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1 hour ago, ThistleWhistle said:

 

Tier 3 Mayonnaise/ Cream:  Ring work and tell them self-isolating for a week; ring wife’s work and tell them she’s self-isolating for a week; ring school and tell them wee lass is self-isolating for a week and; ring Andy Burnham to see if he can get a couple of quid out of Boris to see us through the worst. 

 

 

 

I think you might have hit on the root of your problem here. I think you can do exercises to strengthen the ring muscles.

The anal sphincter is an amazing evolutionary development. Most of the time (clearly not always) it allows the free movement of gases whilst holding back liquids and solids. It is only relatively recently that humans have come up with the technology to manufacture something which can do a similar job.

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3 minutes ago, Orraloon said:

You shat yourself in a kebab house and it was so bad that they had to shut it down?

Nah mate - thought it would just be a dodgy pint or something but after about 4-5 days water was coming out of my arse pretty much seconds after going in my mouth; could actually hear it going through my system!  Had to scoop some of this liquid shit in a tube for tests and nurse told me environmental health would be in touch within 5 days if it was anything serious - they were around that afternoon asking where I'd ate in the last three weeks.  There were 4 others who had the same and we'd all been this kebab shop - when they visited they found rat shit; not wiping up raw chicken; food stored in the toilet; maggots; the 'chef' with a fag on over the cooking and was shut down instantly (was in the local paper). 

Ended up getting some rocket fuel medicine that was the medical equivalent of a cork because didn't then shit for days.  Was under 8 stone in a week with a belly like one of the kids on an Oxfam advert.   

Pissed up though still seem love a donner but me needing 5 shits though the night, or risking absolute disaster, really annoys my wife :)       

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 10/19/2020 at 10:40 AM, TDYER63 said:

I feel your pain . I am on Primark 2 lens. I buy 4 pairs at a time.
When my daughter was a baby I could not go anywhere without at least 3 dummies as she screamed so much. I would break out in a sweat if we forgot them.

I now break out in a sweat if I go anywhere without my specs , I can see the mother/child positions beginning to swap 😕

So how alcoholic is Peroni, lets check the bottle, got the 2.5's on, nope.

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31 minutes ago, bonzo said:

My first real job was in building preservation in about 1983 there was an auld brickie that worked with us and that was his tipple of choice 🤢.

My mum used Bellair hair lacquer ( as in ‘she put it on her hair’ she wasnt actually a ‘user ‘) when I was young. When she sent me to the chemist to get it I needed to have a letter from her to say it was for hair and not for consumption 😁

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4 hours ago, Lairdyfaeinverclyde said:

I was watching Just a Boy's Game a couple of nights ago (for the umpteenth time). Set in Greenock. Started to feel old seeing the old schemes were i used to run about. The fondest memory was when Dancer gave Bella a half bottle of Eldorado, memories.

It's on the BBC Scotland channel just now.

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4 minutes ago, bonzo said:

Love the Peter McDougall plays I've got Elephants graveyard, Just a boys game and Just another Saturday on DVD. 

Not seen J.A.S for a long time. The elephants graveyard is good. I was once an extra in one of his play's, Down were the Buffalo Go. Some of the scenes were filmed in the pub i used to drink in. Good work if you can get it. £30 a day for boozing (free) and playing snooker. Supposed to be beer coloured water but Ian McColl (Big Tam, City Lights) played the barman and kept pouring us real pints of lager. Unfortunately my chance of hollywood was lost when they cut the scene i was meant to be in.

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18 hours ago, Lairdyfaeinverclyde said:

Not seen J.A.S for a long time. The elephants graveyard is good. I was once an extra in one of his play's, Down were the Buffalo Go. Some of the scenes were filmed in the pub i used to drink in. Good work if you can get it. £30 a day for boozing (free) and playing snooker. Supposed to be beer coloured water but Ian McColl (Big Tam, City Lights) played the barman and kept pouring us real pints of lager. Unfortunately my chance of hollywood was lost when they cut the scene i was meant to be in.

Similar thing, about 1994 there was an advert in one of the papers looking for scooters to be used in a film. 8 of us went to Glasgow to see the casting guy, our scooters were mostly Vespa PXs and T5s and we were basically told to beat it because the scooters were too new. My mate on the other hand had a lammy Li 150 and they asked if they could use it and gave him £90 per day over around a week for his troubles. The film was the 60s gang movie Small Faces. None of the footage of the scooter was used in the film it all ended up on the cutting room floor but my mate was about £600 up.

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I did once read that a big problem with "Just Another Saturday" was that when it was first aired a lot of young boys sadly were too thick to get the message of the film. The orange order as a consequence saw a rise in membership from impressionable young men who had seen the film and thought being in that horrible organisation was a cool thing to do. 

Firstly, they didn't pay attention to the fact that the main character, John, admits he isn't even religious and doesn't know the theological differences between Catholics and Protestants.

Secondly, they didn't listen to the lecture John's father gives him at the end of the film where he correctly points out the stupidity of sectarianism and how many working class Scots had fallen into the establishments "divide and rule" trap to prevent them from uniting to fight for better things in life.

Thirdly, they ignore John's sinister, creepy, manipulative mother encouraging him to stay in the orange order purely so she can get back at her husband whom she hates.

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Just now, bonzo said:

Similar thing, about 1994 there was an advert in one of the papers looking for scooters to be used in a film. 8 of us went to Glasgow to see the casting guy, our scooters were mostly Vespa PXs and T5s and we were basically told to beat it because the scooters were too new. My mate on the other hand had a lammy Li 150 and they asked if they could use it and gave him £90 per day over around a week for his troubles. The film was the 60s gang movie Small Faces. None of the footage of the scooter was used in the film it all ended up on the cutting room floor but my mate was about £600 up.

This is for a new film 'To be someone'. Think it was due to be released in April this year?

Image may contain: 6 people, text that says "scream management CASTING CALL MODS & THEIR SCOOTERS NEEDED! We're looking for mods who own a scooter for fantastic filming opportunity November in Manchester you fit the bill, or are part of group, then please get in touch YOU MUST BE UNREPRESENTED 586L Please email info@screammanagement.com Add "SCOOTER" to the subject line Please include your NAME, DOB, and your CONTACT DETAILS Please also include RECENT PHOTO of yourself and YOUR SCOOTER"

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Just now, ErsatzThistle said:

I did once read that a big problem with "Just Another Saturday" was that when it was first aired a lot of young boys sadly were too thick to get the message of the film. The orange order as a consequence saw a rise in membership from impressionable young men who had seen the film and thought being in that horrible organisation was a cool thing to do. 

Firstly, they didn't pay attention to the fact that the main character, John, admits he isn't even religious and doesn't know the theological differences between Catholics and Protestants.

Secondly, they didn't listen to the lecture John's father gives him at the end of the film where he correctly points out the stupidity of sectarianism and how many working class Scots had fallen into the establishments "divide and rule" trap to prevent them from uniting to fight for better things in life.

Thirdly, they ignore John's sinister, creepy, manipulative mother encouraging him to stay in the orange order purely so she can get back at her husband whom she hates.

Yeh, can understand how it can be seen as a recruitment tool.

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19 minutes ago, Lairdyfaeinverclyde said:

Yeh, can understand how it can be seen as a recruitment tool.

It's the same problem they had with "Till Death Us Do Part" where they intended to make the racist old fool, Alf Garnett, the butt of the joke but unfortunately many people watching it at the time saw him as a kind of anti-hero who spoke for them.

Some daft teenage boys who saw "Just Another Saturday" when it was first broadcast were too dense to take in the films anti-sectarian message. The blood they saw on screen was fake, the punches and kicks they saw on screen were carefully choreographed - real life on the other hand .....

Edited by ErsatzThistle
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