TDYER63 Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 Mr Tidy and I were watching the assassination of Gianni Versace last night. The bloke who assassinated him had killed a few people before him but the FBI only seemed to ‘up’ the investigation when a VIP was killed. When the episode finished, and after 3 bottles of lager and 3 cans of McEwans Export, Mr Tidy jumped off the sofa and shouted loudly ‘Right ! I’m off to assassinate a celebrity ! ‘ . Unimpressed, but feeling I should at least feign some interest in his project, I asked who he intended assassinating. ‘WILLIE COLLUM !! he screeched enthusiastically. 😕 he’s hardly a VIP but my question to all of you is , which celebrity/vip would you assassinate given the chance? I am of course meaning hypothetically .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huddersfield Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 If you line Sting & Bono up correctly & get a high enough powered rifle, could you get a BOGOF deal on the two of them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted October 5, 2019 Author Share Posted October 5, 2019 5 minutes ago, Huddersfield said: If you line Sting & Bono up correctly & get a high enough powered rifle, could you get a BOGOF deal on the two of them? A popular choice no doubt and who could resist such a BOGOF offer. I would still however happily provide a stool to ensure Katie Hopkins’ head and shoulders were above them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WCTA Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 (edited) James Fucking Corden. There’s a reason he’s a success now in Yanksville. Childish humour we all chuckled at when we were 12. Edited October 5, 2019 by WCTA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanderark14 Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 23 minutes ago, WCTA said: James Fucking Corden. There’s a reason he’s a success now in Yanksville. Childish humour we all chuckled at when we were 12. Hey, fuck off. I enjoy childish humour but james Corden is a prick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark frae Crieff Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 4 hours ago, Huddersfield said: If you line Sting & Bono up correctly & get a high enough powered rifle, could you get a BOGOF deal on the two of them? I believe this may be what sir requires. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanderark14 Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 Piers Morgan or Ronaldo. I'll borrow the above cannon when huddersfield is done with bono and sting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phart Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 Tony Blair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shunkyboy and the fluffer Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 Sharon Osbourne or that prick Farage. Osbourne edges it though. Fucking despise her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irnbruman Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 Corden would be high on the list - tops probs Beckham , Clare Balding, Vanessa Feltz , Bojo, John Motson, Glenn Hoddle, the cast of the Made in Chelsea and the Only Way is Essex -especially that big fat ugly munter - in fact anyone from Essex full stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ger intae them Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 Cordon’s an absolute defo...... and never ever watch strictly come dancing, but that plastic surgery’d clown off it would get the high caliber two for one special. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted October 5, 2019 Author Share Posted October 5, 2019 1 hour ago, Mark frae Crieff said: I believe this may be what sir requires. That wouldn't even scrape Katie Hopkins thick skin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted October 5, 2019 Author Share Posted October 5, 2019 1 hour ago, vanderark14 said: Piers Morgan or Ronaldo. I'll borrow the above cannon when huddersfield is done with bono and sting In my Fantasy Assassin League, those 2 would be the ‘BOG2F deal of the day ‘ along with Ms Hopkins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted October 5, 2019 Author Share Posted October 5, 2019 1 hour ago, phart said: Tony Blair. Ah, the perfect revenge. To assassinate the original silent assassin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted October 5, 2019 Author Share Posted October 5, 2019 1 hour ago, irnbruman said: Corden would be high on the list - tops probs Beckham , Clare Balding, Vanessa Feltz , Bojo, John Motson, Glenn Hoddle, the cast of the Made in Chelsea and the Only Way is Essex -especially that big fat ugly munter - in fact anyone from Essex full stop. 😂😂 you are gonna need a bigger gun ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzo Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 1 hour ago, vanderark14 said: Piers Morgan or Ronaldo. I'll borrow the above cannon when huddersfield is done with bono and sting Jeez, in a wee dyslexic moment I thought I was getting it 🥺 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim Jim Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 2 hours ago, irnbruman said: Corden would be high on the list - tops probs Beckham , Clare Balding, Vanessa Feltz , Bojo, John Motson, Glenn Hoddle, the cast of the Made in Chelsea and the Only Way is Essex -especially that big fat ugly munter - in fact anyone from Essex full stop. Great list IBman, but why do you watch those programmes? 2 hours ago, ger intae them said: Cordon’s an absolute defo...... and never ever watch strictly come dancing, but that plastic surgery’d clown off it would get the high caliber two for one special. Aye right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WCTA Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 Prince William and Prince Harry. I’d love a good Paris tunnel job on that pair of cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slasher Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 My list is interchangeable but currently front and centre would be (1) Piers Morgan (obviously), (2) that annoying weather wummin off stv news (Laura Tobin I think) and (3) that insufferable SAS wank Ant Middleton, although I accept assassinating him might prove a bit tricky 🤔 I would also quite happily attack Jo 'I'm a mother to two young children' Swinson and that camp idiot who presents Sportscene results! 🤐 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanderark14 Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 Add katie price and serena Williams to my list Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kumnio Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 I’d like to nominate Jo Swinson, death by driving off a cliff. Oops, unfortunately she was driving a bus filled with Lib Dem MPs, obviously including former cunts as the current cunt list wouldn’t fill a minibus. All that’s left is her gap toothed jaw, or is that Willie Rennie, who knows, who cares. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WCTA Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 4 minutes ago, kumnio said: I’d like to nominate Jo Swinson, death by driving off a cliff. Oops, unfortunately she was driving a bus filled with Lib Dem MPs, obviously including former cunts as the current cunt list wouldn’t fill a minibus. All that’s left is her gap toothed jaw, or is that Willie Rennie, who knows, who cares. I’ve been wondering how long it would take you to notice this thread. 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kumnio Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 I can’t be bothered making another username, but I want another go. My nominee is Owen Jones, I find him to be beneath contempt, a truly insidious horrible two faced lying bastard, with absolutely no redeeming features. He damages the left by simply existing, I doubt he has ever done any good in his life. He is literally the last person on earth that you’d go to the pub with, there are racist, homophobic sexists that come above him, Milo Y for example, I disagree with everything about him, but he still comes across better than perennial victim Owen, and he’d be a laugh with a few pints. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kumnio Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 14 minutes ago, WCTA said: I’ve been wondering how long it would take you to notice this thread. 😂 I could write a cuntsaurus on this topic, whittling it down to even the last hundred would be hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cove_Sheep Posted October 6, 2019 Share Posted October 6, 2019 Can't believe Kev Umnio has posted a few times in this thread and my former MSP hasn't been mentioned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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