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Deliberated and debated with myself on the plane and came up with this

 

GK Zbigniew Malkowski

 

RB Tim Clancy

CB David Stephens

CB Sean O'Hanlon (c)

LB Pa Sako Kujabi

 

RW Greg Miller

CM Bjarni Laruson

CM Ross Chisholm 

LW Allan O'Brien

 

FWD Lee Power

FWD Amadou Konte

 

Subs

GK Mark Oxley

DF Yannick Zamberbardi

DF Jimmy Bocco

MF Ray Wilkins

MF Gary Deegan

FWD Eduardo Hurtado

FWD Paul Tosh

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Walter Rojas (Dundee Utd, 1991)

Sometimes in Scottish football something so sublimely silly occurs it becomes instant legend. The signing of Argentinean ‘winger’ Walter Rojas by Jim McLean rates as one of the beautiful game’s most ludicrous moments. In Walter Rojas Dundee Utd thought they were getting a man on the cusp of international stardom, a player so good he could become the next Maradonna. He came in, he played once and he left. Myth suggests that they signed the wrong Argentinian, or that they signed the brother of a professional player, or that Walter’s agent had in fact punted him to Scotland as a footballer when he in fact he played basketball.

Whatever the truth of it, Walter Rojas remains one of Scotland’s most embarrassing signings. Despite having their fingers burnt Utd raided South America once more ten years later, conjuring up a trio of equally untalented super stars. While they didn’t last long in Dundee, better known and more expensive Scottish duds such as Paul Ritchie and Lee Miller will perhaps merit as much mockery as their more exotic predecessors.

 

Some other good ones here : http://www.scotcampus.com/the-worst-ever-scottish-football-signings

 

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18 hours ago, fringo said:

Walter Rojas (Dundee Utd, 1991)

Sometimes in Scottish football something so sublimely silly occurs it becomes instant legend. The signing of Argentinean ‘winger’ Walter Rojas by Jim McLean rates as one of the beautiful game’s most ludicrous moments. In Walter Rojas Dundee Utd thought they were getting a man on the cusp of international stardom, a player so good he could become the next Maradonna. He came in, he played once and he left. Myth suggests that they signed the wrong Argentinian, or that they signed the brother of a professional player, or that Walter’s agent had in fact punted him to Scotland as a footballer when he in fact he played basketball.

Whatever the truth of it, Walter Rojas remains one of Scotland’s most embarrassing signings. Despite having their fingers burnt Utd raided South America once more ten years later, conjuring up a trio of equally untalented super stars. While they didn’t last long in Dundee, better known and more expensive Scottish duds such as Paul Ritchie and Lee Miller will perhaps merit as much mockery as their more exotic predecessors.

 

Some other good ones here : http://www.scotcampus.com/the-worst-ever-scottish-football-signings

 

Paul Ritchie was quite good for United.  As was Victor Ferreyra.

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So many to choose from, had to whittle it down to 18

GK Eduardas Kurskis

RB - Nerijus Barasa

LB - Rafa Grzelak

CB - Jim Weir

CB - Mo Berthe

RM - Kevin Twaddle

CM - Jamie Hammil

CM - Brian Hamilton

LM - Fitzroy Simpson

FW - Ricardas Beniusis

FW - Jamie Mole

Bench - Fabien Leclerc, Kenny Milne, Arkadiusz Klimek, Gordan Petric, Fraser Wishart, Andy Watson, Peter Enckleman

 

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Amdy Faye used to be my default answer to this, however some of the dross signed during the years in the lower leagues will surely have taken this mantle from him.

I'll go with Cribari. Proof that purely being Brazilian will give you a shot at being a professional footballer.

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22 hours ago, Ormond said:

As much as he was a total cunt in the way he behaved, he was definitely better than Arkins!

Stats would disagree!!! Arkins P48 G11  Vine P35 G7    Very similar    I think Vine was CAPABLE of being better, which makes him even worse!! At least Arkins put in a bit of effort!!!   Both shyte essentially!!

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2 minutes ago, Tartantruck said:

Stats would disagree!!! Arkins P48 G11  Vine P35 G7    Very similar    I think Vine was CAPABLE of being better, which makes him even worse!! At least Arkins put in a bit of effort!!!   Both shyte essentially!!

I take it you’re not driving Juan Carlos or some Vodka tycoon aboot the noo ya boring statto cunt? :lol:

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I remember Steve Ritchie who played for Aberdeen, back in the days when I really followed them, he actually scored in a cup final v Rangers with a mis-hit shot in the late 70s. I am sure some of you will remember it.

Only thing I can remember him doing that stands out:lol:

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3 hours ago, robbo cop said:

I remember Steve Ritchie who played for Aberdeen, back in the days when I really followed them, he actually scored in a cup final v Rangers with a mis-hit shot in the late 70s. I am sure some of you will remember it.

Only thing I can remember him doing that stands out:lol:

Steve Ritchie was always my stock answer for this question until Dan Smith turned up.

 

Team:

Bossu, McNamara, Jerel Ifil, Dave Bus, Steve Ritchie,  Dan Smith, Ingolfson, Stephen Hughes, Gary MacDonald, Tommy Wright, Leon Mike

Too painful to start adding subs after thinking of a 11.

 

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Dougie Barron.  Alex Totten brought him to East Fife presumably cos he did not too bad for him at St Johnstone.  Fkin hell he was awful.  Obviously thought he would stroll through the bottom division of Scottish fitba, so every week he'd go Beckenbauering out of defence and every week a striker would nick it from him, bear down on the goalie and stick it away.

His record was twice in the first 20 minutes v Queen's Park when Totten had to hook him before we lynched the erse.  :lol: 

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2 hours ago, AberdeenAngus said:

Steve Ritchie was always my stock answer for this question until Dan Smith turned up.

 

Team:

Bossu, McNamara, Jerel Ifil, Dave Bus, Steve Ritchie,  Dan Smith, Ingolfson, Stephen Hughes, Gary MacDonald, Tommy Wright, Leon Mike

Too painful to start adding subs after thinking of a 11.

 

That man in bold was a personal hate figure of mine, even when he was warming up you knew he was going to fuck something up.

If you mixed Leigh Hinds, Calvin Zola and Nicky Maynard into that lot, you could have several combinations of the most useless strike force ever to grace the pittodrie turf. 

Edited by dandydunn
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6 hours ago, robbo cop said:

I remember Steve Ritchie who played for Aberdeen, back in the days when I really followed them, he actually scored in a cup final v Rangers with a mis-hit shot in the late 70s. I am sure some of you will remember it.

Only thing I can remember him doing that stands out:lol:

Came off his knee and went about 10 feet in the air. Peter McLoy tried to save it by swinging on the bar backwards :blink:

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