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The Get It Off Your Chest Thread...


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53 minutes ago, phart said:

my recollection was sitting at traffic lights, will go back into the thread to see if the goalposts have been moved on me. BRB

Also my advice was to not look, nothing about straight ahead etc.

I guess if you're determined to make a point making stuff up in the short-term will make it stronger, but it sort of falls apart when everything is written down and available to both sides of the argument. ;)

I'm not making anything up. They've been suckered references brake lights, so does flure, so do I and so do you (in your post that I quoted). What was said 3 years ago in this thread is of no relevance. ;) 

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2 minutes ago, Parklife said:

I'm not making anything up. They've been suckered references brake lights, so does flure, so do I and so do you (in your post that I quoted). What was said 3 years ago in this thread is of no relevance. ;) 

" Got to admit "not looking" straight ahead is unusual driving advice."

Yet that wasn't the advice. You just flung my quote into a different sentence which changed its meaning.

But it's the TAMB and no one can admit they're wrong. Apart from me who did it no bother with Larky and the highway code just today, but i've stated my interpretation and know yours, so i'll move on.

 

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Just now, phart said:

" Got to admit "not looking" straight ahead is unusual driving advice."

Yet that wasn't the advice. You just flung my quote into a different sentence which changed its meaning.

But it's the TAMB and no one can admit they're wrong. Apart from me who did it no bother with Larky and the highway code just today, but i've stated my interpretation and know yours, so i'll move on.

 

I can admit I was wrong but I don't think I am. You said try not looking at the brake lights. I've no idea how I can do that, given that when in a traffic jam I have to look ahead (and at the brake lights) to know when I can go. 

I was just having a bit of a joke with my "unusual advice" comment :) 

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Just now, phart said:

" Got to admit "not looking" straight ahead is unusual driving advice."

Yet that wasn't the advice. You just flung my quote into a different sentence which changed its meaning.

But it's the TAMB and no one can admit they're wrong. Apart from me who did it no bother with Larky and the highway code just today, but i've stated my interpretation and know yours, so i'll move on.

 

I can admit I was wrong but I don't think I am. You said try not looking at the brake lights. I've no idea how I can do that, given that when in a traffic jam I have to look ahead (and at the brake lights) to know when I can go. 

I was just having a bit of a joke with my "unusual advice" comment :) 

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16 minutes ago, Parklife said:

I can admit I was wrong but I don't think I am. You said try not looking at the brake lights. I've no idea how I can do that, given that when in a traffic jam I have to look ahead (and at the brake lights) to know when I can go. 

I was just having a bit of a joke with my "unusual advice" comment :) 

I know man i'm just teasing. My eyes are really sensitive to light, for instance  camera flashes hurt them and everyone is always telling me to "not look at it" which is pointless advice.

 

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Point scoring wives, kids' tele and hangovers don't mix...

For only the second time in my daughter’s 2.5 years existence was I hungover and in charge as my wholly irresponsible wife took a last minute extra shift Sunday morning even though she knew I would boot the @rse out of my window of freedom at my work colleague’s wedding despite my empty promises to the contrary.  At 7 o’clock on the dot the 3 foot dynamo ball of chaos awoke immediately demanding attention and with some reticence I enquired what she wanted because the day before she’d asked for an elephant and a big cow with me currently in no fit state for conflict.  Luckily she wanted a pee, Coco Pops and Paw Patrol in that order; I would have kissed her but my mouth smelt like a tramp’s arse so just ruffled her hair instead. 

 

However, after only 3 episodes of Paw Patrol, and 15 proclamations ‘Chase was on the case’ I was willing to put my frazzled head through the tv.  Not only was this wee b@stard going full John Terry claiming all the glory from the rest of the team but I’d just spent £300 on vets bills.  What was needed here was a responsible cartoon adult to tell him in a firm voice to get out of the f**king tree and sit down unless he was willing to pay his own insurance – a kite costs a fiver but if you fall it’ll be thousands you f@nny!

 

Taking an executive decision I flicked to the new Tom & Jerry cartoons.  I thought Tom Hanks version of the Lady Killers would take some beating as the worst remake ever but these monstrosities set the bar much, much, much lower.  We lasted 2 episodes of this before I looked to the heavens and proffered a personal apology to Fred Quimby for what we’d done. 

 

Our next port of call was Mr Tumble whose work is truly admirable and my bundle of mental was fully ensconced.  I couldn’t shift the gnawing voice in my head though that Operation Bonsai  Tree in 2035 could destroy her childhood innocent memories so switched again.  Who could have known back in the day that the answer to ‘Can you guess what it is yet?’ was generally ‘Your cock Rolf’?. 

 

We then found Postman Pat which was my absolute favourite as an infant.  Since I’d last watched in 1985 Pat is married and got busy – although a bit mumsy still think Pat’s punching above his weight.   Given he’s a Postie she obviously loves him for his personality rather than money although what female could really resist the occasional copulation in the back of PAT1 whilst making Jess watch?

 

Even though they’ve called their offspring Julian I still presume they love him and on considering his future I hit a startling realisation.  Whilst they used to speak Gaelic 30 years ago, and Hamden Loon’s daily proclamations of doom, I now suspect Greendale is in Banff and Buchan and full to the brim with f**king tories!  Dr. Gilbertson never seems to be in practice cutting about in her flashy Morgan and has a sister in Wales with a castle so she’s not NHS and defo a tory. 

 

Farmer Alf will no doubt be a tory brexiteer who’ll be foaming at the mouth with the SNP when he doesn’t receive oodles of cash for his fallow fields aka Greendale Marsh.  In this episode Pat delivers him a drone to watch over his farm but what they don’t mention is that it has been custom fitted with machine guns to mow down Bulgarians if they slack off picking berries.    

 

Arthur the Policeman will no doubt be looking forward to getting down the lodge for a swally to toast a fellow brother’s election to the cooncil and the vicar is bound to be tory too.  Ajay, the train driver who is an immigrant from Mumbai, is presumably here on an Entrepreneur visa given he re-opened the trainline so with JC threatening renationalisation he is a certainty too. 

 

Mrs Goggins is an old wifey from the shop and keeps banging on about the good old days which presumably means the period before Ajay moved in and procreated.  She’s waiting on an urgent mail but is disappointed when Pat hasn’t got it.  Putting two and two together but reckon, after recent immigration cases, she is well aware of the income Ajay has to generate to stay in the country and is therefore awaiting feedback from Megabus to see if they’ll include Greendale in their Inverness to Aberdeen route in competition.  Even with the dementia tax she’ll still vote tory as she’ll just carrying on blaming the swarm of immigrants hitting the village and Natalie Surgeon for everything anyway.

 

Ben, who manages the sorting office, says every episode ‘Got a special delivery for you Pat’ but really he means ‘I’ve cocked up again Pat and need you to fix it’.  He forgot to buy bubble wrap for a fragile commemorative plate and none of the seven vehicles at their disposal has a refrigerated section when Pat was given an ice statue.  Ben is obviously too much of a pussy to admit to himself he is a tory though so, even worse, suspect given his fringe that he votes Lib Dem.  It’s no wander that postage is so bloody expensive though given Ben is so logistically challenged that Pat utilised 2 vans, a 4x4 jeep and a helicopter to deliver a camera from one side of Greendale to the other. 

 

Ben’s Mrs though looks like a Green and seems the sort who would blaze the campaign trail.  Unfortunately for her their daughter is paralysed and Pat’s probably delivering notification that her mobility scooter is to be confiscated whilst ATOS have deemed her fit enough to return to work as a papergirl so mum’s time is going to be otherwise engaged. 

 

So with a strong and stable hard Brexit hurtling their way free study will likely be out the window and without freedom of movement Julian’s local job options would seem to be berry picking, fixing Ben’s f**k ups or wiping old racist Goggins’ backside.  I was feeling sorry for poor old Pat then realised him and Ben are the only ones working at the sorting office so he has survived the privatisation staff cull and therefore suspect he could be an ‘I’m alright Jack’ too. 

 

Realising I was doing my typical hungover overthinking decided to take the wee lass to the park instead hoping fresh air and hill based shuttle runs would lead to an early nap before tagging mum back in to deal with the afternoon session.        

 

 

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 * Folk that think someone coming in and lending support means they are one and the same person *

I'm Jim and I am grim. Very.

The closest I've been to a warning/ban on here was Flure doing some self policing on me. If he's me, I'm in Psycho the mini series. Mother, what have you done?!?!

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Guest MorayCupMan

Getting scam phone calls at 8.30pm that use an area code near you....I was quite relaxed but now rather f##ked off

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11 hours ago, ThistleWhistle said:

Point scoring wives, kids' tele and hangovers don't mix...

For only the second time in my daughter’s 2.5 years existence was I hungover and in charge as my wholly irresponsible wife took a last minute extra shift Sunday morning even though she knew I would boot the @rse out of my window of freedom at my work colleague’s wedding despite my empty promises to the contrary.  At 7 o’clock on the dot the 3 foot dynamo ball of chaos awoke immediately demanding attention and with some reticence I enquired what she wanted because the day before she’d asked for an elephant and a big cow with me currently in no fit state for conflict.  Luckily she wanted a pee, Coco Pops and Paw Patrol in that order; I would have kissed her but my mouth smelt like a tramp’s arse so just ruffled her hair instead. 

 

However, after only 3 episodes of Paw Patrol, and 15 proclamations ‘Chase was on the case’ I was willing to put my frazzled head through the tv.  Not only was this wee b@stard going full John Terry claiming all the glory from the rest of the team but I’d just spent £300 on vets bills.  What was needed here was a responsible cartoon adult to tell him in a firm voice to get out of the f**king tree and sit down unless he was willing to pay his own insurance – a kite costs a fiver but if you fall it’ll be thousands you f@nny!

 

Taking an executive decision I flicked to the new Tom & Jerry cartoons.  I thought Tom Hanks version of the Lady Killers would take some beating as the worst remake ever but these monstrosities set the bar much, much, much lower.  We lasted 2 episodes of this before I looked to the heavens and proffered a personal apology to Fred Quimby for what we’d done. 

 

Our next port of call was Mr Tumble whose work is truly admirable and my bundle of mental was fully ensconced.  I couldn’t shift the gnawing voice in my head though that Operation Bonsai  Tree in 2035 could destroy her childhood innocent memories so switched again.  Who could have known back in the day that the answer to ‘Can you guess what it is yet?’ was generally ‘Your cock Rolf’?. 

 

We then found Postman Pat which was my absolute favourite as an infant.  Since I’d last watched in 1985 Pat is married and got busy – although a bit mumsy still think Pat’s punching above his weight.   Given he’s a Postie she obviously loves him for his personality rather than money although what female could really resist the occasional copulation in the back of PAT1 whilst making Jess watch?

 

Even though they’ve called their offspring Julian I still presume they love him and on considering his future I hit a startling realisation.  Whilst they used to speak Gaelic 30 years ago, and Hamden Loon’s daily proclamations of doom, I now suspect Greendale is in Banff and Buchan and full to the brim with f**king tories!  Dr. Gilbertson never seems to be in practice cutting about in her flashy Morgan and has a sister in Wales with a castle so she’s not NHS and defo a tory. 

 

Farmer Alf will no doubt be a tory brexiteer who’ll be foaming at the mouth with the SNP when he doesn’t receive oodles of cash for his fallow fields aka Greendale Marsh.  In this episode Pat delivers him a drone to watch over his farm but what they don’t mention is that it has been custom fitted with machine guns to mow down Bulgarians if they slack off picking berries.    

 

Arthur the Policeman will no doubt be looking forward to getting down the lodge for a swally to toast a fellow brother’s election to the cooncil and the vicar is bound to be tory too.  Ajay, the train driver who is an immigrant from Mumbai, is presumably here on an Entrepreneur visa given he re-opened the trainline so with JC threatening renationalisation he is a certainty too. 

 

Mrs Goggins is an old wifey from the shop and keeps banging on about the good old days which presumably means the period before Ajay moved in and procreated.  She’s waiting on an urgent mail but is disappointed when Pat hasn’t got it.  Putting two and two together but reckon, after recent immigration cases, she is well aware of the income Ajay has to generate to stay in the country and is therefore awaiting feedback from Megabus to see if they’ll include Greendale in their Inverness to Aberdeen route in competition.  Even with the dementia tax she’ll still vote tory as she’ll just carrying on blaming the swarm of immigrants hitting the village and Natalie Surgeon for everything anyway.

 

Ben, who manages the sorting office, says every episode ‘Got a special delivery for you Pat’ but really he means ‘I’ve cocked up again Pat and need you to fix it’.  He forgot to buy bubble wrap for a fragile commemorative plate and none of the seven vehicles at their disposal has a refrigerated section when Pat was given an ice statue.  Ben is obviously too much of a pussy to admit to himself he is a tory though so, even worse, suspect given his fringe that he votes Lib Dem.  It’s no wander that postage is so bloody expensive though given Ben is so logistically challenged that Pat utilised 2 vans, a 4x4 jeep and a helicopter to deliver a camera from one side of Greendale to the other. 

 

Ben’s Mrs though looks like a Green and seems the sort who would blaze the campaign trail.  Unfortunately for her their daughter is paralysed and Pat’s probably delivering notification that her mobility scooter is to be confiscated whilst ATOS have deemed her fit enough to return to work as a papergirl so mum’s time is going to be otherwise engaged. 

 

So with a strong and stable hard Brexit hurtling their way free study will likely be out the window and without freedom of movement Julian’s local job options would seem to be berry picking, fixing Ben’s f**k ups or wiping old racist Goggins’ backside.  I was feeling sorry for poor old Pat then realised him and Ben are the only ones working at the sorting office so he has survived the privatisation staff cull and therefore suspect he could be an ‘I’m alright Jack’ too. 

 

Realising I was doing my typical hungover overthinking decided to take the wee lass to the park instead hoping fresh air and hill based shuttle runs would lead to an early nap before tagging mum back in to deal with the afternoon session.        

 

 

??

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Guest flumax
On 2017-5-22 at 8:31 PM, ThistleWhistle said:

Point scoring wives, kids' tele and hangovers don't mix...

For only the second time in my daughter’s 2.5 years existence was I hungover and in charge as my wholly irresponsible wife took a last minute extra shift Sunday morning even though she knew I would boot the @rse out of my window of freedom at my work colleague’s wedding despite my empty promises to the contrary.  At 7 o’clock on the dot the 3 foot dynamo ball of chaos awoke immediately demanding attention and with some reticence I enquired what she wanted because the day before she’d asked for an elephant and a big cow with me currently in no fit state for conflict.  Luckily she wanted a pee, Coco Pops and Paw Patrol in that order; I would have kissed her but my mouth smelt like a tramp’s arse so just ruffled her hair instead. 

 

However, after only 3 episodes of Paw Patrol, and 15 proclamations ‘Chase was on the case’ I was willing to put my frazzled head through the tv.  Not only was this wee b@stard going full John Terry claiming all the glory from the rest of the team but I’d just spent £300 on vets bills.  What was needed here was a responsible cartoon adult to tell him in a firm voice to get out of the f**king tree and sit down unless he was willing to pay his own insurance – a kite costs a fiver but if you fall it’ll be thousands you f@nny!

 

Taking an executive decision I flicked to the new Tom & Jerry cartoons.  I thought Tom Hanks version of the Lady Killers would take some beating as the worst remake ever but these monstrosities set the bar much, much, much lower.  We lasted 2 episodes of this before I looked to the heavens and proffered a personal apology to Fred Quimby for what we’d done. 

 

Our next port of call was Mr Tumble whose work is truly admirable and my bundle of mental was fully ensconced.  I couldn’t shift the gnawing voice in my head though that Operation Bonsai  Tree in 2035 could destroy her childhood innocent memories so switched again.  Who could have known back in the day that the answer to ‘Can you guess what it is yet?’ was generally ‘Your cock Rolf’?. 

 

We then found Postman Pat which was my absolute favourite as an infant.  Since I’d last watched in 1985 Pat is married and got busy – although a bit mumsy still think Pat’s punching above his weight.   Given he’s a Postie she obviously loves him for his personality rather than money although what female could really resist the occasional copulation in the back of PAT1 whilst making Jess watch?

 

Even though they’ve called their offspring Julian I still presume they love him and on considering his future I hit a startling realisation.  Whilst they used to speak Gaelic 30 years ago, and Hamden Loon’s daily proclamations of doom, I now suspect Greendale is in Banff and Buchan and full to the brim with f**king tories!  Dr. Gilbertson never seems to be in practice cutting about in her flashy Morgan and has a sister in Wales with a castle so she’s not NHS and defo a tory. 

 

Farmer Alf will no doubt be a tory brexiteer who’ll be foaming at the mouth with the SNP when he doesn’t receive oodles of cash for his fallow fields aka Greendale Marsh.  In this episode Pat delivers him a drone to watch over his farm but what they don’t mention is that it has been custom fitted with machine guns to mow down Bulgarians if they slack off picking berries.    

 

Arthur the Policeman will no doubt be looking forward to getting down the lodge for a swally to toast a fellow brother’s election to the cooncil and the vicar is bound to be tory too.  Ajay, the train driver who is an immigrant from Mumbai, is presumably here on an Entrepreneur visa given he re-opened the trainline so with JC threatening renationalisation he is a certainty too. 

 

Mrs Goggins is an old wifey from the shop and keeps banging on about the good old days which presumably means the period before Ajay moved in and procreated.  She’s waiting on an urgent mail but is disappointed when Pat hasn’t got it.  Putting two and two together but reckon, after recent immigration cases, she is well aware of the income Ajay has to generate to stay in the country and is therefore awaiting feedback from Megabus to see if they’ll include Greendale in their Inverness to Aberdeen route in competition.  Even with the dementia tax she’ll still vote tory as she’ll just carrying on blaming the swarm of immigrants hitting the village and Natalie Surgeon for everything anyway.

 

Ben, who manages the sorting office, says every episode ‘Got a special delivery for you Pat’ but really he means ‘I’ve cocked up again Pat and need you to fix it’.  He forgot to buy bubble wrap for a fragile commemorative plate and none of the seven vehicles at their disposal has a refrigerated section when Pat was given an ice statue.  Ben is obviously too much of a pussy to admit to himself he is a tory though so, even worse, suspect given his fringe that he votes Lib Dem.  It’s no wander that postage is so bloody expensive though given Ben is so logistically challenged that Pat utilised 2 vans, a 4x4 jeep and a helicopter to deliver a camera from one side of Greendale to the other. 

 

Ben’s Mrs though looks like a Green and seems the sort who would blaze the campaign trail.  Unfortunately for her their daughter is paralysed and Pat’s probably delivering notification that her mobility scooter is to be confiscated whilst ATOS have deemed her fit enough to return to work as a papergirl so mum’s time is going to be otherwise engaged. 

 

So with a strong and stable hard Brexit hurtling their way free study will likely be out the window and without freedom of movement Julian’s local job options would seem to be berry picking, fixing Ben’s f**k ups or wiping old racist Goggins’ backside.  I was feeling sorry for poor old Pat then realised him and Ben are the only ones working at the sorting office so he has survived the privatisation staff cull and therefore suspect he could be an ‘I’m alright Jack’ too. 

 

Realising I was doing my typical hungover overthinking decided to take the wee lass to the park instead hoping fresh air and hill based shuttle runs would lead to an early nap before tagging mum back in to deal with the afternoon session.        

 

 

10 on 10. 

Wished I'd read that earlier in the week. Cheered me up no end. Thank you TW

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Angela Merkel - WHAT AN ARSEHOLE! :lol: Are Germans this pathetic now that she is favourite for another term. (yes they are)

I am happy with BREXIT meaning SCOTXIT as long as Merkel is running the EU. I will never vote for joining the EU with Merkel running it. Can I just emphasize never.

It is not about the EU v not EU. It is about Merkel EU v what we thought the EU was all about.

 

 

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We were flying back from our holidays the other day, I've always liked airports and flying, but you could probably do a whole topic on the moronic behaviour of folk in airports and on flights.

My particular annoyance travelling with 2 young kids is when they call forward those with young children, additional needs etc. But you can't get near the gate for middle aged couples and their trolley cases, as they need to be first on board to secure the overhead space so they're not separated from their Daily Express and bag of starburst.

inconsiderate auld buggers

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1 hour ago, sbcmfc said:

We were flying back from our holidays the other day, I've always liked airports and flying, but you could probably do a whole topic on the moronic behaviour of folk in airports and on flights.

My particular annoyance travelling with 2 young kids is when they call forward those with young children, additional needs etc. But you can't get near the gate for middle aged couples and their trolley cases, as they need to be first on board to secure the overhead space so they're not separated from their Daily Express and bag of starburst.

inconsiderate auld buggers

I hate the folk that rush to get on the plane, its no leaving without you. I like to be as close to last as possible as I hate waiting on the plane to take off. Overhead bag space can be an issue because of this but theres always a space somewhere. They should shoot folk with huge bags that are well over the size limit though, they dont take them off them enough and put them underneath.

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1 hour ago, sbcmfc said:

We were flying back from our holidays the other day, I've always liked airports and flying, but you could probably do a whole topic on the moronic behaviour of folk in airports and on flights.

My particular annoyance travelling with 2 young kids is when they call forward those with young children, additional needs etc. But you can't get near the gate for middle aged couples and their trolley cases, as they need to be first on board to secure the overhead space so they're not separated from their Daily Express and bag of starburst.

inconsiderate auld buggers

Airports are the best place to hammer home the fact that the vast majority of people are morons!! :lol:

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