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Showing content with the highest reputation on 12/18/2018 in all areas

  1. 2 points
    This thread makes me wish Robertson was bloody Welsh.
  2. 2 points
    Ach, it was just a crap joke that you've made even worse!! The answer was Baby Cheeses (thank you Jim Royale).
  3. 2 points
    Took wee lass to a Wacky Warehouse for her 4th birthday party and we got 30 kids. Greet most of the parents as they come in and give them the free light refreshment voucher – one of the dads says ‘oh I’m going just drop Dave and come back in about an hour if that’s ok?’ I agree and he is out of there before I can actually nail down which one of the hyperactive wee bastards is his. No problem I think – I’ll just ask Mrs Whistle but she says she hasn’t got a clue either who Dave is but suggests Whistle Junior will know. Unfortunately Whistle Junior is up on level four of the climbing frame and showing no sign of coming down any time soon. I have to drag my fat arse up the apparatus, through herds of mental sugar fuelled ‘rules of the jungle’ kids and finally catch mine swinging from the monkey branches - she reluctantly agrees to help me track down Dave. She’s like a ferret and trying to keep up with her through the tunnel, over the cargo net, under the rolling sausage things has me sweating like an absolute beast. She’s well ahead and disappears around a corner when I hear her shout glaekit ‘Quick Dave my daddy is chasing you’. Before I can get around the corner they’re down the slide cackling like lunatics and all I can see is the back of a 3 foot Hulk disappearing to in to the distance. ‘Fuck it’ thinks I – I’m just going sit here and wait for their return. Unfortunately a fat, red faced man sitting uncomfortably at the top of the slide without an obvious kid of his own is not a great look and a couple of parents at the bottom were evidently wandering what I was up to. Luckily Hulk turns up but wee lass has scarpered. ‘Are you Dave’ I say in a voice that I am overly conscious of being a bit creepy. ‘Sorry my dad says not to speak to strangers’ – which is a fair point but it takes me all my restraint not to tell him that’s all well and good until his dad fucked off to watch Liverpool v Man U leaving him in a room full of them but before we can get in to logical discussion he is tearing down the slide. I launch myself after him in a manner that would be deemed out of control, reckless and a red card offence in current football parlance or a quick word that’s then rescinded on appeal if I played for the Old Firm. I get there just in time to wheezily point him out to my wife expecting a pat on the back for my efforts as try to avoid a potential cardiac arrest. To my surprise she says ‘That’s not Dave – he’s in the party hut having a drink’. Feeling slightly uncomfortable I’d just chased the incorrect infant down a shoot because two kids turned up in a Hulk costume she compounds it by smugly telling me she knew who Dave was all along and just wanted to see my fat derriere struggle up the spongey ladder to get to level two. We’re about to argue the toss when the eponymous Dave comes over ‘Thistle Junior’s Dad – I need a poo’. I walk him to the toilet like a condemned man and as I see it I have four potential scenarios ahead of me: I get a request for a help to wipe with the single ply paper being all that is between my didgit and a four year old’s anus. I stand and watch a four year old wipe his arse and talk him through it oblivious to if anyone is listening outside. I hang about outside the cubicle and give general motivation chat or ask how he is getting on hoping nobody walks in. Leave him in the hope Dad turns up before he shits himself especially as the cuffs on his Hulk suit don’t look particularly jobby tight and if that streaks on the slide it’ll ruin it for everyone. Option C is obviously the best of a bad bunch and stand outside the cubicle but unfortunately ‘Junior’s Dad – I can’t get the suit off’. So I’m in a toilet cubicle trying to unfasten his Hulk costume without looking and think I’ve got away with it when he says ‘Finished’ but unfortunately he means finished shitting so his knob is out and he’s expecting a wipe. I’m not getting involved in that so decide it is his dad’s fault he’ll do home with an itchy arse; make sure he washes his hands though as I am not a total reprobate. Curveball – Dave’s mum turns up and she is proper proper fit. I’m nervous around moderately attractive women so I’m looking like a prime gammon when a second EU referendum is announced on seeing her and the situation is compounded by Dave straight off the bat telling the now leading contender on the Cancer Mum Replacement List I watched him have a poo. I got all flustered and told her he needed help taking his suit off and that I tried not to look but couldn’t help it! Her looking at me really very shifty exacerbates the problem and all I can think to say is jokingly ‘He’ll make a girl very happy one day – like a baby holding an apple!’ And that your Honour is how I found myself in the position of having a sweaty red face, looking extremely dodgy whilst complimenting the sexual reproductive organ of a 4 year old in a public place. Where do I sign and date the register?
  4. 2 points
    Wait a minute, did Craig Browns 'successful' formula not 'fail' to qualify for Euro 2000? Your argument that it is a 3-5-2 formation that had us qualifying for all these tournaments is absolute nonsense, the bottom line is we had better players then than we do now. If a 3-5-2 automatically qualified you for tournaments then everybody would be doing it. Absolute drivel
  5. 1 point
    Give it Giggsy till end’t season
  6. 1 point
    Hi Davy, Money for 2 seats transferred. Done using Friends & Family.
  7. 1 point
    Lol that's a bit harsh, guys just giving his opinion on what he thinks is best.
  8. 1 point
    Anyone else pretty sick of this guy chripper 🙄 Mods - step in!
  9. 1 point
    The Scottish Quislings on the Tory benches were excrutiating Had to switch it off
  10. 1 point
    Never noticed Liverpool fans chanting his name as a centre mid, nor him playing all these games as a centre mid. He's worth £72m as a centre mid to you say? News to me. If you think Robertson should be moved from the position he is rated at £72m playing, get's lauded off top mangers playing. played in the European Cup Final playing,, then batter in. You're off your head and no matter how many times you say it, it's mental. As I said, stick to Football Manger and being a condescending prat. I'm only being sarcastic as that's exactly as you do when folk disagree with your pie in the sky formations. Bit like when you guaranteed we'd qualify if we switched to a back 3. Absolutely zero to base that on except the thoughts in your head. I've been sarcastic in two football threads with you 1) when you suggested merging teams to creat super teams and 2) when you suggested playing our best player out of position. Both mental yet you've convinced yourself they are good ideas. The other one I was sarcastic with you, was when you went on a massive rant on Scotty's Christmas thread with your usual "look at me" posts. And I'm the one with too much time on my hands, you're the one checking up formations from every league in Europe ya weirdo!
  11. 1 point
    I have Windscribe and find it works well. Limit of 2GB/month for the free service but you can have more than one account if you need more.
  12. 1 point
    The Porn Hub one works quite well. https://chrome.google.com/webstore/search/VPN Hub - the tech guys behind this know their stuff. Browser extension VPNs are not true virtual private networks; they're just proxies and don't offer encryption - which makes them a bit faster to the detriment of security. Apparently the majority of them route your traffic via China so big Xi Jinping knows I watch Thistle. The shame! If your plan is to watch UK telly abroad or US Netflix then you can do no wrong with this: https://tinyurl.com/WatchUKTellyAbroad It has real VPNs all over the world and uses your DNS to disguise your location making it much faster. Or you can install the Opera browser. It has a VPN built in (proxy). You can't choose country X, Y or Z though - just the continent.
  13. 1 point
    You've already said that "that's not what I meant", so prove that you didn't say it. You suggested that Messi wouldn't be able to play as anchorman. I think everyone on this forum would welcome the "failure" of qualifying for 2 out of the next 3 tournaments. Plus, Craig Brown was not sacked from the Scotland job. He quit. We came 2nd to a very good Czech team. Look at our last qualification campaign, we came third to England and Slovakia. Well, people keeping saying that we have a "strong" midfield. I disagree.
  14. 1 point
    If Jesus played a back 3 with his best disciple out of position in midfield, would you believe in it?
  15. 1 point
    Oh come on guys! Not on the Jack Harper thread. This is a place for optimism and positivity!
  16. 1 point
    Your posting style and ignorance of what's written is hugely familiar.
  17. 1 point
    Thank you, RH! What a nice sentiment!
  18. 1 point
    How can this same discussion now be happening on three separate threads?
  19. 1 point
    Dumbarton almost signed Johan Cryuff in the 80s until he realised that the 1st Divison wasn't the Top League in Scotland. 😂
  20. 1 point
    Aren't your first two paragraphs sarcastic here? Did I miss the joke?
  21. 1 point
    Yes, because Gus McPherson played for Liverpool. he played in the EPL, he played in the European Cup final, he got lauded from top managers in the game, he had a £72.1 million price tag, he captained Scotland, Liverpool fans chanted his name in every single match, people claimed that McPherson could've played for Barcelona. Apart from that that Robertson and McPherson were identical. Seriously, mate, if all you can do is enter threads and be sarcastic, you have way too much time on your hands. That goes for everyone who ever posted on a posting board. Try to form constructive points in your head and then post them. Sarcasm is the lowest for of wit, anyone can do it.
  22. 1 point
    As long as they leave Stevie Clark alone ill be happy..... 👍
  23. 1 point
    I can't imagine he will be shy of offers but he must be concerned at the way he loses the dressing room typically after one season in charge now. Players (even ones he buys) seem a little sick of his shit. I find him to be a classless individual and I loathe watching his teams play no matter where he has been.
  24. 1 point
    And we're off and running......
  25. 1 point
    ‘Anchorman’. 😏
  26. 1 point
    The straps worked well for me and after losing a bit of weight this year can just about fit into the kilt without them again. Considered getting the kilt adjusted at the time, but then thought I'd be resigning myself to being overweight for eternity. A wee bit of kilt motivation helped the weight loss!
  27. 1 point
    Darren Fletcher only ever played a handful of good games for Scotland..and for most part wouldn’t be fit to lace Barry Ferguson’s or Scott Broons jock strap.
  28. 1 point
    Ok, I’ll pm you to call you a retard 😂😂 I think you’ll find that you started with the name calling, so before you run to the teacher, keep that in mind. Also, it’s the Tartan Army Message Board, if you want a Celtic forum to spout your shite on, you’re clearly in the wrong place 👍🏽
  29. 1 point
    That's ok pal. I know you don't like me. Don't care really. Retard is a strong word. I personally would not call another human being a retard. That's the difference between you and I. Enjoy your evening...
  30. 1 point
    He does mention them. But I do wonder, did he support the Republic of Ireland's principled neutrality in the second world war, while simultaneously cheering on the just war of the Allies who shed blood refusing to appease tyranny? did he support His Majesty's glorious victorious British Army in the Great War while simultaneously supporting the 1916 Uprising against the nasty evil imperialist Brits? does he salute the peace process in Ireland for healing borders between divided peoples, while simultaneously deriding a union set up in part to bring permanent peace to Europe? does he support Brexit separation from the evil Euro imperialists, while simultaneously wishing the 6 counties of Ulster could be absorbed into the said evil Empire? ...the only common factor seems to be to put the interests of the nationhood of Britain and Ireland over that of Scotland?
  31. 1 point
    I think one of the biggest positives of this year has to be that we are now arguing about which really good players should be on the bench, rather than which mediocre players should start. I'm really hopeful for 2019, and as I've said a few times already I think it would great for the squad to have Snoddy with them, even if he doesn't play on the matchdays.

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