UpTheSlope Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 (edited) Could anyone recommend a reliable company that provides dwarfs for stag-do’s and party nights? Im not looking for anything smutty, more along the lines of comedy Ive got an event in a few weeks time for a friend and some of us are warming to the idea of hiring a dwarf in fancy dress to say a few short words and present a gift which we are all chipping in for and who will perhaps handcuff himself to our unsuspecting mucker Has anyone used any of these company’s before and if so how reliable are they? The people providing these services are doing it of their own back. They aren’t being forced into it and are making the best of life and getting out of it what they can Edited April 23, 2019 by UpTheSlope Just to add.... I’m acknowledging fuck all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McTeeko Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 I still prefer the term ‘midget’ 👍🏼 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 I’ve been on a couple of staggers with this happening. It is a good laugh and the guys know exactly what they’re getting into. Best thing to remember is the “handcuffs are never removed” rule. If one needs a shite, they both go...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auchinyell Sox Change Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 53 minutes ago, UpTheSlope said: Could anyone recommend a reliable company that provides dwarfs for stag-do’s and party nights? Im not looking for anything smutty, more along the lines of comedy Ive got an event in a few weeks time for a friend and some of us are warming to the idea of hiring a dwarf in fancy dress to say a few short words and present a gift which we are all chipping in for and who will perhaps handcuff himself to our unsuspecting mucker Has anyone used any of these company’s before and if so how reliable are they? The people providing these services are doing it of their own back. They aren’t being forced into it and are making the best of life and getting out of it what they can You ve only got 5 more attempts at this..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Beem Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 I was on a stag weekend where the groom had hired one. Not really my thing to be honest. Boy seemed a decent enough wee chap but thought it was all a bit sad. I do remember when he left to drive home I noticed there was a massive cushion on the driver seat and wooden blocks on the pedals. To be honest that was the only thing I laughed at 🙈🤷♂️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-Man Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 I was called a “fucking twat of a cuntish dwarf.” last week in a supermarket car park so if you’d accept that as a reference pm me the date and how much pay you’re offering and I’ll check my diary. I notice you say “he”, I was mistaken for a drag queen in Tel Aviv so hopefully that’ll work for you too, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 17 minutes ago, Jim Beem said: I do remember when he left to drive home I noticed there was a massive cushion on the driver seat and wooden blocks on the pedals. To be honest that was the only thing I laughed at 🙈🤷♂️ 😂😂😂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thplinth Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 re-starting a banned thread used to be hefty suspension. the laissez-faire attitude on here has been a breath of fresh air... but every now and then mods of old... lace up the steel toe caps and boot some balls. this is a shit thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orraloon Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 40 minutes ago, G-Man said: I was called a “fucking twat of a cuntish dwarf.” last week in a supermarket car park so if you’d accept that as a reference pm me the date and how much pay you’re offering and I’ll check my diary. I notice you say “he”, I was mistaken for a drag queen in Tel Aviv so hopefully that’ll work for you too, Did you notice this bit? 1 hour ago, UpTheSlope said: Im not looking for anything smutty, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-Man Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 21 minutes ago, Orraloon said: Did you notice this bit? Thanks Orra I missed that part. Sorry Updoon that’s me out. 😟 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ormond Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 I’m waiting for Middle Of The Slope tae chime in. 😂 The mods have gone fucking haywire recently banning for hee-haw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UpTheSlope Posted April 24, 2019 Author Share Posted April 24, 2019 5 hours ago, thplinth said: re-starting a banned thread used to be hefty suspension. the laissez-faire attitude on here has been a breath of fresh air... but every now and then mods of old... lace up the steel toe caps and boot some balls. this is a shit thread. It’s even shiter now that you’ve commented 🥁🥁🥁 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huddersfield Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 My wife & kids often call me Dopey. I'm 6'2" & have been toying with the idea of applying to the Guinness Book of Records as the world's tallest dwarf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 9 hours ago, G-Man said: I was called a “fucking twat of a cuntish dwarf.” last week in a supermarket car park so if you’d accept that as a reference pm me the date and how much pay you’re offering and I’ll check my diary. I notice you say “he”, I was mistaken for a drag queen in Tel Aviv so hopefully that’ll work for you too, 😂😂😂 11 hours ago, UpTheSlope said: Could anyone recommend a reliable company that provides dwarfs for stag-do’s and party nights? Im not looking for anything smutty, more along the lines of comedy Ive got an event in a few weeks time for a friend and some of us are warming to the idea of hiring a dwarf in fancy dress to say a few short words and present a gift which we are all chipping in for and who will perhaps handcuff himself to our unsuspecting mucker Has anyone used any of these company’s before and if so how reliable are they? The people providing these services are doing it of their own back. They aren’t being forced into it and are making the best of life and getting out of it what they can Why dont you make it a Game of Thrones cum Disney themed event and we can all take part. Wouldnt be the first time I have been called a fucking old dragon and there are a few folk on here that could fill the part of the White Walkers no problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McTeeko Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 10 hours ago, G-Man said: I was called a “fucking twat of a cuntish dwarf.” last week in a supermarket car park so if you’d accept that as a reference pm me the date and how much pay you’re offering and I’ll check my diary. I notice you say “he”, I was mistaken for a drag queen in Tel Aviv so hopefully that’ll work for you too, 🤔😰 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thplinth Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 4 hours ago, UpTheSlope said: It’s even shiter now that you’ve commented 🥁🥁🥁 Hard to believe. It was shit humour when Ricky Gervais tried it and so I don't see you swinging it somehow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parklife Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 Unfunny wank of a poster, starts unfunny wank of a thread. Twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tartan_McCole Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 13 hours ago, Jim Beem said: I was on a stag weekend where the groom had hired one. Not really my thing to be honest. Boy seemed a decent enough wee chap but thought it was all a bit sad. It generally always comes across as rather sad as opposed to how hilarious everybody thought it would actually be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phart Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 I like how consent is so easily bestowed. They're doing it off their own backs. One presumes they are given the shitty choice of having money or not. Paying someone so a braying mob can laugh at their expense is and always shall be the province of the cunts and tories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McTeeko Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 Mind the thread after the 4-6-0 game in Prague and there was apparently a Czech guy hanging about the Charles Bridges asking if some Scotland fans wanted to kick a midget into a swimming pool? 🤔 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UpTheSlope Posted April 24, 2019 Author Share Posted April 24, 2019 2 hours ago, Parklife said: Unfunny wank of a poster, starts unfunny wank of a thread. Twice. I might have a new profile but it would appear you still have the same poker stuck up yer arse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UpTheSlope Posted April 24, 2019 Author Share Posted April 24, 2019 44 minutes ago, phart said: I like how consent is so easily bestowed. They're doing it off their own backs. One presumes they are given the shitty choice of having money or not. Well they could always get 9-5 jobs or they’d maybe even qualify for disability living allowance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UpTheSlope Posted April 24, 2019 Author Share Posted April 24, 2019 It must be standing room only on the faux offended bus when Charlie and the chocolate factory is on the tele when the wee oompah loompahs come on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phart Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 7 minutes ago, UpTheSlope said: It must be standing room only on the faux offended bus when Charlie and the chocolate factory is on the tele when the wee oompah loompahs come on That's the weakest retort i've ever encountered. I saw a bit of charlie and the chocolate factory 30 odd years ago. I did go and look to see what happens so i could sit higher and better judge you and it seems pretty expensive. Talking £50 just for the deposit for an hour. So the folk might be on city bankers hourly rate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ormond Posted April 24, 2019 Share Posted April 24, 2019 35 minutes ago, McTeeko said: Mind the thread after the 4-6-0 game in Prague and there was apparently a Czech guy hanging about the Charles Bridges asking if some Scotland fans wanted to kick a midget into a swimming pool? 🤔 Something with a monkey comes to mind with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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