, 2020 by fringo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killiefaetheferry Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 12 minutes ago, fringo said: flintstones ? 😄 Not sure I recall the Santa one ? 50 Santas in a line. Which one is gay? Claus 28. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 What's the difference between folk in Dubai and those in Abu Dhabi ? Those in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but those in Abu Dhabi do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry Munro Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 17 minutes ago, fringo said: What's the difference between folk in Dubai and those in Abu Dhabi ? Those in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but those in Abu Dhabi do. That just made my daughter laugh lol. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 7 minutes ago, Terry Munro said: That just made my daughter laugh lol. Thanks Delighted to hear that. Plenty more crap jokes where that came from 😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 8 minutes ago, Terry Munro said: That just made my daughter laugh lol. Thanks Ask her - Q. What's orange and sounds like a parrot ? A. a carrot ☺️ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally Bongo Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 Over 30 years ago i heard a joke upstairs in The Courtyard pub in Hamilton I thought that it was that funny i actually just about did fall off the wee bar stool i was sitting on around the table Maybe it was because i was young and had 4 pints or maybe because i couldnt believe anyone would tell that kind of joke even in the late 80s Some will say it's observational but most will say it's racist stereotyping ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 6 minutes ago, Ally Bongo said: Over 30 years ago i heard a joke upstairs in The Courtyard pub in Hamilton I thought that it was that funny i actually just about did fall off the wee bar stool i was sitting on around the table Maybe it was because i was young and had 4 pints or maybe because i couldnt believe anyone would tell that kind of joke even in the late 80s Some will say it's observational but most will say it's racist stereotyping ... Waiting..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 13 minutes ago, Ally Bongo said: Over 30 years ago i heard a joke upstairs in The Courtyard pub in Hamilton I thought that it was that funny i actually just about did fall off the wee bar stool i was sitting on around the table Maybe it was because i was young and had 4 pints or maybe because i couldnt believe anyone would tell that kind of joke even in the late 80s Some will say it's observational but most will say it's racist stereotyping ... So............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally Bongo Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 (edited) It's funnier if you do the accents .... Over in Jamaica, Rastas and Marylou are packing to go their holidays. They are just about packed Marylou is in the bedroom and Rastas is in the living room Rastas shouts - "Marylou - have you seen my sunglasses ? Are they in the bedroom" Marylou - "No Rastas - I aint seen your sunglasses in here" Rastas shouts " Marylou - are my sunglasses in the bathroom" Marylou after checking " No Rastas - your sunglasses aint in here either" Marylou comes into the living room and Rastas is shaking his head saying " I cant find those sunglasses anywhere" Marylou cries out "Why Rastas - you are wearing your Sunglasses" Rastas - "They aint my sunglasses - they my nostrils" Edited March 26, 2020 by Ally Bongo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheres the pies Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Beem Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 Whats the difference between an egg and a wank ? You can beat an egg. 😳 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 What is white and wears tartan troosers? Rupert the fridge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman said, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job." The second woman responded, "Oh, that's nothing. I'm thinking of having my a**hole bleached!" "Whoa," replied the first woman. "I just can't picture your husband as a blonde! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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