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      PLEASE READ: TAMB is not closing!   10/12/2017

      Just to provide an update on the future of the Tartan Army Message Board. To be clear the board will not be closing and instead will be staying open and will hopefully go from strength to strength. Who Are We? We are a group of Scotland supporters who have varied skills and expertise, along with experience of  being involved in football and running football message boards. When we heard the TAMB faced closure, we contacted the old team with a detailed plan which involved financing and running the board. After speaking to the old team on a number of occasions they have allowed us to put our plan into action. While speaking to them and going on their experience and that of those before them, we have elected to keep our identity private, however rest assured we have the best intentions for the board and those on it. Our Plans. Our plan will involve a number of stages which we hope will not only keep the board going but help improve and rejuvenate it. Our first step will be to do a bit of a clean-up of the board. This will involve some downtime for a few hours where posting will be disabled. We plan to do this early next week, a full notice will be posted on the board then. Once that is completed we will be upgrading the current board platform, both behind the scenes and hopefully aesthetically too. There will be an ongoing process of board improvements which we hope you, the user will help us with, so you have a board you will enjoy We thank the old board team for all their hard work, dedication and their help during this handover and hope you will all help support our plans going forward.


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About ScottieBigDog

  • Birthday 03/07/1975

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  • TA Club
    Crack of Dawn Tartan Army
  1. It's good to be back, I've missed this place!
  2. Nothing is worse than the zipper tale..
  3. Gone through con men? You've lost me..
  4. Have you ever known true terror? Well, I will tell you this my friends, I have lived it only last night, and luckily I have survived to tell you the bone chilling tale.. Imagine if you will that you're laying in bed reading your Kindle, and your poor tired eyes have had enough of 'See Spot Run' for the night. So you set it aside, turn off your lamp and settle down to snooze. Just as you are seconds from dozing off into the welcoming pitch black darkness of sleep, a voice mere centimetres from your ear whispers menacingly, "Instead of a Dark Lord you shall have a queen, more beautiful and terrible than the DAWN!!" Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm not afraid to say I near shat the bed, as my body levitated three feet off the mattress in horror. So yeah, near midnight is not really the best time for your Lord of the Rings obsessed partner to be quoting lines from the movie, in the pitch dark and using what sounds like a menacing yet somewhat posh English voice.
  5. I just ate a flipping jar of pickled onions. I'm not even ashamed.. Line up ladies, this love train 'ain't gonna drive itself.

  6. Customer at Casino tonight: "Hey big man! Don't suppose you've got a coosay on you?" Me: "Eh? A Coosay? What the f*ck's a Coosay?!?" Customer: "MOOOOOOOOO!" Me: "....Rooney."

  7. You know there's things deeply wrong with your colleagues when they shout at you to come see the video of Sooty & Sweep on their phone..

  8. I bought a tuna sandwich on my way home from work, and now wish I hadn't. It tastes like my mouth has been interfered with by evil beings.. How can you get such a thing as a tuna sandwich wrong? Did the tuna perhaps spend their adult life breathing in gallons of medical waste? I feel like a victim of crime here, I may spend the next hour sobbing in the shower, curled in a wee ball.

  9. The bin room for my building is packed with unbagged, scattered crap. Hell, in some parts I think there's actual, human crap. I had to go in there to put some stuff in the bin, and I felt like Luke Skywalker trapped in the trash compacter in 'Star Wars'. "Quick R2, raise the ceilings of all the garbage compactors on the detention level! Aww for f*ck sake, I think I just stood in an open nappy.."

  10. Just stood in a HUGE dog skitter whilst out walking Milo.. What a mess, I would hate to see the size of the Rooney dog judging by the mound of shite it left, looks like something left by an elephant with dodgy guts.. AND it got on the bottom of my trouser leg too. Damn near sucked my leg in like some kind of stinky quicksand!! I COULD HAVE DROWNED IN POOPS!

  11. Here's the soundtrack to my last 5 hours vomiting: "Oh jeez, I feel terribBRRAAAAAAAAAGGHH!! *Spit* *gag*.. Ungh, that wasn't fun. Hold on is that my anus in therAAAAAUUUGGHH!! *cough, splutter*.. Sweet baby Jebus and the orphaAAAAAAAARRRRRUUUUGHH!! *sob* Jeeez.. Help me Obi Wan.. YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!!".Food Poisoning sucks. :(

  12. Picture this: Scotty's out walking the dog, and a pretty girl across the street flashes him a smile. Scotty smiles back, but because his attention isn't in the direction he's going, he smashes his shin off a parked car, setting off the car alarm while he pirouettes onto his arse, tangled in a dog lead. Pretty girl gives one of those nasty smirks and walks away giggling..

  13. Here I am praying for a Bears win in the NFC championship game, and Paul Scott is winding me up by cheering on the Packers, asking me how many wickets there are, how much you get for a 'try' and telling me, "you know what your team needs? A goalie..". If he's found dead and jammed in a wheelie bin later on, I wasn't there officer.. honest.