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You know you're getting old when...


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1 hour ago, Squirrelhumper said:

My family have had an Italian Business in Saltcoats for over 100 years and I wouldn't say that's racist in the slightest!

Interesting that going to the Tally van is seen as less offensive than going to the Chinky cairry oot or the Paki shop...

 

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1 hour ago, Squirrelhumper said:

My family have had an Italian Business in Saltcoats for over 100 years and I wouldn't say that's racist in the slightest!

My mother in law was Italian and she didn't think it was racist either but in the modern world there are a horde of arseholes just itching to be offended on someone else's behalf.

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56 minutes ago, Toepoke said:

Interesting that going to the Tally van is seen as less offensive than going to the Chinky cairry oot or the Paki shop...

 

There was a stage years ago when every Monday my work would be horrendous so I'd often not finish till 6 or 7 so I'd just pop in for a Chinese on the way home

One night I'm waiting and Wee Jimmy the owner (I don't think that was his real name) was working away organising deliveries or whatever and he says to me "you like a chinky on Monday don't you boss!"

:lol:

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5 minutes ago, jockodile said:

you feared the Hibs Scottish cup win might not happen in your lifetime.

The mere fact that you begin to see yourself in the context of having a finite 'lifetime' suggests you are getting old. Next thing is you actually get out a calculator to work out how much your pension will pay you every month in retirement. :mellow:

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1 hour ago, killiefaetheferry said:

The mere fact that you begin to see yourself in the context of having a finite 'lifetime' suggests you are getting old. Next thing is you actually get out a calculator to work out how much your pension will pay you every month in retirement. :mellow:

When you calculate how much of your life has passed , versus how much you are likely to have left. Reckon I am two thirds of the way there. If I give up drinking . Now.  🙁

 

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When you struggle to get your head round the fact this was 17 years ago tonight. Our bus broke down leaving Dens that night and some of us more youthful patrons got a lift down the road on the team bus

If this has been scored the Ee Pee Hell it would still be getting rammed down wur throats to this very day

 

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8 hours ago, killiefaetheferry said:

The mere fact that you begin to see yourself in the context of having a finite 'lifetime' suggests you are getting old. Next thing is you actually get out a calculator to work out how much your pension will pay you every month in retirement. :mellow:

Pension? What the fvck is a pension? :blink:

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My wife of 10 years, despite having sex already this month, misreads the contortions in my face as orgasmic ecstasy rather than a cocktail of pain and confusion as cramp struck 3, possibly 4, of my toes at the point the ejaculate was alighting Thistle Express from Love Town.  

She even praised my stuttering technique and now wants a repeat that I am not entirely sure how to accomplish without the aid of a tazering.  

   

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35 minutes ago, ThistleWhistle said:

My wife of 10 years, despite having sex already this month, misreads the contortions in my face as orgasmic ecstasy rather than a cocktail of pain and confusion as cramp struck 3, possibly 4, of my toes at the point the ejaculate was alighting Thistle Express from Love Town.  

She even praised my stuttering technique and now wants a repeat that I am not entirely sure how to accomplish without the aid of a tazering.  

   

Try not using your toes for sex for the rest of the month.

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