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  1. The latest cost cutting idea from Mr Tdyer. Last Friday night my daughter and i were chatting in the kitchen and Mr Tdyer walks in with a long plank of wood. He walked over to the fridge and brought out a pot of strawberry jam and started smearing the jam over the wood. I thought he had lost his mind, so asked him what he was doing . He said ‘ I am making a trap for the hornets’ . ‘What hornets’ I asked. ‘The hornets in the hedge in the front garden, there are hundreds of them. I read online that this works’ he says. So I left him to it. I have long given up questioning his bizarre antics. Just as we were going to bed he says ‘ Oh, I had better bring the hornet trap in or the old lady in the mobility scooter wont get past in the morning’. I said ‘where exactly is this hornet trap ? ‘ ’On the pavement on the road outside the house, below the hedge’ he says. ‘Whit?’ I said, ‘you have left a long plank of wood smeared with jam on the pavement on the main road ? ‘ He went away to get it and when he came back in i said ‘how many did you catch? ‘ ‘240’ he says. I said ‘how many did you really catch ? ‘ ’None’ he replied. I said ‘exactly how is this trap meant to work, do the hornets just fly onto the jam and get stuck ?’ ‘No , no ‘ he says, it more complicated than that. ‘They fly under the plank of wood , get stuck on the jam, then drop into the water’. ‘What water ? ‘ I asked. ‘The basin of soapy water that the plank of wood is suspended on’ he says. ’ Wtf !! , are you telling me you have a basin of soapy water sitting on the pavement outside with a long plank of wood suspended on top ?’ ’Yes’ he says, then scurried off to bed. I honestly wish I was making this story up but it is completely true. Please share your similar DIY disasters. PS. 4 hornets have been caught to date, and about 5000 ants. Infact the ants may have killed the hornets.
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