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  1. 9 points
    Not as strange as your tedious boring bastard routine
  2. 8 points
    Gonna fuck off and not ruin another thread you boring tedious bastard. Away and lick door handles, please.
  3. 6 points
  4. 5 points
    I would like to express my gratitude to King David for saving Rangers. You sir are simply the best.
  5. 4 points
    Ive got a figure for you. You are 100% a knob. Good night.
  6. 3 points
  7. 2 points
    Decided to make a nice dinner the night for me and the misses, (I know I'm a chef, and I should make her a nice dinner all the time, but I am usually working, and on my days off, the last thing I want to do, is fecking cook). So given the fact that I ain't working just now, I thought I would put in a wee bit of effort, and make her a nice meal, put a wee smile on her face, and you never know, maybe a wee bit of romance later. So anyway, I spend 4 hours in the kitchen making a wee 3 courser for the pair of us, For starters Pan fried Scallops (Saw them in Aldi, and thought feck it, the wet suit and saw table can wait) on a bed of wilted spinach, with Parmesan, lardon's, and croutons. Main Steak Pie, turned veg and Mash Tatties Dessert Cranachan with shortbread fingers Afters Cup a coffee for her, and 4 can for me. Result Complete waste of fecking time, she's currently on the couch, half pished after her 2nd bottles of vino colapsso, and is currently putting a pretty big dent into her 3rd, watching some sh^te on the telly, about lard ersed yanks buying wedding dresses, and I'm on a fecking message board. So who ever said romance was dead, was fecking right.
  8. 2 points
    Am a bit hungover myself. Cannae mind getting home from the living room ๐Ÿคฃ At one point there were about 8 of us on playing celebrity squares, University challenge or name that tune to name but a few. It was a hoot but one a week is plenty I think ๐Ÿ‘
  9. 2 points
    Mrs Slasher just gave me a hair cut there at my insistence. Fuck me! Can we all just take a moment to appreciate the skill of the barber when this is all over! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
  10. 2 points
  11. 2 points
  12. 2 points
    And the yummy mummies on social media who were posting videos of their kids clapping were the same ones who were moaning about people talking about "boring" politics around election time. "I'm not even voting cos they're all liars" "Everyone on facebook thinks they're a politician these days" etc etc
  13. 2 points
  14. 2 points
    It's funnier if you do the accents .... Over in Jamaica, Rastas and Marylou are packing to go their holidays. They are just about packed Marylou is in the bedroom and Rastas is in the living room Rastas shouts - "Marylou - have you seen my sunglasses ? Are they in the bedroom" Marylou - "No Rastas - I aint seen your sunglasses in here" Rastas shouts " Marylou - are my sunglasses in the bathroom" Marylou after checking " No Rastas - your sunglasses aint in here either" Marylou comes into the living room and Rastas is shaking his head saying " I cant find those sunglasses anywhere" Marylou cries out "Why Rastas - you are wearing your Sunglasses" Rastas - "They aint my sunglasses - they my nostrils"
  15. 2 points
  16. 2 points
    Definitely hitting me the hardest today so far. Should have been taking my son to his first game, meeting up with my tuechter mates and seeing us play at a rare full house. Even had the SSC putting a message on the Hampden screens for my son. Not to mention a potential playoff final which would have been the biggest game in years, and a few days abroad. Absolutely gutted to be missing out on it all. I get there's more important things going on right now (before some tedious cunt like dohadeer points it out) but still doesn't stop it being so disappointing.
  17. 2 points
    Craig you do seem fixated with Ted Heath, did he invite you onboard his yacht once?
  18. 2 points
    fecking hilarious - I was going to doctor your post and add an "SNP BAD" line as a joke - but you got there 1st -
  19. 2 points
    This is not about 'two factions both attacking each other'. That denies the timeline of what happened and who did what. Let's be clear, this is one 'faction' i.e. Team Nicola stabbing Alex Salmond in the back and trying get him sent to prison just so he cannot come back to politics. Up until this trial I don't think the other faction even knew they were in a war never mind a battle (as Leslie Evans describes it). But as a result of first, the judicial review that never was and now this trial it is now very clear to them that they are in a war and have been for sometime without even knowing it. But now they know I expect a little 'catching up' to take place. It was one side who declared war on the other, not some conflict where both kicked off simultaneously, and it was done for the most shallow of self serving political reasons and to the utter destruction of the independence movement by effectively creating a civil war. The used a sledge hammer to crack a nut and surprise surprise they smashed the nut to fucking bits. This mess is entirely of their making. The solution is for them all to resign.
  20. 2 points
    On a lighter note - a big thank you to James Blunt
  21. 2 points
    Foo Fighters - Learing to Wank Again Down - Nothing in Return (Wank Away) Clutch - In Wanks Barbarella ...and as Val Doonican's mama told him when he was about knee high, wank tall, wank straight and look the world right in the eye.
  22. 2 points
    What about that SpeedoMick guy ..wanking from John O Groats to Lands End in just his speedos. People lining the streets to watch him wank past them. He needed regular foot rubs to enable him to keep on wanking and posted regular videos and updates of his wank.
  23. 2 points
    Let's be honest about this. No-one on this board has enough data nor any level of knowledge or experience to make any kind of informed projections. If they had then I'd hope they were working to tackle the pandemic and not spending all day making stuff up and posting it on here. Read it, don't read it, but don't believe anyone on here has any special insight into this - that includes me.
  24. 2 points
    Embrace the wonderful memories you have of your Mum and let the comfort from that carry you through. We mourn because we miss, because we care, and because we love. You'll always be grateful for her, and for her influence. โ€œBlessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4
  25. 2 points
    'When', Brother... when...
  26. 2 points
    Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid-19. Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer-14.
  27. 2 points
    Nae offense but that looks like ma lavy on a Sunday morning efter a Saturday on the cider
  28. 2 points
    Unite the clans! ๐Ÿด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ณ๓ ฃ๓ ด๓ ฟ
  29. 2 points
  30. 2 points
    I should be so lucky mate. Ma wee Wallace is smart as fuck..๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ‘
  31. 2 points
    Both scenarios seem plausible. In fact, where the first is concerned, I'd be shocked if the security services hadn't at the very least tried to infiltrate the SNP - a political party who's main reason for being threatens the very existence of the British state as we currently know it - at some point. Security service plants were used to neuter trade unions in the 1980s and did so quite successfully. It isn't as if it's exactly difficult to join the party either. Plus, look at how the MSM angle has turned on a sixpence from 'Alex Salmond badman!' to 'SNP in crisis!'. Exile's theory has some weight to it, IMO. On the other hand, like you say, the whole affair could just have been cooked up by egotistical careerists, psychopaths in the real sense of the word, who saw his continuing influence as an obstacle to their own career progression, and/or had old scores to settle. It was a free hit for them, knowing that their identities would be protected throughout the trial.
  32. 2 points
    Let's remember, IF this is a British establishment conspiracy, they would have set it up as a win-win, either to get Salmond, or Sturgeon. If Salmond's acquittal triggers a civil war in the SNP then they will have achieved their aim as much as if Salmond had been put away (if not more so). So, if the party tears itself apart it would just be playing into the hands of their enemies. If there is no conspiracy, then the SNP would be doing it to themselves. But as others have said, for now the important thing is combating Covid-19. Still, the strength of feelling on both/all sides suggests the indy movement is alive and kicking and not going to go away, virus hiatus or no.
  33. 2 points
    Positivity. As a parent, I'm spending more time with my 2 boys. They are off school and pretty much stuck in the house. We have a billiard table in the basement so playing alot more and spending quality time with them. I guess you take the positives from bad situation. Still undefeated on the pool table though.. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰. Stay safe ma pals..๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
  34. 1 point
    So, they both disappeared at the same time, eh? Hmmmmmm...
  35. 1 point
    Thatโ€™s me oot. Fuckin algerbra and all that pish. I was 23 before I realised algebra wasnโ€™t a language ๐Ÿ˜
  36. 1 point
    Condolences Slasher. The funeral director should offer you the option of having a memorial service at a later date if you wish.
  37. 1 point
    Funerals are hard at anytime, but i canโ€™t describe what familyโ€™s must be going through now, an old pal of my brothers funeral was yesterday and only 5 people attended because of whatโ€™s happening at this time, there would have been many people at the funeral, They had a video link at the crematorium for people to watch, I found it very sad to watch as did many others who would have attended to pay their respects.
  38. 1 point
    Pair of Jakeyโ€™s Youโ€™d never catch me in a state of inebriation.
  39. 1 point
    You are right Craig , it really will be dependent on who is behind it.
  40. 1 point
    That just made my daughter laugh lol. Thanks
  41. 1 point
    IMO Sturgeon is not behind it however she has been naive and let herself be snookered, damned if does l, damned if she dont. She let herself get into a position that there was no good outcome for herself, had she quashed the allegations or stood behind alec that would have been a disaster, and we are now seeing the fall out for her not standing by alec.both bad outcomes
  42. 1 point
    Yes the First Minister is innocent until proved otherwise, just as was with the former First Minister
  43. 1 point
    Each to their own but I'm not sure speculation on the death rate is helping any of us. There are too many variables and too much unknown data whichever source you pick from. Just stop would be my plea....... there I said it ๐Ÿ‘
  44. 1 point
    Cooked to purrrfection......I'll get my coat.
  45. 1 point
    I've just emailed the SNP informing them that if she remains associated with the party then im cancelling my membership. What a vile creature.
  46. 1 point
    Naw mate. He was named after our William Wallace. Aye, it's still a wee bit nippy here in Ottawa. And cheers pal, Wallace is brilliant. We got him when he was 10 weeks old. He 20 weeks now. Fuckin nutter he is..๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ˜‰
  47. 1 point
    My friends sister received this. May or may nor be useful. The below extract was sent to all hospital workers at the Princess Of Wales Hospital. I thought I would share with you all to help with your preventative measures. This is the advice given to hospital staff. It explains the virus and hopefully, how to prevent getting it. Please share with family, friends and work colleagues. Virus Detection: The simplest way to distinguish Coronavirus from a Common Cold is that the COVID-19 infection does not cause a cold nose or cough with cold, but it does create a dry and rough cough. The virus is typically first installed in the throat causing inflammation and a feeling of dryness. This symptom can last between 3 and 4 days. The virus typically then travels through the moisture present in the airways, goes down to the trachea and installs in the lungs, causing pneumonia that lasts about 5 or 6 days. Pneumonia manifests with a high fever and difficulty breathing. The Common Cold is not accompanied, but there may be a choking sensation. In this case, the doctor should be called immediately. Experts suggest doing this simple verification every morning: Breathe in deeply and hold your breath for 10 seconds. If this can be done without coughing, without difficulty, this shows that there is no fibrosis in the lungs, indicating the absence of infection. It is recommended to do this control every morning to help detect infection. Prevention: The virus hates heat and dies if it is exposed to temperatures greater than 80ยฐF (27ยฐC). Therefore hot drinks such as infusions, broths or simply hot water should be consumed abundantly during the day. These hot liquids kill the virus and are easy to ingest. Avoid drinking ice water or drinks with ice cubes. Ensure that your mouth and throat are always wet, never DRY. You should drink a sip of water at least every 15 minutes. WHY? Even when the virus enters water or other liquids through the mouth, it will get flushed through the oesophagus directly into the stomach where gastric acids destroy the virus. If there is not enough water, the virus can pass into the trachea and from there to the lungs, where it is very dangerous. For those who can, sunbathe. The Sun's UV rays kill the virus and the vitamin D is good for you. The Coronavirus has a large size (diameter of 400-500 nanometers) so face masks can stop it, no special face masks are needed in daily life. If an infected person sneezes nearby, stay 10 feet (3.3 meters) away to allow the virus fall to the ground and prevent it from falling on you. When the virus is on hard surfaces, it survives about 12 hours, therefore when hard surfaces such as doors, appliances, railings, etc. are touched, hands should be washed thoroughly and/or disinfected with alcoholic gel The virus can live nested in clothes and tissues between 6 and 12 hours. Common detergents can kill it. Things that cannot be washed should be exposed to the Sun and the virus will die. The transmission of the virus usually occurs by direct infection, touching fabrics, tissues or materials on which the virus is present. Washing your hands is essential. The virus survives on our hands for only about 10 minutes. In that time many things can happen, rubbing the eyes, touching the nose or lips. This allows the virus to enter your throat. Therefore, for your good and the good of all, wash your hands very often and disinfect them. You can gargle with disinfectant solutions (i.e. Listerine or Hydrogen Peroxide) that eliminate or minimize the amount of virus that can enter the throat. Doing so removes the virus before it goes down to the trachea and then to the lungs. Disinfect things touched often: mobile phone, keyboard, mouse, car steering wheel, door handles, etc ....
  48. 1 point
    Good to hear Salmond say that himself too. Very responsible of him when he is probably seethign inside.
  49. 1 point
    Despite the uncertainty with regards to clubs at the moment Raith in conjunction with another couple of companies have been out delivering soup packs to the elderly. My 84 year old mum received one earlier from Fernandy Mendy and Fulham bound Kieron Bowie. Great gesture all round. ๐Ÿ‘
  50. 1 point
    Social distancing. Lying in bed flipoin through the channels and the Liverpool v Chelsea match is on a replay as no sports obviously. So what I have seen of Gilmour is very good. I cannot believe how calm and confident this young man is on the ball. He does not look out of place at all.. Even shouting instructions. Very excited about this young lad.


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