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Just back from Lanzarote (puerto del carmen) and it shit, windy as fuck and full of mingers, crap beer, food and its like the '80s so if you can imagine a more shitty holiday resort then its it here...don't waste your money.. 

Need a recommendation where is good?   Sick of going to crappy places so any advice is appreciated..

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Mallorca, Ibiza, Gran Canaria, Benidorm, Zante and all these all inclusive resort type places. Full of ned families that can’t see further than lying on a beach all day, drinking 24/7, eating fry ups for breakfast and for tea AN other with chips while watching English football on sky sports

Its a big world out there

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8 hours ago, kizzy said:

Need a recommendation where is good?   Sick of going to crappy places so any advice is appreciated..

I’d recommend a few days in Copenhagen

Failing that I’d suggest Dubrovnik. Its a beautiful place, beaches and drinking if your into that but It’s close by for day trips to Montenegro and Bosnia, Albania isn’t a million miles away either

Edited by DoonTheSlope
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8 hours ago, kizzy said:

Just back from Lanzarote (puerto del carmen) and it shit, windy as fuck and full of mingers, crap beer, food and its like the '80s so if you can imagine a more shitty holiday resort then its it here...don't waste your money.. 

Need a recommendation where is good?   Sick of going to crappy places so any advice is appreciated..

If you want to avoid the 'Brits on tour' types there are lots of stunning resorts in Crete, Croatia and Montenegro to name but three.

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Someoe i work with went to Maguluf (not sure on spelling!). Drank EIGHT bottles herself of Sambuca plus loads of beers in FOUR days there.

Two bottles of spirits PER DAY ! 

An utterly total waste of a life. No idea how she stays alive. Regularly has 24 cans per session.

So i would never holiday in places where people like that go to.

 

Have been to Dubrovnik, beautiful city 

 

I'd recommend also Liechtenstein. Loved trip there when we played them a few years back

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1 hour ago, DoonTheSlope said:

Mallorca, Ibiza, Gran Canaria, Benidorm, Zante and all these all inclusive resort type places. Full of ned families that can’t see further than lying on a beach all day, drinking 24/7, eating fry ups for breakfast and for tea AN other with chips while watching English football on sky sports

Its a big world out there

Benidorm is absolutely enormous

If you want to avoid the stretch that is usually jumping then you can do it easily and enjoy yourself elsewhere on the resort

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1 hour ago, DoonTheSlope said:

Mallorca, Ibiza, Gran Canaria, Benidorm, Zante and all these all inclusive resort type places. Full of ned families that can’t see further than lying on a beach all day, drinking 24/7, eating fry ups for breakfast and for tea AN other with chips while watching English football on sky sports

Its a big world out there

Port de Soller is beautiful and ned-free.

Don't tell everyone though.............

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39 minutes ago, Ally Bongo said:

Benidorm is absolutely enormous

If you want to avoid the stretch that is usually jumping then you can do it easily and enjoy yourself elsewhere on the resort

Regularly go to the old town in Benidorm it’s as Spanish as you can get some nice tapas bars there also Alicante is good as well the beach at San Juan just outside Alicante is cracking 

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1 hour ago, wheres the pies said:

Regularly go to the old town in Benidorm it’s as Spanish as you can get some nice tapas bars there also Alicante is good as well the beach at San Juan just outside Alicante is cracking 

Yep - i go to Rincon de Loix which is the newer part of the new town - particularly The Stretford End pub

Its busy enough but still quiet compared to the centre of the new town

 

 

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8 hours ago, DoonTheSlope said:

Mallorca, Ibiza, Gran Canaria, Benidorm, Zante and all these all inclusive resort type places. Full of ned families that can’t see further than lying on a beach all day, drinking 24/7, eating fry ups for breakfast and for tea AN other with chips while watching English football on sky sports

Its a big world out there

 I wouldn't tar every resort with the reputation of others.  Pollensa town in Mallorca is lovely as is Cala san Vincente ,a beach nearby. IMO they are nicer than Puerto Pollensa. I prefer to be somewhere where every other person isnt British, simply cos I want to feel I have actually left the UK. 

Just back from Portinatx in Ibiza which was nice, but maybe too quiet for many.

I would like to try Dubrovnik, have been to Split 3 times which I love,  also Okrug and Hvar, but Hvar is ridiculously expensive compared to the others, and for no good reason.   

 

OP, if you hated Puerto del Carmen avoid Marmaris in Turkey, they are similar IMO, Turkey has so many lovely places but that isnt one of them. I really liked Kalkan . My favourite place though is the Hillside Beach Club outside Fethiye. I usually hate being stuck in the one complex but I could go there each year and not get fed up. Cant afford it each year though. 

Holiday destinations are so subjective , Parklife is right to ask what you are after. 

 

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21 hours ago, kizzy said:

Just back from Lanzarote (puerto del carmen) and it shit, windy as fuck and full of mingers, crap beer, food and its like the '80s so if you can imagine a more shitty holiday resort then its it here...don't waste your money.. 

Need a recommendation where is good?   Sick of going to crappy places so any advice is appreciated..

Never been to Lanzarote but know it`s famous for being windy and less touristy than other Canary islands. Also this year weather in northern Europe has been better than south in recent weeks, not sure if that`s same with Canaries. Whatever, weather is about to change and soon southern Europe will be hotter than north as expected.  Sounds like you`ve been disappointed by other holidays too probably in other popular  beach  resorts in Spain/Portugal/Greece/Turkey.etc. with direct flights from Scotland.  If priority is good beaches and good food then southwest Spain (provinces of Huelva and Cadiz with flights to Seville and Faro) but you won`t get so many bars with foreign channels and beer etc and I`m sure there`ll be other places in Italy,Croatia etc . From July things change. I went to Cinco Terre in Italy last August and it was nice but mobbed so would only recommend going outside summer months. Imagine Dubrovnik will be the same.

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On 6/9/2018 at 1:18 AM, kizzy said:

Just back from Lanzarote (puerto del carmen) and it shit, windy as fuck and full of mingers, crap beer, food and its like the '80s so if you can imagine a more shitty holiday resort then its it here...don't waste your money.. 

Need a recommendation where is good?   Sick of going to crappy places so any advice is appreciated..

As asked above, what are you looking for in a holiday ? Do you want to be immersed in local culture and life ? Some concessions to tourism but not a complete 'resort' only for tourism ? Local food ? Is a beach important ? Etc, etc.....

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3 hours ago, Jim Beem said:

Haggerston Castle holiday park is a pure horror show. 

😂😂 we went there about 14 years ago, it was murder, literally.

We came out the caravan one morning to see police tape round one of the caravans, turns out a member of staff had been stabbed to death.

We went to Alnwick castle one day to escape, it was like entering a different universe, I didnt want to go back to the caravan park. 

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