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  1. 18 points
    As a side note given what's been posted previously I wanted everyone to know that we buried my mum today. There were just four of us at the cemetery, practising social distancing. It was surreal and unnatural and I can only hope that we will be able to do it properly in the future. There are some wonderful people in this world though. The priest who attended was fantastic and the taxi driver who picked up my Dad helped him in and out of the car with no thought for himself, refused any payment and said he was proud to have been involved.
  2. 15 points
    Well played guys, you deserved this win (that Forrest guy!) , good luck at the playoffs. Cheers from Israel.
  3. 14 points
    Welcome aboard old chap 🤣🤣🤣
  4. 13 points
    Well that was the best weekend me and the wee man will possibly EVER have!! Sitting in the plane bound for Amsterdam still completely buzzing - just met Marco van Basten and watched the France team come through the airport! Met great new Colombian pals and now have an invite over there next summer 🇨🇴 A thoroughly amazing occasion, made ever better by the actual match - six goals, VAR involvement, dodgy keeping, torrential rain - just immense! Hotel was great too, loads of ex-players staying there including Stuart Pearce, Chris Waddle, Dion Dublin and Carlos Queiroz who joined us all last night in the bar for a few beers. Here’s to Qatar 2022! 🍻🇶🇦
  5. 12 points
    I have better ones. This is a bit long so bear with me. Earlier in 1997 when we were playing Sweden in Gothenburg, the night before the game we were in the Dubliner. It was absolutely rammed and so we were upstairs. Sitting at a table next to us were McInally, a Swedish guy - pissed - and a couple of Swedish girls. The bloke was clearly giving it the big one about his celebrity pal. McInally was sitting next to one of the girls and was trying his hardest but getting nowhere. After a while, this Scotland fan turns up, wearing a matching kilt, tammy and tartan poncho - we nicknamed him the Tartan Clint Eastwood. TCE had a word with McInally and whispered something in his ear,McInally goes radge - "you f-off, I'm talking to this bird...". TCE is undeterred and just stands there. After 5-10 minutes, McInally goes off to the bar to get drinks. TCE sits down in his seat and within 30 seconds, is snogging the face off the girl. McInally comes back with the drinks, including drinks for the girls, and sees this. Puts the drinks down on the table, decides "ah, well maybe I'll talk to the plebs", gets pretty much ignored and pisses off. Fast forwards to the day after we've played Brazil in France 98. We're in a pub in Paris watching some games on TV and there's a group of pissed - but amusing - Scotland fans in the pub as well. I'm looking at this guy for ages trying to work out where I've seen him before, then it dawns on me, it's TCE. So I go over to him and he tells me the whole story. He'd met the girl the previous night in Gothenburg and had arranged to meet in the Dubliner. She'd got there a bit earlier with her pal and these two bloke - McInally and the Swedish guy - had sat down next to them and started trying to chat them up. The Swedish guy was trying to impress them that his "pal" was a big celebrity, she was clueless as to who he was but said to TCE she thought he might be Jimmy Nail! Over the next few years, I used to bump into TCE and his mates at various games and we always had a right laugh at it. Never saw him in in the poncho though, it was a great look. When we played Estonia in a friendly around 2005, we were in the same pub in Tallinn and McInally happened to be in with Chick Young. The pub had booths you could pull a curtain across and they were in one of those with a couple of local ladies trying to hide from the fans. Anyway, I said to TCE, lets get a photo of you with McInally, he won't have a clue who you are and he's so up his own arse he'll love the attention. So the next time he comes up to the bar, where we're standing, I say "Haw Rambo, any chance of a photo with my mate, he's a huge fan". So we take the picture and we're going to leave it at that but one of TCE's mates comes up and says "Haw Rambo, he's shagged your bird", pointing to TCE. McInally looks at him and goes "Aye right, in your dreams pal", until his mate says "1997, Gothenburg, night before the game, Dubliner Bar". You can literally see the cogwheels turning in what passes for McInally's head. Recognises TCE and fucks off faster than he ever did on the pitch.
  6. 12 points
  7. 11 points
    7, it was in my mince at tatties, probably my maws.
  8. 10 points
    You think you're becoming more pragmatic, can see both sides, with age and then an individual turns your country into a colony. And I use that word advisedly. Don't even need to defend their position. All arguments irrelevant because the debate is simply shut down regardless of the opinion of the people of Scotland. You're as well shutting down this thread because it's all irrelevant what any of you think. An individual and his team around him have decided your opinion doesn't matter. I respected the 2014 vote because it was the people that decided. That was more important to me than the result. I was proud of our people that day. Maybe 45% of the snp vote isn't enough of a mandate, maybe 80% of MPs isn't a mandate, maybe a majority of MSPs isn't a mandate... ...but something has to be... You can't block all and every democratic path. They're not winning any argument, they're not strengthening "the union" (if it can still be called that) in any way bar (possibly) legally. There was nothing to say Scotland could not be independent or decide if the people desire it. I don't feel vanquished, I just don't understand how someone can claim this as a fair position. I respect a unionists position, why can't some of them respect mine? And then it's always upto the people. They've basically said any vote by millions of new voters coming on the electoral register over the next 30, 40, 50 years (even if they allow it then!) is irrelevant if they want to make that choice again. We've to somehow feel blessed that an individual from an English constituency might, might allow a referendum if it suits them. As if that is more important than the electorate of 3million or so Scottish citizens on the matter. Thanks so much Labour. I feel blessed. I genuinely have been wavering on the practicalities of voting Yes. I will do so with a stronger conviction than ever before as despite the rejection I am sure the time will come. Not now, not in 5 years time but at some point. The respect has gone.
  9. 10 points
    The ‘red’ button obviously had to go because it illustrates the BBC is synonymous with left wing bias. Instead it is going to be replaced by a far more neutral ‘Blue’ button with a typical daily schedule looking like this: 6.00-8.00: ‘Royal Wedding Highlights’ – don’t worry not the one where the alleged bastard marries someone from the colonies. 8.00-9.00: ‘Ben Ten’: kids animation where Ben, with his trusty net and outdated search engine, uses the ten commandments to oust the feared ‘Muzzas’ from his land. The dreaded ‘Red Corbyn’ threatens stability in the area but Ben phones a friend. 9.00 – 10.00: ‘Bargain Hunt’ – Jeremy Hunt’s tales of negotiating arms sales to the valiant Saudi’s or discussions with US pharmaceuticals on how they can make the NHS even better. Those 127 hospitals and 350,000 nurses aren’t going pay for themselves! 10.00 – 11.00: ‘Homes Under the Hammer’ – Comedy show charting scum befalling the benefit system and the subsequent repossession of their homes. In this episode someone with a poor diet cries – must watch! 11.00 – 12.00: ‘Location Location Location’ – Showing how you could hoover up property at auction then rent it to ‘generation snowflake’ who won’t be able to get on the ladder until their 40’s. Well if you don’t do it someone else will and if you don’t like it then you’re obviously a communist. 12.00-13.00: ‘Biker Gove’ – Michael Gove tours the country, fully in leather, speaking to people who consider themselves middleclass because they have a mortgage and 6,000 mile lease agreement PA on a car about how wonderful it is being Tory whilst blatantly sneering at their stupidity. 13.00-14.00: ‘Question Time’ – the studio audience get to question benefit applicants and then vote on whether their credits will continue. In this episode Peter’s life is turned around when despite losing both arms in a farming accident he was overwhelming voted fit to work and now picks berries with his teeth. 14.00-15.00: ‘From Russia with Love’ – Documentary proving the relationship between cheeky chappy Boris and Russia is purely plutonium plutonic. 15.00-16.00: ‘Crime Watch’ – show detailing how the fat ugly bird three doors down with six kids, a flat screen tele and regularly gets their dinner delivered from Dominoes is ultimately responsible for the fuckup the NHS made of your loved ones operation. Proudly sponsored by Lloyds Bank – By Your Side. 16.00-16.30: ‘Countdown’ – same as the Channel 4 version but Diane Abbot is on the numbers so if she can’t make 563 out of one large number, three small numbers, a consonant and a vowel how will she manage a budget? 16.30-17.00 ‘Fifteen to One’ – series about how your fearless leader overcame the odds to win the tory party nomination 17.00-17.30 – ‘Swin it to Win It’ – Satirical look at Jo Swinson’s week where she still believes she can be PM. 17.30 – 18.00 – ‘Blue Planet’: Amber Rudd and Ruth Davidson tour the world to show you all the other normal countries are tories and if Jezza gets in we’ll all be Chinese within a generation. 18.00-19.00 – ‘The Wall’ – Checking in with how construction around the ports of Dover and Hull is getting on. 19.00-20.00 – ‘The Good, The Bad and The Ugly’- Biopic of how Ruth Davidson smashed Nicola Sturgeon and that fat fella who spoke too much in the Commons in the 2017 election winning a resounding 13 to 35. 20.00-21.00 – ‘Orange is the New Black’: Following the marches through Glasgow and if you don’t agree with the route you’re a bigot. It’s only up to their knees for fuck sake – folk in Yorkshire are up to their chest in cow shit water and they’re just getting on with it. 21.00-21.30 – ‘9 o’clock news’ – no change to scheduled viewing 21.30-22.00 – ‘Reporting Scotland’ – no change to scheduled viewing: SNP bad; Rangers & Celtic good; wear a coat. 22.00-23.00 – ‘Down the pub with Nige’ – chat show where despite having never won an electoral seat Nigel Farage continues to be the vessel utilised to control the direction of English politics but at least you can have a pint and a game of darts with him. In this episode Reese-Mogg tries not to laugh at the wine menu and Farage strokes a whippet – great guy. 23.00-24.00 – ‘Three men and a little lady’ – following his unfortunate plane crash traces the rise and fall of Prince Andrew. Warning contains scenes some viewers may find upsetting – Woking is a proper shithole like. 24.00-6.00am – ‘DaveStation’ – you can call David Cameron in his pants dangerously close to a suckling pig to tell him what you want to see him doing for £1.50 a minute or if you’re too shy you can just listen in on Danny Dyer ranting at him for an hour and a half.
  10. 10 points
  11. 10 points
    This isn't really a life after death story however it's kinda linked and makes me smile when I think about it so I'm going to share it. I lost my Dad to cancer when I was 24, he was 54. He spent his last few weeks at home and in the last day or so me, my Mum and brother were all round his bed usually taking it in turns to sit with him. About an hour before he finally passed it was just me and him in the room and he was slipping in and out of consciousness. At one point he woke up and grabbed my arm and with amazing clarity we'd not seen for months looked me straight in the eye and said "cupboard in the spare room, in a blue box there's something for you. It's for you, not your brother as you need it more". I was a bit perplexed and being honest thought it was the medication as he'd been prone to odd outbursts. An hour later he was gone and it wasn't till the next day I remembered and curiosity got the better of me. I went to the spare room, found the box and with trepidation opened it up wondering what I might find. Would it be a comforting letter passing on his last words of advice? Would it be a lump of cash he'd squirreled away to make sure I was alright when he was gone? Or a piece of family heirloom jewellery passed down from father to son? No. It was an old musty 70s porno VHS! My Dad's pretty much final act was to pass on his (well worn) copy of Big Bushes Vol II. In hindsight the "you need it more than your brother comment" was clearly because I was single at the time while he had a girlfriend. In some ways I find his parting gift more comforting than if he'd given me any of the above! And if there is an afterlife, it kind of creeps me out that he might have been sitting there waiting to see if it got put to good use....
  12. 10 points
    Chripper and friends, Any chance you could create your own thread to have your mind numbingly boring tactics/formation debate and leave this thread to folk who want to discuss Scotland players in action? Much obliged.
  13. 10 points
    PASTA Mick will have whitewashed his bedroom ceiling by now ! 😄
  14. 10 points
    If you think the Scottish are bad, you should see those Irish mob that turn up for Scottish league games... 😛
  15. 10 points
    The narrative on Hampden Park is way out of line with reality. Terms like "Dilapidated" and "not fit for purpose" are pure hyperbole similar to a political rant on social media. It has positives and many inaccuracies in the current debate. Transport It has 2 train stations. 5+ public bus routes. Shuttle buses from Buchanan Bus Station. 1 hours walk from city centre. About £10 to £12 in a taxi. Every stadium has delays in getting 50k out after a game. Wembley, Ibrox, Parkhead, Murrayfield. There have all been delays when I visit them for football, rugby and concerts. Better planning by supporters would make their journey easier. Better communication on what is out there would also help. Pubs There are 20 pubs within a 30 minute walk of Hampden. More restaurants. About 10 bowling clubs. q nightclub. Lots of places for people to go before and after the game from traditional pubs to trendier bars in Strathbungo. On here it seems people congregate to the same 2 or 3 venues that cause chaos. Facilities Yes behind the goals is poor. That is one area that should be improved if financially possible. South Stand is superb. North Stand is decent with upgraded facilities from Glasgow 2014. What else do people want? A fan zone in Lesser Hampden would be very good especially for families and hopefully something there or in the car park would be used. Atmosphere In the past 15 years Netherlands, Germany, Ukraine, France, Italy, Spain, England even Poland were all games with big atmospheres. Late goals v Slovakia and Slovenia were outstanding. I've seen grown men bouncing out the stadium after a good result and heard roars that I don't get at my own club team. On the pitch and off the pitch combine to make the atmosphere. It can be good. It can be very good. Being in another stadium would not improve this. History It's our home. Spiritual home of Scottish football. Go the museum as it is brilliant and learn and remember the history of the place and our place in the global game. The unique setup of Scottish domestic football means we need a neutral venue for the Old Firm who will (unfortunately :-) ) be in many cup finals against each other. This is the way of the world. Why would you want money to be given to the 2 biggest clubs if we played there or to another sport at Murrayfield? Selfishly it also brings a lot of money to Glasgow which is where I live.
  16. 10 points
    Evening All A few months back, when this new, bells-&-whistles version of the board was in its infancy, there was some discussion about whether the 'like' feature should be resurrected after a previous, disastrous attempt years ago (you could also 'dislike' posts in that version and it all ended in tantrums and tears - thanks Phart). I was agin it, due to the likelihood of normal message-board discourse being distorted by a flood of vacuous 'like-bait' posts (and because I knew I wouldn't be very popular). How wrong I was (apart from my relative lack of popularity). Instead of the board being awash with like-bait, we seem to be witnessing a wholly unexpected phenomenon - an Old-Firm-esque-of-yore domination of the TAMB league table by DoonTheSlope and Ormond. Now, I can think of three possible explanations for this: 1. Ormond and DTS continuously post fucking superb stuff that simply leaves the rest of us in the shade. 2. They have cunningly registered under alternative user-names with the sole purpose of liking themselves into a masturbatory orgy of apparent popularity. 3. There's a behind-the-scenes mutual liking going on that is quite frankly gay. And of course I don't mean 'gay' in the politically incorrect sense of mild disparagement; I mean full-on, mano-a-mano indulgence in the-love-that-once-dared-not-speak-its-name gay. Weighing up the probabilities, I think it's most likely option 1, in which case the rest of us need to up the quality of our posts. But I'm willing to be persuaded otherwise ... Edit: Perhaps we could have a poll?
  17. 10 points
    Folk who don't retweet or share posts but actually copy word for word your status. It's even more of a pisser when they get more likes than you
  18. 9 points
  19. 9 points
    Not as strange as your tedious boring bastard routine
  20. 9 points
    Absolute fucking tedious shit.
  21. 9 points
    I'm intrigued to see how that read before you edited it!
  22. 9 points
    Funny how Alan always is MIA from threads like this, you know ones where the catastrophe that is the Conservative party are being discussed and how they have managed to create an economic and political mess of such gigantic proportions it almost defies belief. He will no doubt surface in the smoking ruin of it all to post a thread about an SNP Councillor who dropped a sweetie wrapper somewhere 10 years ago.
  23. 9 points
    Parklife wasn't talking about you; he explicitly says that he's referring to the poster with the highest number of reputation points. However, to be fair, thinking he was talking about you does make you come across as dumb as fuck.
  24. 8 points
    Only the hard of thinking wouldnt be aware that the division was caused when all the other clubs decided to harm at least 3 of their fellow members during a period of national emergency when there were options to harm no one but now its all Hearts and Partick that are to blame when these rats have realised they just might take a financial hit themselves.
  25. 8 points
    I share your pain mate. 5am this morning I lost my father in law to this awful disease. Fought like a lion to try and hang on but it was a battle he couldn't win. You have my deepest sympathy mate. Stay safe
  26. 8 points
    Gonna fuck off and not ruin another thread you boring tedious bastard. Away and lick door handles, please.
  27. 8 points
  28. 8 points
    Lolz, probably would, but they’re no european powerhouse like Copenhagen though 🤣
  29. 8 points
    The saddest thing on the TAMB is watching you scoot aroond the board needling bits and pieces of absolute shite in everywhere with absolutely fuck all evidence to back up anything. You are the King of bollocks for that that. Flinging in a wee daisycutter in the hope you can stand back and watch other cunts in the playground fight it out. Every single person on here whether daft, smart, angry, funny, etc argues or jots their case out. You do nothing and you are doing exactly the same again here with your pathetic wee needle-like pish.
  30. 8 points
    *** awaits imminent 3 year contact extension ***
  31. 8 points
    In a couple of WhatsApp groups, I/we were speaking about this, thankfully most of us support Dundee, or United, think theres one Celtic and a St Mirren fan of all things, and everyone was happy that Rangers were beaten by Celtic. Everyone of us wants almost anyone to stop them winning every trophy, but not that horrible bigoted club, anyone but them. They are universally hated by everyone.
  32. 8 points
    This day 5 years ago will stick with me until the day i die, it was truly heartbreaking, i knew by 11pm on the 18th that the vote was going the wrong way however it didn't set in until the 19th what scotland had actually done, it took me a good while to get over and i am not joking when i say i may have been slightly depressed in the few months that followed, that is why I don’t want another indy referendum unless we are sure we will win it. I don't think i will ever get over that vote completely
  33. 8 points
    A post without you name dropping or saying you have mates!
  34. 8 points
    Going by opinions on here I'd say independence will never come about because far too many put provisios on for voting yes. Provisios such as not voting Yes if Scotland were to join the EU or not voting yes because they don't like the way the SNP are governing. FFS you are voting on the chance of freedom from a union that is more corrupt than the mafia. You have a chance to help Scotland forge a new future in which it can make its own decisions and choose its own governments. What a no-brainer. Yet people will vote no for such petty reasons. Yes I get some hate the SNP or don't like the way they govern or hate NS but when independent you will have your chance to remove them from power. SNP governments are temporary in 5 year cycles whereas independence is permanent. As for the EU situation well that is for another day. Heck first get independence then address that issue and again like the SNP government - EU membership is NOT permanent and Scotland, even if they did join, can leave anytime they want. It seems pathetic to vote no just because you hate the EU.
  35. 8 points
    Lets be honest, Rangers are a cunt of a club. The (majority) of fans are bigoted cunts, the people in charge are moronic cunts, they just cant help themselves.
  36. 8 points
    1) International level is the pinnacle of football. With no disrespect to the English Championship but it's two tiers beneath. 2) Better management and the players from those countries know their jobs and they play to their strengths. Our players simply look like they have no idea what's being asked of them. 3) People can may not like this, but I don't care. Scotland as a nation has been Anglofied. We seem quite happy being a cuckold nation. We're submissive and meek and we have no passion left. England own us. An example, on Friday "STV" showed the England match, and on Tuesday they'll do the same. Not exactly a sign of a nation who loves itself.
  37. 8 points
    Some Celtic fans on this thread really need to take a look at themselves. Is it really too hard to just say the truth, the constant deflection and denial is pathetic.
  38. 8 points
    This is the weirdest RIP thread I've ever read. You'd never have thought on p.1 we'd have had 6 pages, ending up at Noah's Ark. Could only happen here.
  39. 8 points
    Deary, deary me. Rangers get a home draw. Greet like a wean. Rangers get an away draw. Greet like a wean. I'm starting to think fitba's maybe not for you Scotty.
  40. 8 points
    I wrote this on Indy eve - such an opportunity missed. "And so, here we are. As darkness falls over Scotland on this late summer evening, all the work has been done. The speeches speeched, the canvassing canvassed. There's one more opinion poll due out tonight - but who cares? As we go to the Polling Stations tomorrow, remember that it's about the future. The future of Scotland and the people who live here. We have had some glorious and not so glorious times as part of the union, but you can't make progress looking in the rear-view mirror. The past will always be. It happened. It's gone. This question is about us. It's about the confidence we have in ourselves to make something better. Something that takes us from where we are at the moment, a wealthy country with poor and hungry people, to a country that values its citizens and rewards them appropriately. Vote well, friends. May your choice reflect your hope and not your fear!"
  41. 8 points
    Fuck off you complete bellend.
  42. 8 points
  43. 8 points
    Red overturned. "Mummy, Mummy.... " Celtic hardman Scott Brown
  44. 7 points
    I've worked in social care for almost 20 years. Different settings, some really challenging times, thought of leaving on numerous occasions but stuck it out. Worked really hard and enjoy my job, really rewarding. I work in the voluntary sector, low paid, under appreciated (all social care staff). But yesterday was the highlight of my career, made me so proud I nearly cried. I'm getting a badge (apparently) a fuckin badge. Never mind a decent wage rise for the staff, more funding, resources etc. How fucking patronising, a badge. Well Mr Hancock you can take the badge and shove it right up your arse. I know the SG can do more but listening to that patronising prick yesterday proved to me what a shower of cunts this Tory government really are. Maybe they should all get a badge with the word 'CUNT' on it.
  45. 7 points
    When I was 19/20 still living at home my mum and dad were being very weird then my mum out of nowhere stuttered it would be ok if I was gay, I could tell them and they would fully support my decision. I must be one of the only blokes who has had to come out as heterosexual to their parents and just admit to being sh*t at pulling.
  46. 7 points
    Unionists have an acceptance of being second best, and have no real desire or belief that we’ll ever be anything more. How pathetic is that!?
  47. 7 points
    The best bit is we managed to get the rugger buggers to fork out top dollar for feasibility studies into something that was never gonna happen. Get it up ye, posh twats!
  48. 7 points
    Now I'm just short and stout.
  49. 7 points
    If theres one thing worse than an adult wearing a football top, its an entire family doing so.
  50. 7 points
    I know you’re trying to be clever here and in some way, try and save face after making such a cunt of yourself about Hillsborough recently but I’m afraid in trying to equate the two events, it has simply taken you right back down cunt alley. For a start, I’m not sure who you mean by ‘ in relation to the charges than those handed out to the murdering cunts responsible for Heysel “ Do you mean the 14 Liverpool fans that were ultimately convicted ? Or the Belgian Officials that were convicted ? Or maybe you mean the Belgian Police Officer that was convicted ? What about the chap from the Belgian FA that was also convicted ? I think the only folk that got off were EUFA. Your post is all over the place and you seem to be comparing dog turds with cat piss to make a point. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are 15 or 16 and have had a bottle of Strongbow. 👍


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